help my bf is an ***?

Question

ive been with my bf 2 years,we have 3 kids (only one he has fathered)we have our own house with and a couple of dog..perfect family mould.but he is a complete ***. he can be nice and when we get along its great and i really thik we have something good,but he has these moods that when he is in there is no etting away from it. he swears shouts and moans about everything and you try and walk away and he follows you getting worse and worse and when you dont argue back he gets meen calling me names ect all for no reason.he does it for about an hour but can linger on for a whole days ..happend about 5 ties a week,mainly when he cant get his own way or things like when his son needs feeding he storms around saying HIS food is more important than his sons.i always tell him its over then he tries for days but it necer lasts...fists have also been thrown by both of us.it gets really bad.i dont want to ed it but im at a loss...how can i stop this and how can i walk away if he just follows me .

i have told him to go and get help but he wont.like i said wen he is "normal " we get along great.

after his tantrums i have toldhim i want him to go and he just says no and leaves it as that..i have told him when he is in a good mood and bad but nothing ,,,,i would take the kids and walk but this is my home and i dont see why i should move bcoz of him,i dont want us to end and i no if i call the police it would finish us for good but we have something that will work if it wasnt for his moods

Answer 1

take the kids and go...NOW

Answer 2

hi there well this is a bit of a mess......you have both been together for 2 years and i take it ,it has always been like this ,well you probably wont like what im going to say ,but please read all of this ,i was in a relationship just like youres for 21 years and in the end i couldnt take any more and to be honest i should have left a lot earlier ....youre kids are being shown how to deal with a adult relationship through hitting and arguing and like it or not they are going to think that this is how you behave in a relationship,and thats not healthy for them or you ,you must be walking around on eggshells half the time and watching his every move and i bet you can now tell when a mood swing is in the offing ........i learned to read the signs and i did every thing i could to avoid that from happening ......you know what i never could stop them ......and you know something else but i didnt work this bit out til after i left ....he was doing this for one reason only ....for a power trip ,and making me run round after him .......do youre self a favour and sit down and think in all honesty is this relationship worth all this hassle and hard work ,annd if you say yes then its time to sit him down and have it out with him and tell him he has to change (i did this bit and it didnt work for me ...it might for you) and as for youre kids if you decide that it is time to call it a day yes there will be upset and tears there is no getting away from that bit but i can promise you once the heat is over and things start to settle down a bit then you will see such a difference in youre kids and you will feel so different in youre self ,and also probably a lot happier and less stressed ,as thats what i found and i do not regret leaving thatrelationship and believe me i did everything i could to save that marriage but at the end of the day it just wasnt working and that did take a bit of time for me to see so please sit down and work this out for no one else but for youre self as you are the one how has to look after the kids and get them into adulthood good luck and take care xx

Answer 3

he sounds as selfish as my boyfriend... i'm finally over the honeymoon of "if he could just" not swing on a mood, not be so selfish, not try and trick my mind that he's not what he knows he is. statistics has proven through the years, that once a man puts his hands on you it doesn;t stop. you have a snowballs chance in hell with counseling, imagine without. he won't let go of me and i wonder how and when the final straw will play out, i have so much other stuff on my plate he's the least of my probs today. but ask yourself this, "do you like to wear high heels?" funny question? i loved to wear high heels, and there isn't a day that goes by that i die inside because my bf, choked me until i lost consciousness, then he thought i was faking it so he let me go.. i folded like a house of cards,,,trimaleolar fracture, 3 clean breaks in 1 ankle,,,, today i sport a fat scar from my operation with a plate and 7 screws in my ankle,,, this all happened because i tried to walk away, i never seen it coming, but i remember with my back walking away from him he reaached and i felt being pulled back twds him then i was in the air, my toes barely touching the ground,,,, if any of this rings a bell,,,,, then run like a bat out of hell, for you and your children's safety, it won't be easy but time heals everything,,, go

Answer 4

Suggest councelling when you guys are on talking terms & friendly to each other.. He is too much of a hard-a$$ to listen or compromise when he is angry & it wont work. You need to suggest councelling when you are friendly with him.. for the sake of the kids, the relationship, your home, your well-being, everything ! Get help soon.. Good Luck!

Answer 5

From the sound of it you are in a very dangerous situation. Your first responsibility is to protect yourself (note the "yourself") and the children.

Like someone else said, Get out of the situation.

Answer 6

The dude is miserable...set him free so he can be happy. He's probably tired of being nagged about what an azz he is. Do him a favor and let him be happy. Let him go!!

Men are azzholes because we were raised by women.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, your only option is to either kick him out, or leave. Whether or not you like it when its "normal" or not, you have to think of your kids, they will grow up thinking this behaviour is normal, and will end up in dysfunctional relationships themselves.

The best thing for your kids, is to be around good behaviour, not bad.

Answer 8

Repeat after me........I am worth more.........I deserve more.......Keep saying that until YOU BELIEVE IT. When you believe it, you'll know the answer to your question and what you should do.