im finally getting married, do i deserve a wedding he says no?

Question

i have been with my fiance for eight years and we are finallygetting married. i want to have a wedding with our families there. and he says whats the point and that we can not afford one but ifeel that we have two kids together and i have been very patient with him asking never pushing the issue. i've never realy asked for anything else and feel that i have earned a wedding and that he should relize this and not withdraw all together when the subject comes up. any indeas a fresh input could be very helpful

Answer 1

yes you do. you also deserve someone who is wanting to celebrate your wedding with you. I dont think he is that person. Just becaue you have kids together doesn't mean you should be together. You are better than that- every girl needs her wedding day.

Answer 2

If I understand it right, you are getting married regardless, but are asking if you deserve the big wedding event. Absolutely. If money is the issue, it can be done on a shoestring budget. There are several wonderful budgeting books that you can find at any bookstore. When I got married, we had a lovely wedding with over 100 guests for $6000 including the reception costs. Just a tip - generally a morning wedding with a lunch reception is cheaper than an evening with dinner. By the way, the point of the wedding is for the family to acknowledge your binding together and to celebrate it with you. It is one of the most special days in a girls life, no matter how long you've been together. Enjoy it!

Answer 3

Deserve a wedding ceremony. You pumped out 2 youngsters for him and stood by him for 8 years and damnit the least he can do is provide u a wedding ceremony. you could actual have a small non expensive wedding ceremony. If money is a situation then all u favor is a gown, preacher, a outdoor with ur love ones and get married. truly all that concerns is that ur ultimately getting married yet i do see the position ur coming from with desiring a wedding ceremony. For the reception u could have a bbq or all of us brings foodstuff and chow down at someones abode and dance the evening away. Doesnt should be glamourous yet yet rememberable for the both actually one of you embarking on a adventure you've ur loved ones witness. attempt the web for low fee wedding ceremony ideas. wish each and every thing works out for you. And congrats on ur engagement!

Answer 4

He needs to understand that a wedding is something many women dream about, and that you should not have to miss out on it if it is what you really want. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wishing you had a wedding! You also need to tell him that it is important for you to have your friends and family with you on your special day. You can have a wedding without spending too much money. You just need to cut back on some of the details. You can have a very casual wedding. Make sure you buy a nice dress, however. A bride needs to feel special in the way she looks, and know that she looks like a bride!

Edit: Lily's answer is just plain rude! Yes, we all know what the definition of a bastard is. It is not a word that has any place in today's world.

Answer 5

Can you afford one? Do you think it would be possible to have one and be financially okay? Maybe he is not meaning it in a negative way. If he does want to get married do it in front of the judge and talk to him about saving up to have one later on down the road when it will be comfortable in your financial situation.

But first you need to evauluate your situation. Is he worth this? Is it real love on both persons? Cause they last thing you want is to be in a marriage that isn't solid.

TALK if he backs away tell him that your trying to make something happen thats very important to you and you will work at it together and that he shouldn't just write off how you feel if it means so much to you. Its not how a future husband should act toward his future wife.
Hope that helps.

Answer 6

I am sorry sweeting, but I think you are setting yourself up for another MAJOR disappointment. If you never push an issue, you never get what you want and you will beat yourself up later for being a doormat. And I am curious. How do you earn a wedding? It should be a mutual decision based on love and trust and a time when you want your families together to share and celebrate your happiness. You don't sound happy. Your fiance sounds selfish and content with things the way they are.

Answer 7

It seems to me that a woman's wedding is the one day that she dreams about her entire life (at least for most women, and it sounds like you too....). If you have expressed your desire for a wedding with your family and friends and he still refuses to even consider the notion, perhaps you should examine how much he really cares about you.

I understand that money may be an issue, but there are ways to have an inexpensive get-together with your close family and friends that is still very special.

Answer 8

Find a nice small place that rents for little, check a menu fromt he local grocery store deli, and keep a small list of friends and family. When spouse and I renewed vows, the chapel cost $150 - in a museum, that usually costs less. The food cost about $100- we prepared part of it ourselves. Plates, napkins, tableware - party store- under $30. Table rental was $135 and came with table clothes. Clothing for participants - I went to a resale bridal, got myself and eldest podling dresses for $95, mine altered for $15. Spouse and younger podlings pants and shirts- under $50, and I made their vests.

$575- with 30 invited guests and lots of food left over. Add in trip fees and camping fees (we went to the mountains) for 11 people, and it runs about a total of $1000 - andf that was camping for over a week plus food.

Run together a package under $1000, run it past him again. Even better if you can already have the money saved.

(We didn't have a wedding outside the court house the first time, so 11 years later we did - and no regrets - money well spent - and we're not rich folks either)

If he still balks at it, time to ask why - besides what he's already said.

Good luck.

Answer 9

why doesn't he want to get married at all? You're saying that you're finally getting married but the groom you're going to get married with doesn't like the idea... so logically, there's no wedding in the first place, right?

Maybe you should think twice about getting married with him. If he loves you then he wouldn't have a problem being married to you.

Besides, money is not even a problem. You can get married even if you don't even spend half a dime!

Answer 10

If you don't have the money for it, then do something small...there is no reason to get more debt by having the 60k wedding that you know you can't have. Save up 5 or 10k and cater it yourself. Make a wedding cake and only invite 50 people or so...keep things small.