I met my boyfriend in dallas 10 years ago, and we moved to OKC so he could go to med-school, it tore us apart and it has wrecked my heart. Hurt so bad when we ended it that I never wanted to see him again. Now 10 years later, I just want to know if he's okay, anyone else OUT THERE WONDERING if he/she is okay and how do you deal with the hurt? PS - my avatar looks like him... ;(
2006-11-27 15:16:46 · 8 answers · asked by happy g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I CAN'T CHOOSE AN ANSWER ON THIS - EVERYONE MADE GOOD COMMENTS - THANKS FOR EVERYONE BEING HONEST WITH THEIR OPINIONS, I'LL LET THE MASSES DECIDE.
2006-11-29 14:50:55 · update #1
It may always hurt a little, but you move on and have a life. I'm worried about you because why are you so obsessed with a guy from ten years ago you made him your avatar. I think you're avoiding the future by staying fixated on the past.
2006-11-27 15:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think many of us wonder those things. But, I've heard of too many people where they do get in touch again and it really ruins what their life has become and the good things that have resulted from the breakup. You'll always wonder - but is it best to find out? I think not. If you even get close to this idea - you could be overcome with thoughts and memories that are good and not remembering all of the reasons why you broke up that were really negative. In hindsight, we see our past loves as someone ideal, a healer for our pain, the only one who really understands and cares, something we miss, something wonderful - but the reality is not what you are remembering. Sometimes, remembering the past as something so wonderful is a way of psychologically escaping from current stresses, pressures and life challenges. Sometimes the hurt is deceptive in that - if you were together again - it would never be the same and it would not be what you think it would be. I really blew it once because I did this web search for a name and actually came up with some current information about a person and it was like - my heart almost stopped and I couldn't stop thinking about trying to make that connection - but no - I'll resist that temptation knowing that whatever challenges I'm facing in life right now will only be made worse, that he as a person has probably not changed all that much and the reasons why we broke up probably still exist. I'll be a happier, more content person for it and the current relationships in my life will be more solid and positive. Why ruin what my life has become because of an idealized memory of a relationship that doesn't exist? I mean, you read stories in magazines of "lost loves" who found each other like 15 or 20 years later and it's like okay - how often does that really happen and did they do a follow up article on if those reunions lasted or if they actually ended up divorced anyway? Come on - you wouldn't want to ruin what good has come his way in his life either. If you really love him - let him live his life - without you.
2006-11-27 23:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy letting go but remember, the person you knew 10 years ago may not necessarily be the same person you would want to see again. Also, even if that person is the same, how do you know if her does not have a new love in his life? Would you be so selfish and ruin that for him? I know it is not easy when you TRULY loved someone but you MUST let go (I'm telling you from experience). I thought about "my person" and she is doing now and was tempted to look for her to find out how she is doing but I knew deep inside that would not be right, it might create problems so I never did. Instead, I pray that she is happy and has found a man to take very good care of her and for her to have a wonderful life.
If you MUST and you are NOT committed to anyone, you could hire a PI to find out for you BUT remember, even if he still single and not in a relationship there is NO guarantee he might want to see you again. Don't let this become an obsession, concentrate on your "nice memories" and eventually let go. If you want, there IS another man for you out there but unless you let go of the past, you will NEVER be able to be happy with another person.
j
2006-11-27 23:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well after all this time I'm sure he may still think of you from time to time. Maybe you could find a way to get in touch with him to see how he is look him up and give him acall what could it hurt.
2006-11-27 23:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by misti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the time.
2006-11-27 23:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna have to put it behind you. Look at it this way: Would he be doing the same thing as you or has he moved on with his life?
2006-11-27 23:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by Reo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder all the time about past loves. I wonder "what might have been?" It is awful, but I pray for them that God protects them and keep them safe.
2006-11-27 23:20:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
idk but ever since i broke up w/ my girlfriend of 2 years all i want to do is talk to her even though i know i cant go back out w/ her because of what she did but i just wish i could go back to her w/out feeling like **** for going back
i just wish we could talk still and go back to being happy, idk what to do either
2006-11-28 00:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by 63godtoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋