Answers from nice, intelligent, successful Men please...?

Question

Hi, I am a beautiful woman (so I'm told by just about every man I meet) with a great smile (also so I'm told by men) and I can also hold my own in a conversation, I'm intelligent and not up myself, I am successful in my career. Problem...I have trouble meeting nice, intelligent and successful men and the ones I do meet are all taken and I usually only meet them in the first place when I'm out with my more bold friends who happily approach strangers. Am I just being too shy? Why dont any men that arent drunken creeps approach me?

Answer 1

Two things:

The perception by most guys is nice guys end up as a "friend" listening to many stories of how they are not treated right by the guy she is currently seeing. For the most part it is true that the "nice guy" finishes last. GUYS believe nice guys finish last so their approach to women may be to appear more "dangerous".

The second thing is maybe your bold friends are on to something. Many "nice guys" are totally CLUELESS as to when a woman may be interested. Women can send all the "signals" in the world but some guys will never pick up on them; subsequently, the woman gets frustrated and moves on. Your friends who make the first move may actually have success in finding a decent guy who might not have approached them on their own.

Make some bold moves of your own. Talk to some nice guys. When you find one who is interesting offer to buy him a drink and see where it goes from there.

good luck from a "nice guy".

Answer 2

The situation you have explained is the bane of many beautiful, intelligent women that I know. Most men, unfortunately, have a set of often misguided schema about how they should approach women.These schema come from what they unconsciously learn from the zeitgeist and suppress their ability for independent behaviour. Couple that with alcohol and you are onto a no winner, specifically in bars and clubs!

What you need to do is to first acknowledge the fact that the number of people whom you are attracted to and can go out with, i.e., good-looking, intelligent men, is less than the the reverse type! As a result, there are bound to be fewer opportunities for you than for your less sophisticated friends.

secondly, You need to recognise that this situation is not due to your shyness but grace. You just don't fit into the behavioural pattern of most people and that is absolutely fine. In fact, to an intelligent man, it would be even more attractive.

So, to sum up, have a fairly detailed map of the dispositions you are looking for in a man - try to get a qualitative feel of how many of these characteristics are present in him when you first meet - and don't be too hard on either yourself or others. Experience life and see what it throws at you! Some of the traits you are looking for may only shine after a while and not on the first encounter. Regards!

Answer 3

Well, first of all, remember that all the good men are either taken, dead, or gay. :-)

Seriously, though, most of the time the nice, intelligent, successful men don't have to go out and approach women because women see these qualities in them and approach them...if the work is done for you, why not?

So, one step would be to go to these men....plus, some men are shy too....being succesful doesn't necessarily men they are outgoing

Good luck in your conquests for a man. If what you've said about yourself is true, I'm sure you will have no problem finding the right guy of your dreams.

Answer 4

As a male myself...the problem is you have to have the conjones to come up to a girl like you. Normally the axiom of the nice guys finish dead last theory holds true here. I mean the more guys with the bigger self esteems and do not worry about rejection will go up to a woman like you.
Plus you add a little hooch in there system...men with big self esteems have even a higher inflated ego.
You seem like a great girl and you seem like you have a good set of friends. What you should do is to find a guy at the bars that is not tripping on himself and use your friends to land on the grenade while you talk to the guy you want to catch. Then you can pick and choose the guys you like instead and determine if you want to pursue something more with them. Nice guys would love those things and it'll make it seem also that you didn't go up to him as a sense of desperation but your friend did.

Answer 5

Try to avoid places with drunken creeps. Think of your interests and seek out men who share those interests and engage in the same activities. Whether or not you hit it off, you'll still make friends and maybe form a network that can lead you to Mr. Right.

You sound like a classic catch. I'm taken myself, otherwise....hmm. :)

Anyway, good luck! You're bound to get someone worthy in time.

Answer 6

Possibly alot of guys that try not to be seen as drunken creeps sorta stay in the backround and are not as forward as others might be. Also, with you being the "shy" one, they might take that as being reserved, unapproachable or already attached so they go for what might be more into the comfort zone for them, the louder, more forward ladies that are obviously cruising.

Answer 7

ah.... can you let us know when you lower the response standards to drunken creeps, so-so men and such? There's a bunch of us wait'n here scratchin' our nappy heads.. you know sort of like at an airport boarding gate waiting for you to call us after no first class passengers stepped up. How'sabout upgradin' some seats baby? I could use that free alcohol.. hehe yea baby...

Answer 8

there is no need to be shy all u have to do is to meet the people regularly and talk to them to start with start taliking to urself in front of mirror and then start talking to young kids if u are able to talk to 10 kids at a time it means u can defeate whole world dale carniges book how to influence people and win friends will throw some insights on this u can read that

Answer 9

Probably because we are sick of being rejected by Women.

Since the guys that a girl wants later in life are the ones that are less popular in high school,you girls rejected us long ago, so you could go out and date the jerks you whine about later.

So the guys stop trying to get the girls and instead focus on a career and a happy/lonely bachelor life of office work and watching television at home.

also the guys you want to marry don't hang out at bars.
they go to resurants or eat at home. they like dressing up such as when they go to dances or events that are formal or black tie. they know the basics of dressing them selves in style. don't swear or curse. are dignified.

Answer 10

Tell you what - 'why don't the intelligent, successful and nice men approach you?' - I have an idea - go, aprroach em and ask em if they are interested. Every success and joy task time, effort and sometimes cost!