What should I have done?

Question

My moms boyfriend is driving me mad! My mom can't come over to visit me because if my daughter gives Richard a cold she will never hear the end of it. Today I needed someone to take me to my car. I called early and left a message and they didn't even bother! Mom informed me Richard would be out until mid-night, picking up sticks around the yard.
Well, I am quite pissed indeed. My whole big thing is my car broke down Thanks-Given Day. I put it in the shop so I could get the faulty starter replaced. I have been without a car for five days. My daughter is sick and I was out of milk juice etc etc. So, she lives down the road and she couldn't be bothered to help her sick grand baby or daughter? Mom doesn't work. I just feel like she should be there for the family. I am a full time college student and a single mom. What the hell are mothers for if all there good for is clinging to some nurotic man. Anyways I blew up..I told her christianity didn't stem from nurosis. What should I have done?

I should make it even clearer,I rarely ask mother for anything! I am a full time college student and I take college and parenting very seriously; I keep my house immaculent etc etc.
This is why my mother is soo shameful to me because on the rare occasion I ask, she should be there.
In my opinion a mother is a role that should be taken to the grave. One does not just STOP being a mother! That is ridiculous.
My mother does suffer from low-self esteem . Counsling would be good, if we could afford that.

Answer 1

As a person who once stupodly clung to a neurotic man, I look back & think of how stupid it was. But I see it was from a low self esteem & lack of love for myself. I was no good to my family until I figured that out & resolved it. By then I'd lost my family. People tried to point it out & I was too wrapped up in my poor me syndrome to see it. I wish I'd really listened.

That said, I encourage you to talk to your mother alone. Tell her how you feel. Encourage her to attend counseling with you to repair the relationship. While we cannot count on family to be there every time we need help & must at some point be self sufficient, it's a need to have family there to be encouraging & help each other. So much of crime, poverty & other issues stem from broken families. The only way to break a cycle is to replace it with a healthy path.

Answer 2

It's true that your predicament should, at the very least, stir some sort of maternal instincts in your mom. Unfortunatley, not all mothers want to be "mom" forever. My mom is the same way. I have no solution for you, but I can certainly empathize.
Its ok to get angry, and to let the person who your are angry at know that you are. If your situation is that you depend heavily on your mom, then just try to not say anything that will burn your bridge to her.
At the same time, you should (if not already) try to go out of your way for her when you can, even if it's to pick up something small that you think she might need while you are out. Make time to hang out with her and love her despite that man, dont hate her because of him. She may just stay with him for fear of not having anyone at all.
I hope the advice helps. If it doesn't, then try to contact some helpful churches or community organizations. They can be quite helpful and all you have to do is ask.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

I have come soooo very close to saying things like you have. My Mom has been that way since I was a kid. You have it way harder than I do now though because you have no-one else to fall back on. I just keep a distance from my mother now. I am over compensating with my own kids for her lack of mothering and running myself ragged for my own. I don't know what to tell you but I don't think what you did was wrong. Maybe she'll take a good hard look at herself and admit she is wrong. I hope so.
Good luck.

Answer 4

I don't know, did you get alone with your mom before the guy came into her life? I probably would have blown up too. Her grandchild and child should come first.

Answer 5

Throw a Rum party.