A man meets a girl at a bar. They hit it off and go to his place after a few drinks.. The next day he is being arrested for statutory rape because the girl was underage and had a fake ID. Is he a pedophile? Should he go to jail? Does he deserve to be on the Sex Offender's website and be condemned for life? What do you think?
2006-11-27 19:34:29 · 20 answers · asked by Leslie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a true story. It happened to a friend of mine when he was 22 and a single father. He didn't see her ID personally. He assumed that since she was in a bar that she was at least 21 and, really, what 22 year old man is not thinking about sex all the time. It was consentual and he used a condom (though she later claimed she was too drunk and he took advantage of that.) He hired a lawyer (a real one, not a public pretender) who told him that if he fought it he would lose and spend years in prison. If he took a plea, he would get out of jail and keep custody of his son but would have to register as an offender for 10 years. Does this info change your opinion?
2006-11-27 19:48:13 · update #1
No. First of all he met her in a bar where I would believe she was of legal age to be in. Second, she has fake I.D. Apparently she is a liar. Not only to him but certainly to the doorman who let her in a place where only people aged 21 and over are even allowed inside the door. Third, She lied to whoever the bartender and / or cocktail waitstaff that served her any drinks.I don't believe a guy in that situation should be punished. If he were cruising malls, elementary, middle schools, high schools, playgrounds etc. then yes of course. He just sounds like a normal guy who wanted to find a hook up and accidentally and unfortunately picked the wrong girl. It sounds like the girl need some sort of psychiatric help before she ends up in trouble that is real. I hope whoever the guy is Best of luck to you I hope you can save yourself from this ''accident'' and have agood life.♥
2006-11-27 19:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by ♥misunderstood♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the man is not a pedofile but he did commit statutory rape. However, he should find a good lawyer and have a few witnesses from the bar (maybe the bartender who saw the ID) to prove that she had lied about her age.
BTW the definition of a pedofile is someone who likes young children, this person shouldnt be considered a pedofile because obviously the "victim" looked like an adult.
Also, depending on what state you are in if this "victim" is 16 years or older then it is only statutory rape if she did not provide permission. And if she didn't provide permission it doesn't matter what her age is, the perpetrator should be persecuted for rape.
2006-11-28 03:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I think is there is NO DEFENSE to statutory rape. No defense, no matter what, no defense. You will really need to be more careful in the future. I wouldn't call you a pedophile, you thought she was of age, didn't you? Unfortunetly, the state feels you are since you had sex with a minor and that's why you're on the sex offender's list. How old are you? Or how old is this man? If he's like 40 hitting on a presumed to be 18-25 year old, he shouldn't leave home until his mid life crisis has subsided. If he's 25 hitting on someone he presumes to be his own age, what the hell. It's hard to tell these days. My niece is 16 looking like she's 20, you have to be more careful.
2006-11-28 03:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this does not mean that he is a pedophile, unless she looked like a child, and he believed she was a child, which I doubt, considering he met her at a bar. Should he go to jail? I don't know. Does he deserve to be on the Sex Offender's website and be condemned for life? I don't think so. He met her in a bar. When you're in a bar, you pretty much assume that other people there are of age, otherwise they wouldn't be allowed in. Unfortunately, the law isn't always fair.
2006-11-28 04:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. If a girl misleads a person, especially with a fake ID, the guys not going to go and do a load of checks on the ID, especially if she can pull of the age.
The guy should get a slap on the wrist, and thats all, and learn from his mistake.
For a person to commit a crime, they have to be aware they are committing the crime, this is known as Mens rae, which translated means guilty mind.
If a person does not know they are committing a crime, (apart from if they are mentally ill or other circumstances)
then they cannot be prosecuted for it.
In this case, the man would have proof that he did not know he was committing the crime, as the girl had the fake ID.
2006-11-28 03:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Resolution 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girlfriend's son was led to believe that a 16 year old was 19. her mother allowed them to have sex in her home. he was 22. after he found out she was underage, he broke up with the girl. the mother filed charges for statutory rape. he spent 5 years in prison and is now on probation and must register as a sex offender.
2006-11-28 03:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where the law and natural justice cross into grey territory.
If she is drinking in the bar, and has shown ID that "proves" she is old enough to drink, and therefore by law old enough to have sex, then it's daft to jail him.
However the law doesn't seem to take that into account, just the fact that she's a minor, and he would still end up on the register.
2006-11-28 03:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on how old the girl looked...I think from what you're telling me, he thought he was with a girl "of age" who was a young woman...and how old was he? It is rather odd for a mid-aged man to go after a 21 y/o girl, even disturbing, but if he's in his twentiesthen I think he was just tricked. And even if he was mid-aged, I don't think that makes him a pedophile, I think it just means that he wanted a much younger woman, not a child or teenager.
2006-11-28 03:40:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the definition of pedophile depends on both of their ages...if the girl is 17 and the guy is 18, I wouldn't consider that a pedophile.
Should he go to jail? Again, I think that depends on the age difference AND how old she told him she was.
2006-11-28 03:38:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anne 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Noooo. I don't think he should. I don't think that's fair. Maybe he was a little stupid for falling for a fake ID, and maybe a couple other things, but hey, he was fooled. He didn't know. There's a great chance that he wouldn't have had sex with her if he knew how old she really was.
2006-11-28 03:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by ?Johanna Loves Superman? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋