i love this guy with all my heart but i dont want to get hurt what should i do?

Question

i mean i love this man. like a romeo and juliet. so how do i let go and love without worrying about getting hurt. cuz most relationships dont work these days and my chances could go 50/50. so what in the world do i do.

Answer 1

This question is a real tough one, I have answered many and try to answer this as a challenge.

The fact that a man can be CERTAIN that he doesn't want a relationship or a commitment with one woman... and then weeks or months later turn 180 degrees and become deeply committed with another woman proves that there's something else going on here. Give me another nod if you know what I'm talking about here and you've seen this common situation with men as well. Exactly.

And now I'm going to give it to you straight as a man...Could it be that when a man acts completely uninterested in a real relationship, or doesn't want to commit, that maybe... just maybe...it has NOTHING to do with his fear of commitment? What if is SOMETHING ELSE entirely?

Think about it for a second...When a man physically leaves or emotionally withdraws from a relationship, the common response
most women have is to think of all the reasons why he did this and what it means about HIM. Here's a few common examples of this kind of thinking:

"He's got commitment issues."

"He's just not emotionally mature."

"He's not ready."

"He was intimidated by me and afraid of the real love we have."

"He still needs to go out and play with other women before he'll be able to be with one woman."

If you're like LOTS of women you've have had these same thoughts when one of YOUR relationships was in
jeopardy or ended. The REAL TRUTH is that when someone pulls away from or leaves a relationship, BOTH partners play a role.

And sure... guys can and do ACT afraid of commitment, pull away emotionally, and do things to make a more committed relationship difficult. But this doesn't mean that the way they ACT is the whole truth. Just like how you can be fighting mad with a man or upset with him, even though you love him so much and actually want you two to be closer. In other words, a man's emotional responses and behaviors, such as being distant, afraid of the future, or acting indifferent is just one part of how a man FEELS when he's around you. Men are emotional too - just in different ways and at different times.

Most women play a huge part in DRIVING MEN AWAY from perfectly good relationships. Of course, if you are one of the women who does this, you usually have little or no idea that you're doing this. In fact, you're COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUS of your part in pushing a man away because you're too busy thinking that all your words, emotions and actions are supposed to be bringing a man closer to you. And you behave in subtle ways that, little by little, push the man farther and farther away.

One of the most common ways that women do this is by constantly identifying MISTAKES a man is making, or ways that a man makes them UNHAPPY, and pointing these out all the time, over and over, without prompting or warning. Think for a minute about what this makes a man THINK and FEEL about you, your relationship, and about himself...

Anything that might make a man feel MORE AFRAID of your relationship, or MORE FEARFUL of his ability to make you feel good, and thus feel good about himself as your partner?

Well, what if there were just a few simple steps that if you followed would act like an INSURANCE POLICY against ever driving a man away from you and making him less interested in a future with you?

1. It's easy to blame your partner for causing problems in a relationship, and most of us aren't willing to look inside to see what role WE play in creating the issues. Help a man be all he can be with you, without being "at fault" and making things worse off for you.

A quick way to tell the difference between a man who will string you along and eventually dump you, and a man who is emotionally mature and ready for a long term, mutually satisfying relationship. The simple shift you can make TODAY that can make an INSTANT shift in your man's behavior (This is EXACTLY what you should do if you want a deeper level of intimacy and better emotional connection with your man. It works like MAGIC.)

What if you could find Mr. Right in your CURRENT relationship? Here's the steps to discover if this is a possibility for you and your current partner, or with your NEXT partner if you're not in a relationship.

1. Do you come from a FEMININE or MASCULINE place in your relationships? Most women THINK they behave in a feminine way, when in truth they're trying to "be the man" in the relationship when a man isn't pulling his weight in one or more areas. Here's why you MUST know what style you use in your relationships... the answer may surprise you (Just because he's a man doesn't mean he'll take the masculine role, nor you the feminine. COMPLEMENT his energy, rather than COMPETE with it)

Why it's so easy to feel that your man is not on your "team", and how to bring him over to your side with hardly any effort at all?

It's a fact: Society bombards women these days with pressure to be masculine by running not just their careers, but households, families, schedules, etc. Keep deeply in touch with the strength of your feminine energy, while also staying that "softer" girl who is so disarming and ATTRACTIVE to men.

It's amazing how often the universe will give you something when you "lean back" and create the space for something wonderful, rather than forcing it or creating pressures by demanding and asking for it. Just relax and finally accept a wonderful man into your life, by LETTING GO. You'll be amazed at how you can do this and how intoxicating it is for a man to start DOING for you under his own free will.

Why it's so easy to get sucked into helping your man organize, make decisions, etc., and why this is like TOXIC POISON to a relationship. (Plus ? what you can do instead to respect his autonomy and draw him even CLOSER to you)

Most women make excuses for men who leave like "he was afraid of commitment" or "he never expressed his emotions". The reality is that most women DRIVE MEN AWAY - and the saddest part is they don't see the role THEY play in destroying the relationship. Keep 2 points in mind:

1. Beware of The dark side of giving TOO MUCH in a relationship. (Hint: Men love to give, so to keep a relationship healthy you must stop giving enough to create the space for HIM to give to YOU.

2. Make a proper selection of your man. Many women unconsciously choose emotionally-closed men as an excuse not to be vulnerable in relationships. Do attract and open yourself to a relationship of deep connection, incredible intimacy, and true friendship.

I do hope I have been able to put your mind to rest.
Good Luck with your love life>r

Answer 2

Remember that Romeo and Juliet died because of their love for each other.

A lot depends on how he feels and how ready he is for a relationship to work. I've been where you are and the lady didn't feel as I did. So you move on.

50/50 isn't bad odds. Go for it. Be prepared for the relationship to fail and pray that it doesn't. You might be surprised.

There is an old saying for us guys: "Faint heart never won fair lady." It works both ways.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well when it comes to the heart games are not to be played. If you truely do not want to be with him than you have to tell him. It's not fair to him to let him continue without him knowing this. But if your unsure which it sounds like you better think it through before you leave him because you could lose something worth keeping. You have to remember one thing after every chance theres not always gonna be another chance.
If you do leave him and your hurt just keep your self busy. Do not talk about him and whatever you do don't do things that remind you of him. And most of all DON'T TALK OR SEE HIM!! Life will go on!

Answer 4

No pain, No gain! You seem to me a very romantic person. That is good. See, at this point you are thinking that it may hurt in future, but who knows you may yourself want to get out of this at some point of time and the other person may feel hurt. So stop worrying about hurt. Be honest, be sincere and leave out things which are not in your control. Keep being in love ;-)

Answer 5

The simplest answer...? Trust your instincts. If you truly believe you will get hurt, then chances are that you will. The big question is, will it be intentional (like he leaves for someone else) or unintentional (like maybe you 2 have a misunderstanding). Women really do have intuition, and if you follow it, it will lead you down the right path. Good luck!

Answer 6

If this guy in particular hasn't given you a reason to worry, then don't. If you keep looking for the hurt you will find it. If you love without abandon, you might find happiness. Not all men are dogs.

Answer 7

wait n watch. does he love u the same too? dont get into a relationship without any fore thought. Be friends first and get to know him better.

Answer 8

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Tennyson - 1850

If you are afraid of getting hurt THEN you are not capable of falling in love...forget it.

Answer 9

Weigh all of your options. Dont let a bad relationship decide wut happens for the rest of your relationships. Understand u r wit someone different and learn from mistakes. If u have nothin to lose dont hold bak any feelins from him.

Answer 10

Nobody wants to get hurt. But if you don't take a chance, you'll stay single forever. Good luck!

Answer 11

i know what u mean. I hv been there too.
what you should do is Loving freely without emotion without heartache without jealousy, just love giving love to him.
You'll learn by time, be patient, ok.