Friends with benefits ?

Question

A guy I dated briefly years ago is back in my life.
When we dated it was innocent, no sex.
I am moving 100 miles closer to him by pure chance to be near my parents & work. I wont be moved home for a couple of months though.
He keeps taking about us being friends and finally doing you know what.
But he's brought up being friends with benefits a couple of times.
I know he's single and is looking for a serious girlfriend.
Should I feel insulted by his suggestion ?
I told him that I have self respect & that would never interest me long term.
Told him Id like to be friends first, maybe even do 'it' but never be just friends with benefits in long run.
He didnt protest or acknowledge what I said.
Should I be insulted by his suggestion ? Does that mean he doesnt see me in the girlfriend category ?
If so Im just going to move on, I have good self esteem and won't waste the pretty on lamo friends with benefits forever. :)

I guess the problem is that I really like him so much and can see myself falling hard for him.
Him bringing up friends with benefits scares me too much to trust him not to break my heart :(

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you already know the answer to this question. When a guy is only interested in being "friends with benefits" that is basically a nice way of telling you that yes he wants to have sex, but no he doesn't want you as a girlfriend. Ever heard of the old saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? I would just move on and find a guy that will give you the respect you deserve. Don't waste your time on a guy like this. All that will bring is heartache.

Answer 2

Asking you that question basically means "lets have sex you mean nothing more than a bootycall" because if he was really interested in you he would not have asked you such a rude question. If he like you then he would of made it obvious by asking you out on a date ie; movie, dinner, etc. But friends with benefits? thats actually an insult. He is not the boyfriend type so I suggest you forget about him (even though there might be some feelings there) because if you get sexually involved with him then it'll only make matters worst because you'd get attached and he won't so you would only be hurting more.

I can see if you guys just had sex without him asking you than that would be a different story but he asked so that makes him interested in becoming only a sex friend. I have a friend with benefits but he didn't ask me, it just happened normally. But if my friend would of asked me straight up "want to become friends with benefits?" then that would of completely turned me off because it only shows me he's interested in only sex. I want to be the one wanting it not him wanting it more. Good luck!

Answer 3

it all boils down to what you are comfortable doing. don't put yourself in a position where he is the only one happy. you can't really do the friends+benefits things if you fall in love or become fond of someone easily. you have to look out for yourself and make sure that it's something that you can handle emotionally. good luck and just go with what feels right for you. listen to your mind don't let your heart overrule that. take care

Answer 4

i'm a sixteen 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old lady, and that i became of being FWB with this mate who fancies me, and that i went ballistic! i in my view think of its heading into risky waters. I recommend, a woman who sleeps with somebody she knows yet no longer in a courting is as we communicate called a ****, yet as quickly as she says they're FWB its effective. How try this artwork? and that i do no longer care in case you disagree with me, he sounds like he's utilising you. you're purely a toy to him, he can use you whilst he needs. i'm nonetheless a virgin (entire virgin, never even kissed a guy) so atm im questioning having intercourse must be something particular shouldn't it? no longer purely a rapid ingredient at 4am after which you go abode lower back. do no longer you admire your self adequate to nicely known what to do? Sorry if this sounds harsh, yet come on lady! Use your techniques power

Answer 5

Give him credit where credit is due, he has made it clear to you that the relationship will be friends with sexual benefits only and not to expect anything long term. If that is OK with you then go for it but don't expect it to develop into something more.

Answer 6

Yes be insulted. If he wanted to date you he would ask you out. You seem pretty sensible, so why would you want to be friends and sleep with him without more of a commitment? Leave him alone, who knows how many other people he could be sleeping with. You don't want that.

Answer 7

Give him the benefits of doubts... maybe he is just the forward looking type of a man. If you feel, he is the man for you, then give
him a chance and let him explain further the "just friends" topic...

Answer 8

i would think of it as an insult if he wants to be in a realationship but not with u i guess or he would have said some thing besides friends wit benifits he just wants to get lade so inless thats all u want i wouldnt give up any thing to him

Answer 9

Be straight up: Ask him specifically what he wants of you. A sex buddy is one thing, a broken heart is another. I'm not saying to smother him into interrogation. I'm just saying you should make it a point to find out where he would like things to go.

Answer 10

Take is slow. Feel him out. Ask questions. Talk a lot and you'll know what's right. Follow your heart. It will lead you in the right direction.