What should I write her?

Question

OK here is the situ, I meet this girl at at my group, we click ,go out , kiss and have a great night, she is super interested. We agree to meet on Sunday;however, on Saturday, she text me and joins me late night at a club with her friend. The friend seems to have great influence on her and does not like me, the 2 separate themselves from my group, not a big deal, we kiss goodnight and go home. On Sunday she cancels 2 hours before our date with a lame text that someone needs her ( some bs) , anyways, i text her that she is disrespecting me and if there is going to be a next time, she should keep her commitment, i never hear back from her.
I kinda feel i lost her;however, i wanna email her and tell her that she should still go out with my group, since I know she likes doing that without being pressured to be with me and just be a friend,I wanna start with something " I am mot sure what changed your mind as the person i met on Thursday was s o kind and caring";however, ..............

Answer 1

If you must write her a letter again then write what is in your heart BUT keep it short, simple and to the point. Don't appear to be a stalker or overly obsessed with her.
It seems that you tried to take the "hard-line" with her and it didn't work so now you are settling for what scraps you can gather.

It doesn't seem that you know her well enough to judge if she really had some committment or not. AND perhaps she doesn't know you well enough to decide if she wants to date you or not. Take it slowly.. don't pressure her. I'm willing to bet that if you don't write another letter it will go further than if you do. People always want what they can't have. I'm sure you will run into her again and you can simply be nice and cordial to her and let her take it from there.
Good luck... all is not lost.. you simply need to play it cool and be patient.

Answer 2

In all candor, I don't think your remarks about "was so kind and caring" should be included. It pretty much says you don't see her as kind and caring now, which isn't going to make her feel comfortable returning to the group.

I think you ought to just send a quick e.mail like, "Jen, I just wanted to write and tell you that I know things got awkward with us, but I wanted you to know that I hope you don't let that come between being one of the friends in the group. Why not just come back to the group, and we can decide to be friends like before. Stuff like what happened with us happens, so let's just forget about it and go back to how things were before."

I suppose there's the chance her reason to cancel may have actually been legitimate in her eyes, and maybe your making the stink about her being "disrespectful" didn't sit well with her. It would have been one thing if you said something like, "I'm getting the feeling you don't see your date with me as all that important" (this would have expressed your feelings without using the words "disrespecting me" in your text). It would have been one thing for you to express that you didn't really like having the date cancelled two hours before. It would have been one thing if you had even just assumed her excuse may have possibly been legitimate in her eyes. If you use the term, "disrespecting me" to a girl or a woman it is going to make them dump you as quick as look at you because there's something about it that kind of implies you expect some level of respect from her that she's not comfortable with. I'm not saying people shouldn't respect each other. Its just that if you use terms like, "disrespecting me", it creates an impression that you want something beyond just two people respecting one another.

It also makes you come across as if you're over-sensitive about feeling you're being respected, which can make a girl or woman think you have issues. Maybe it wasn't a matter of her not having respect for you at all. Maybe she gave you credit for being able to understand her need to cancel. Your choice of those terms probably made her think you're a little "too much" and have issues.

It would have been one thing if this person is always cancelling. It is another if she cancelled the one time. Usually, friends understand the occasional cancellation. I think you over-reacted, took it all more seriously than it should have been taken, and made her realize you have a shorter fuse than she may want to deal with.

You may want to add to the e.mail something like: "Sorry I reacted the way I did. I had had a bad day. It was uncalled for."

Answer 3

perhaps you came on a little too strong with the whole Respect Me thing. you probably have scared her off. Maybe you should start by apologising to her because it wasn't called for. you could have said something a little softer or talked to her about it. I would really apologise to her first like "Sorry bout the other day it wasn't fair for me to say that. I really do want you to come out with group still.....

Answer 4

Why would you want to be interested in a girl who cannot think for herself and apparently is a liar too? Don't worry about it and if you want to give it one more go, simply ask, "I like you and think you are fun. Would you like to go to....(wherever) on a date with me? Please just say yes or no. Thanks." If it's yes, go on the date. If it's no, MOVE ON. And think about this... if she already annoys you now, it only gets worse the longer you're together. Do you want that aggravation?

Answer 5

if there is some reason you don't want to be with me just say so . i would like to remain your friend if you don't want anything more . . communication is a great thing if its used . . i really want to know you even if its just as friends . please let me know what is on your mind . have good day and am looking foreword to hearing from you soon .

Answer 6

u f-ucked up u gotta apologize thats all i can say, what were u thinkin its all about trust