I've been dating this guy for about a month now. He is older and more experienced than me. I know he's had at least 2 serious relationships. Should I ask about how many girls he's been with? I don't think I necessarily want a number, but my main concern is my health, and I can't some out and ask him if he has any STD's. I guess the question is, how do I ask that in a better way without accusing him of sleeping around?
2006-11-27 15:26:43 · 18 answers · asked by juliana f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT
2006-11-27 15:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by JULIA R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you can come right out and ask him if he has any STDs. If you plan on having sex with him, it's a conversation you have to have. And he should ask you the same thing. Then you can make a date together to go to the clinic, just to be safe. No biggie.
(Don't ask him his number. Doesn't really mean a thing. You can sleep around for years and stay perfectly clean, and you can have sex one time and end up with a bummer of a virus.)
2006-11-27 23:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by some chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is serious, you should be able to discuss this with him. If you are too afraid to talk to him about STD's than you should not be having sex. You don't even need to ask him how many girls he has been with, you can ask him if he would go to the clinic with you and both of you get checked for STD's, this way you share it and neither of you feel accused.
2006-11-27 23:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't come out and ask him if he has any STDs, maybe you shouldn't sleep with him. Personally, as a former Sailor, I'd be a lot more understanding if my girl said she just wanted to know that I was clean than if she asked me about who all I've slept with.
Just say someting like "I know you're more experienced than me, and that doesn't really matter, but I want to be sure you don't have any STDs." Just be aware, that once he proves to you that he does not have STDs, he may be expecting something...
2006-11-27 23:34:44 · answer #4 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, don't ask how many, you probably wouldn't like the answer, but you do have every right to ask him to get a blood test and in today's world that's exactly what I would do. No test no fooling around. If he really likes you and wants your relationship to move to the next level he won't have a problem with it, because it really doesn't matter how many, it only takes one infected person. Be safe for yourself.
2006-11-27 23:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try finding out if he's interested in anything more serious.... before jumping the gun (so to speak) --- if he wants something deeper then ask about his past relationships and what caused them to end. You may not want to be involved with someone who's been around the block too many times... I refused to get involved with this one guy who'd fathered more than 5 kids (and he'd never been married)
2006-11-27 23:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask when the last time he was tested for anything. Or if he hadn't had sex for a long time before he met you then he would know if he was clean or not. Hey, suggest you both be tested to be safe, tell him that you don't know where he has been, then tell him he doesn't know where you have been either. Make it sound like he should know the same info about you as u want to know about him.
2006-11-27 23:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that you would be able to talk about STD's with someone you were at a level of sleeping with. He is probably going to say whatever he thinks you want to hear anyway. Men are pigs. Hey try this, admit that YOU have an STD and see if it bothers him. If not then......
2006-11-27 23:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by badBrad97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well with me i always get a number before i spread my legs. the number he gives you is the number of chances he has had to get an std. you dont need names or any other detail just a number. and you are doing the right thing worring about you you are the only one watching out for you. id even see if he would be willing to get tested both of you so your not looking like your afraid he has something. but just say that its time for your yearly check up and youd be alittle more comfortable if he got tested and stuff as well. and if he isnt willing to do this for you he isnt worth laying down for
2006-11-27 23:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could ask if he used protection in his past relationships? And ask him to do so now. Of course, he might ask the same of you. I think today it's a very fair question and request. You're a smart cookie for even thinking of this. Most people ask after the fact! godblessya!
2006-11-27 23:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its very smart to be concerned about STD's....the last thing you want to do is get a call from your doctor saying they are very sorry but you have tested positive for HIV..then what?? Imagine how you would feel if that happened?? I bet all you would think is " I wish i just got tested BEFORE i had sex, now it doesnt matter what he thinks of me...etc etc etc....." please be careful and dont even WORRY about what ANYONE thinks.....good luck
2006-11-27 23:32:37 · answer #11 · answered by thatgirluknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋