Please respond with a joke of yours?

Question

An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.

The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

Answer 1

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."

He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.

When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?"

Answer 2

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky,

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by Indian,

using Bill Gates's technology,

and you're probably reading this on your computer,

that use Taiwanese chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers,

hijacked by Indonesians,

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friend, is Globalization..........!

Answer 3

WoW nice joke!!!

A lady got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the lady slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

You're right," She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."


And here's another one:

An Arab, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.

The head of the tribe says to the Arab, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The Arab responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.

When he is finished the Arab has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the Arab away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"

"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.

"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

Hope u enjoy them

Answer 4

A little bird was flying through the rainforest when it heard something calling out. It flew down and found an elephant stuck in a mud hole. Hello Mr Elephant can I help? No but go and gat the King o the jungle Mr Lion. Off the bird went and found him at home. Told him the problem so he got his Porsche from the garage and a tow rope and followed the bird to the elephant on pulled him out. The elephant was so grateful that he told him he was now his buddy and anytime he was in trouble he could call on him. …………And the months rolled by until one day the elephant was walking through the forest and he could hear a cry for help. Sounds like my buddy he thought. He found him in the same mud hole! Go get Mr Lion said the bird. Off went the elephant, crashing through the forest to the lion’s house. Knocked on the door, no answer, rushed to Mr Rhino’s house and was told Mr Lion had gone on holiday just that morning. Panic set in, he rushed to see the little bird who had now sunk up to his wing-pits. Little bird sorry Mr Lion was not in. I’ll have to get you out myself. With that he reversed up to the hole and stuck his tail out, but the bird couldn’t reach it. He tried with his trunk, still couldn’t reach. Oh no he thought but then I am a bull elephant with one other very large appendage and with that he pushed it out as far as he could reach. The little bird held on tightly with its beak and was pulled out! ……………….

And the moral of the story is if you’ve got a c**k like an elephant you don’t need a Porsche to pull a bird!!!!

Answer 5

lol. good joke.wow loved that dude. heres mine:


A 17 year-old Antartican boy was hired to paint a white line down the middle of the highway. On the first day, he got off to a good start and he painted a white line 7 miles long. The next day, however, he painted a line only 4 miles long. On the third day, he was down to less than a mile. Finally, his friend Max asked him why he was doing less each day. The boy replied, "I guess it takes me longer and longer to get back to the bucket each day."

Answer 6

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly to your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink so fast that its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose Motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

Answer 7

Here's one from about a year ago A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton." They are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection." The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?" "About a gallon."

Answer 8

Thank you.Here is one.
The Boss is coming to the office one day leaving the zip open.His steno observes it and asks:
"Sir,do you leave the doors of your fortress always open"
The boss realising says:
"So what,don't you notice an alert upright soldier right there."
"No sir,I see only a lazy fellow tucked between two pillows"
I got that one from a Tamil weekly.Is the translation alright.

Answer 9

My friend, an orthadox country fellow, who happened to be stayed in a hotel during his journey. After supper, before he goes to his room, he entered into the Common Toilet for passing No.1. By oversight he entered into the Ladies Toilet. During his passing course, a woman entered in. Seeing the male guy, the woman shouted, "Hey Mr!, don't you know that this is for ladies only.?" "Yes Ma'm, But do you think that 'this' is for someone else other than women?" showing the tool, he asked.

Answer 10

Ha ha.. let me continue...and the American businessman said: " I see, " and the following night , he took the same hooker out again. This time, he made his choice correctly. lol

Answer 11

A 767 is flying over the Atlantic. The engine fails, and the plane starts to go down. The stewardess runs into the cockpit, rips off her blouse and screams at the captain: "Please! Before I die, make me feel like a real woman!" The captain stands up, rips off his shirt and says, "OK, iron this."