My father was an alcoholic, and my oldest sister (in her 50s) is following in his footsteps. My father never tried to justify his addiction, but my sister does. First she said she had to give it over to God. Then if she took one sip of a drink, she could not control anything after that. When she was pressured to stop, she began to take drugs. She blamed everyone who tried to make her sober for her drug addiction. Then she literally blamed anything for her to get drunk.
Now she claims there is a special gene, and she is destined to always have her addictions. I do not understand it at all, being her sibling. Yes, I could move back in with mom and dad too, and say such things like she does. I do not want to do it. I cannot imagine sponging off my parents while going through menopause.
2006-11-27 17:13:22 · 13 answers · asked by Too Curious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They have been many searching for the "alcoholic gene", ever couple of years; someone claims to have found it and it is soon debunked.
At best, the potential for becoming an alcoholic may be genetic, but no one becomes an alcoholic without drinking alcohol consistently over a period of time.
Sounds like your sister has been exposed to just enough AA to learn the excuses; it's a common problem. AA only has a 5% success rate:http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html
Other methods rank higher:
http://www.behaviortherapy.com/whatworks.htm
But still, it's the person who has to want to change.
2006-11-28 02:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by raysny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if the gene really exists or not. I've heard theories (I think) that there is an inherited gene for addictive tendencies but I too, doubt for similar reasons to your own.
My dad was an alcoholic and I didn't realize it until I was in my 20's (I'm 30 now)
I drink maybe twice a year and that may be stretching it
My sister however (who is now 27) is a slobbering drunk fool 90% of the time and she blames it on the drunk gene she got from dad.
I hope she grows up before she hits 50 and realizes her life has been wasted while she was wasted.
Meanwhile, I'm sorry I can't be more supportive for you, I do realize the battle you are facing and will pray for you though!!
2006-11-27 17:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by sixcannonballs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol can run in the family. Parents are also supposed to be roll models and if kids see them drink or smoke they may follow suit. Some have addictive personalities. Using it as an excuse for behavior problems is lame. It's like blaming genetics for looking like a cow when most of these people sit around eating twinkies all day.
2006-11-27 17:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mike H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its nurture over nature on this one. Putting the blame on genetics is just another excuse for a pill. She doesn't need to drink to live but she needs to drink to cope with stressors. She seems like she is lacking attention in some part of her life and is using addiction to secure it.
If your family tree has lots of alcoholics, i believe you'll be naturally more resistance to its side effect.
2006-11-27 17:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by dave c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not enough scientific evidence to support addicts yet!! but they do think it is some what genetic and also they think that there is a part of the brain that tell the rest of us no stop we don't want it etc.. that is missing or not working in all addict give her as much support as you can but don't let her get you down not all children turn out just like there parents good luck just try and live your life and let your parents worry about the money they have to spend on her.
2006-11-27 17:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im just realizing that my 70 year old mother is probably an alcoholic and have many questions like you. shes tearing my life all to hell. ive never heard of any other alcoholics in my family although as a kid it seem like everyone drank.
ive ask her to quit drinking and she wont. i really just dont get it at all. im right there with you on this one and wish it would go away, genetic or illness.
2006-11-27 22:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I learned in my Psychology class that YES an Alcoholic can be traced back to family members that were also alcoholics. At the same time, I personally believe that if someone truely wants to change it is possible. The only catch is that they really have to want to change.
2006-11-27 17:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by iwannabeanofficer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one forced her to follow in her father's footsteps. After seeing what alcohol does to him, you'd think she'd want a better life for herself than that. Justifying it and using excuses isn't going to help her and hopefully no one is falling for her excuses. Face it, you're the better kid.
2006-11-27 17:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre only an alcoholic if you acknowledge that theres a problem. til then youre just a drunk.
everyone lives the life that they chose to lead. no one forced your sister to follow the path that your father chose. no one held a gun to her head and told her to drink or die....same goes for the drugs.
if shes making excuses for why she will always have her addictions then really she doesnt want to give it up. you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped....sorry.
2006-11-27 17:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by beb27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, alcoholism does run in families. She can blame whom ever she chooses for her problems, but she is the one who didn't get help for her illnesses. And living off of your parents in your fifties doesn't sound pretty either. But no one chooses to live that life. But you can chose not to get help, as well.
2006-11-27 17:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋