Okay, I met this guy through activities at school about 3 months ago. First I was like oh he is shy and cute. Well, someone told him that I liked him, which wasn't the case, and then he asked me for my number and to go to a movie. I told him that was fine, it was just during the day..no harm right? At this point I had only known him 2 weeks. That night he left me a note and roses all over my car at my job. I was a little weirded out because the note said how he wanted to be in a relationship and I was so beautiful and wonderful etc. when he did not know anything about me. Well I told him I was "too busy" with school to be in a relationship. Well, he still constantly asks me to do stuff and tells me we need to get "closer" when I obviously don't want anything in return. He comes up to my job often and my co-workers said he will just stare at me (I have only noticed once or twice). I just do not feel comfortable around him.
2006-11-27 16:47:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I appreciate a guy being sweet and romantic, but he was moving way too fast for me. Christmas break is coming up and he has asked me to hang out soon, what should I say without hurting his feelings?? I have a hard time telling guys no to a "date" because I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I don't feel good around him..please help! Thanks for any advice! :)
2006-11-27 16:48:42 · update #1
Do y'all think his behavior is odd?
2006-11-27 16:51:15 · update #2
I really do not want to be friends with him but rather aquaintances because friends "hang out" and I do not want to go anywhere with him. He makes me uneasy. :(
2006-11-27 16:57:43 · update #3
Honey, I think you're going to have to be at least part-way honest.
Can you tell him you think he's a nice guy, but you made a promise to yourself to not allow distractions to interfere with school & study, and that you just have to stick with that to fulfil your dreams?
The other issue is a big one, although you may not realize it. If you don't feel good around this guy, then don't BE around him - that's what instincts are for - they are an early warning system. Pay attention to your instincts & do your best to distance yourself.
Good luck!
2006-11-27 16:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by belmyst 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a case of the guy getting clingy. He probably has really good intentions but from the outside it seems like he's a stalker. But really I bet he's a pretty fragile guy inside you just need to let him down softly I would tell him up front face to face, let him know what is exactly wrong with him, be it that his clingyness is scaring you, and the point is that you are just not attracted to him because he is not your type. Tell him you made a mistake giving him your phone number and that you think it confused him about what your intentions are, and your sorry for the confusion, and you wish him the best. And of course tell him goodbye. That should sink things in for him.
2006-11-28 00:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First,,tell him that if he ever goes to your job again,,you will not speak to him at all.You have already told him that you are too busy with school to be in a relationship so now he is overstepping the boundries,,,tell him so.He is being too pushy.Tell him that you can be friends only & if he cant except that or the fact that you are busy,,then get rude & tell him to buzz off.Then dont speak to him anymore,,at all.If he is still persistant,,tell him that you will get an order of protection to keep him away from you.Always follow your instincts,,if you are not comfortable,,get away from him.Never let anyone talk you into anything ever.Dont let him play the pity card either.The man that you should settle with someday should feel comfortable when you are together.
2006-11-28 00:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to be extremely honest with him... Tell him exactly what you told us here..
Tell him you just wanted at first to hang out and not "definately" not a relationship further... Tell him you are not attracted to him in the same way... And be sure and tell him you do not want him to visit you at work under any circumstances... Tell him his current actions make you feel uneasy.. and you just prefer to be aquaintances, nothing more... If he is upset about it and does weird stuff, then you should really make an effort to end everything... If he understands, you can just have another friend added to your list... Goodluck!
2006-11-28 00:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by Mintee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what's the question? How to make him stop? Tell him straight out. If he doesn't, start talking to parents, counselors, teachers, etc. Lay the groundwork for a case that proves you weren't leading him on. Remember, most boys (12-40+) are idiots about relationships and "learned" what they know from movies or books. It takes a LONG time to get past the fantasies and get real.
2006-11-28 00:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Philo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want to hurt his feelings (and still might be interested? if not, same answer) you need to confront him about it. But don't just run up on him yelling and making a scene. Be mature about it. Try to find some time when you can talk to him one-on-one or at least where it's not too crowded. If other people can hear what goes on he might become embarrassed and upset. Anyway, just let him now how you're feeling. That you think it's moving a little too fast and just want to get to know him (or that you don't)
2006-11-28 00:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by Bob 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's best to be direct with these things. I'm not saying tell him you don't like him, or think he's weird. But tell him you don't think of him like that, you don't have the same feelings for him. Just tell him, but nicely, this is not going to ever work. Friends would be ok, but nothing more...and if he can't be just friends, and not a clingy friend, then you two can't talk at all. But do it sooner rather than later...the more he entertains the idea that you two have something, the stronger the feelings will be and the worse it will be for him, and for you. I hope this helps.
2006-11-28 00:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by kayth1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a stalker to me. Talk to your parents, get some adults involved, if need be, get the police involved. Ask teachers, boss, neighbors to be on the lookout and confront him if he is just hanging around. You can't be too careful these days and the small stuff can rapidly lead to bigger, scarier, weirder.
I don't mean to scare you, but you need to nip this in the bud NOW before it gets worse.
Tell him point blank you are not interested in a relationship with HIM and that you don't want him following you around anymore. Do this with an adult.
2006-11-28 00:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by Texanborn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a talk with him. Tell him that you are just not ready too move soo fast. Tell him you just want to be Friends and see if your friendship grows. if that doesn't work and he still bothers you . Tell him how you feel around him and that you don't want him looking at you in that way. if you don't talk he wont know!!!Good luck. Hope things work out.
2006-11-28 00:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try telling him how you really feel. The truth is the best thing. Everyone is always afraid of how they might make someone else feel, but think about how he is making you feel: guilty, unsure, and maybe even kinda scared. You should just say "this is how you make me feel... how can we possibly build a relationship on that."
The truth is always best.
2006-11-28 00:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋