I broke up with my boyfriend (mutual breakup, he agreed) just over two weeks ago. Of course I've been hurting a lot ever since and kept having that nagging feeling of needing some closure. Last night I called him and we talked for a while, about the breakup and what went wrong between us. I apologized for things I did that hurt him, but he did no apologizing on his part. That bothered me all day today, so I called him tonight to say I needed him to tell me he was sorry too, which he did. Then he said some things later in the conversation that bothered me, one was that he has a date with another girl on Saturday. (already??) and that he fell out of love with me about a week before we broke up, when we had a really nasty fight. I was still trying to patch things up between us. Him saying these things seems very passive-aggressive to me. I did want to be friends with him but now I'm having serious 2nd thoughts. Part of me wants to move on, and part of me wants him in my life. What to do?
2006-11-27 19:28:49 · 11 answers · asked by Mysti1000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is hard to let go. Remind yourself that what you feel you want to hold onto is not what the reality is. Pretty soon the part of you that wants to move on will get stronger and the ache will ease. Focus on being extra good to yourself.
2006-11-27 19:37:05 · answer #1 · answered by Tarpaulin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if he said that he didn't love you anymore is reason enough to move on. You wouldn't want to force yourself to someone obviously saying he doesn't feel the same way as you do. You'll just end up hurting yourself in the long run... (you will hate yourself trying so hard to get him back and not succeed) might hurt your ego and self esteem. So I'd say since he made his point that he "fell out of love" even a week before you broke up means he made up his mind that he won't be making it with you. Sorry to be so blunt might sound mean but think about it. Just move on try to keep yourself preoccupied and look better than you ever were.
Good Luck!
2006-11-27 19:40:16 · answer #2 · answered by sk97us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like someone that it would be hard to be friends with--he shouldn't have told you about the other girl this soon. That was just childish on his part. I have been there (needing closure), it truly does get easier day by day. Over time, you realize that it wasn't closure that you needed, but that you wanted an affirmation from him that it wasn't your fault and that you are an attractive, fun person, worthy of love--YOU ARE!! Things will get better! In the meantime, enjoy being single and go out with friends. Above all, don't call him--he's just playing games. Go out and enjoy your life! Take care!
2006-11-27 19:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by Moose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing although mine called me about a month later. I say sit it out. He's on a rebound and chances are (unless he's been hanging or eyeing this new chick up for awhile) he's gonna see that the grass aint so green on the otherside of the fence. You can't just go from one relationship to another without having some feeling unless you're heartless. I'd suggest going out with friends more and working out. Something to keep your mind off of it. You don't all of a sudden fall out of love with someone. He was plotting this for a long time and waited till he knew this new chick had potential way before you broke up. Once he comes back make him work extra hard, but rather he's just gonna use you for emotional support till he finds the right one. Don't be a tool.
2006-11-27 19:33:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mike Hunt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I dont think he really loved you at the beginning, because how is he gooing "to fell out of love" you dont stop loving someone from one day to another. I think you should move on, and find someone that really deserves you. Maybe you just feel like you need some company and thats why you want him back, but there are better options out there.
2006-11-27 19:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by amy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's being a total dink.
Move on, no friendship. He's already looking for other girls to be with and you hearing about the dates and stuff will only make you feel like you want him back SO BADLY. Don't even do it to yourself, especially when he's saying such nasty things to hurt your feelings. He knows you're feeling sad about him and he's loving it. Makes him feel kinda good to know he can have you back anytime he wants to.
2006-11-27 19:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by tami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Let him make the first and last move if it comes to that. After all you want to have some control over your life. Good time to begin!
You have the rest of your life to concider after all!
Good LUCK!
2006-11-27 19:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by BadBill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes moved on and so should you. go out on a first date since your break and have fun, let your hair down.forget about him.
2006-11-27 19:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should move on with life..cz you and him are not sure with your relationship..so its better to give both some time as u will realise soon ur feelings towards him
2006-11-27 19:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is your ex now he doesnt want to get back with you and it may be that he never really loved you in the first place
2006-11-27 19:37:21 · answer #10 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋