He's always doing drugs - that I can live with, but last night he broke into my house and threatened me and my wife with a knife. I know he was high and desperate so I gave him some money. Eventually he calmed down and ended up sleeping on the sofa, but I worry about him, he's my brother afterall.
The wife wants me to report him to the police. I don't know what to do, I am loyal to her and my brother. Any advice would be a great help.
2006-11-27 17:26:51 · 45 answers · asked by R G 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Easy problem to approach. Tell him to not visit you in that state again or you will have him arrested and never allow him to stay overnight. If you think that too drastic just ask yourself how you would feel if he actually did hurt your wife or worse. Your brother could potentially ruin your life, especially if you give him the opportunity.
You are a fool to be loyal to your brother while he is going through this problem and by being loyal you are not helping him. He needs to be accountable for his actions and if you let him get away with this kind of behaviour it is likly to continue.
The sad reallity is that you have to forget him as a brother until he kicks the drugs because any loyalty you show him will likely be abused, taken advantage of and be taken for granted.
2006-11-27 18:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs help and immediately. The other issue here is that as he was high his judgement is askew and he could very well of stabbed either or both of you. You realy need to tell him to stay away and yes maybe telling the police is the best way to help him. drugs are awful things and he could well threaten you with a knife again - and the insidious issue here is - if you dont give into him the second time around he might think in his drugged out state he has not used enough force and and up the anti and either you or your wife could be killed. This is a very serious situation. many people have been stabbed by someone whose intention was only to scare.
People using drugs donot have the same feelings as people who are straight. Meaning that the most important issue for your brother is his drugs - NOTHING and No One matters. To you he is your brother - a family member you want to help and love. To him you are another person to use for drugs.
Put your foot down now and send him away and the best way to do this is contact the police, let them know whats happening and he will stay away from you. Druggies hate coppers. And remember this - no one can help your brother accept your brother. He is the only one that can wake up and straighten his life out not you. And sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind and let him know you are not going to place your family in danger becuase of him. Good luck and its a tough decision. God bless
2006-11-27 18:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your brother needs some help mate and quite frankly giving him money to support his addiction is not really helping much is it????
He made your wife fear for her life
He scared your wife
He broke into your house
He has proven that he is no kind of brother, if the shoe was on the other foot would you do this to him????
Didn't think so.
Tell the police, this is the only way he will get any help with his addiction.
He is going to end up hurting someone or a family just to get a buzz, how would you feel know that you could have stopped that but didn't.
Be a man, BE A HUSBAND, your wife needs you to support her not your brother. Report your Brother, it will be the hardest thing to do but it's the right thing to do, not only for your wife but FOR HIM.
Be Strong
x
2006-11-27 20:42:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your brother pulled a knife on you and disrespected you in front of your wife and in return you gave him some money and a place to sleep,if you dont call the police and report him what do you think he will do next time?You are just hurting him if you dont get him some help and sad but true locked up is the only thing some people understand.Seems drugs have got the best of his mind.Sleep in peace get him some help,start with the police.
2006-11-27 17:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is really a hard decision to make, nevertheless, your
brother did break into your house and armed with a
knife threatening you and your family which could turn
into a tragedy if you had not been able to calm him down.
For his own good and your family, you have no other
choice but to report the incident to the police because the
next time you may not be able to calm him down. The
judge in most similar cases would probably send him to
a rehabilitation centre.
2006-11-27 19:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by CAPTAIN BEAR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a right scum bag threatening his own family and saying he calmed down afterwards in no excuse...... IMHO you need to tell him to get professional help NOW or if he refuses tell him you never want anything more to do with him and if he ever comes round your house again after this warning then call the cops on him.
This may be hard to do i know but at the end of the day unless he accepts his problem and the hurt it causes others he'll just carry on being a scum bag , so this course of action may just shock him into doing something.
2006-11-27 20:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by I.P. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son went through drug rehab years ago and is now a wonderful happy person so I say this from experience. If your brother is at the point of pulling a knife on you and your wife, call the police. By giving him money, you are enabling him to keep his habit. A druggie will not stop until he hits bottom. And his friends and family have the power to send him to his bottom very quickly. Do not make deals with him about going to rehab. He has to choose it on his own or it won't work. I finally kept a list of drug-rehabs on my kitchen counter. The only thing my son got from me (from then on) was the list.
2006-11-27 17:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by mysterymardi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your brother needs help, he sounds like he is messed up at the moment, drug addicts do sometimes need to be forced into changing. The only way this is possible is for u to report it to the police and for him to realise how serious things are. I know its hard, but you and your wife do not need to be living in fear. You would never forgive yourself if u do nothing and your brother was to produce a knife on another innocent victim the next time he was needing cash.
2006-11-28 21:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by Louise L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would not be disloyal to him by reporting him to the police as your actions would be for his good, to get him the help he desperately needs. If he can threaten you and your wife with a knife what will he do next - kill someone? You have to get help for him as he is not going to seek help himself. You also have a moral duty to protect your wife and anyone else out there he could threaten. Don't see it as being disloyal but see it as helping him to sort out his life. Just because he is your brother doesn't mean he can go around threatening people and who knows what. Good luck and I hope you do the right thing for his sake..
2006-11-27 19:36:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would be a case of tough love if you did report him. You are going to have to put yourself and your wife first, this behaviour cannot happen again. What if he managed to hurt your wife or worse, you would always think to yourself "I could have prevented that".
If you can't face reporting him, then you need to make sure that your house is secure so that he can't break in. Ban him from the house but let him know that once he wants to clean himself up you will be there to support him. You are not doing him any favours by turning a blind eye to this behaviour.
I hope this helps a bit.
2006-11-28 04:14:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋