Help!! My daughter wants to know where babies come from?

Question

My daughter is nine, should I have the sex talk yet or wait? How do I tell her?

Answer 1

The rule is, if they ask, you answer.

Answer 2

i have an 8 year old so i feel your pain! I'm lucky though because my daughter is an animal lover. it's made the whole "where do babies come from" question so much easier for me because it's not really just a man/women thing to her, it's on a higher level-like breading. for her it was just something that a female and male do to make a baby. No gory details or anything like that. as her parent you have to judge whether or not she's ready for the full monty or just some small tidbits to get her by. but like the others said, she's learning a lot at school-way more than you think, so if you don't buck up and start talking she'll get some really detailed stuff from school and take it as gospel if you don't get to her first. And then there's the internet. She'll get curious and start looking words up that she's heard (yeah, been there done that with the 8 year old!). So you really shouldn't sit back and wait to talk. I think that taking away the whole "this is what a man and women do when they love each other" is probably key, show her that many animals (and plants!) get together to make offspring. It turns it from gross into something natural and maybe something that she can understand better. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

You know your child better than anyone else if you feel that she is mature enough then tell her. If you don't she may find out on her own from someone else and that may be really scary for her! I would be honest with her and maybe get her a book that talks about the many changes that she may face in the next few years. Explain to her about puberty. I wouldn't go super into depth but I would surely be honest and let her ask the questions. Give her a little to satisfy her and see where it leads. That way you are overwhelming her if she just wanted a simple answer and maybe not the whole health lecture this young!

Answer 4

i started talking to my daughter when she was very young (like 5). i started very simply and have added more detail as she's gotten older. consider getting a book that doesn't go into more detail than you both can handle. at this age, she should at least be informed about the basics of puberty. She may have friends who have begun the first stages (little budding breasts that you'd need a microscope to see). Trust me, she notices & wants to know where hers are. Have the sex talk. If not, her curiousity is already peaked & she'll seek out the info for other (unreliable) sources. You telling her gives you a chance to frame the conversation according to your values & beliefs. Find a website,a book, a video. Preview the info first to make sure it says what you want her to know & jump in! It's not so bad. I rather my daughter come to me w/her crazy questions so I can give her the straight story. Oh, remember to tell her that these discussions are for home only!! You don't want her sharing her newly acquired info with her classmates.

Answer 5

I also have a 9 year old and she is not too young to start explaining reproduction to her. I would avoid the BIG TALK, and have lots of little talks - information given gradually.

For some children being told that babies grow inside of Mommies, is enough to start with.

Do you have friends who have any animals? Puppies and kittens are a great way to start explaining things to children. For example if the puppies have a Golden Lab mother and a German Shepherd father, then you can explain that the pups have traits from both parents, just like she has her father's eyes / ears/ chin / height. It is a great opportunity for her to see how baby animals are fed by their mother and how she cares for them.

Don't talk down to her, use words like genes, gestation, reproduction, fertility etc.

We have chickens, ducks and goats here at home and my 9 year old daughter was overheard telling one of her friends that "See that rooster over there mating with that hen - well, just because he wants to mate, doesn't mean that he loves her, he just wants sex!" I'm not sure that the other mother was real thrilled about the information, but my kid has grown up knowing about animals being in heat and being fertile, taking the goats to the "billy" to be bred and how long it takes before the kids are born. Make sexuality and reproduction something that is easy for you to talk about, because if she does not get the info from you, she will hear it from her friends who may not know a whole lot more than she does!

Answer 6

It is definately time to start talking with her. Girls begin their period much earlier than they used to. I've worked with children for many years and it isn't uncommon for a ten year old to have her first. You probably don't want her to begin her cycles without knowing what it means.

Having said that, there IS such a thing as age-appropriate information. A nine year old can handle the appropriate scientific words: "sperm" "egg" "penis" vagina." A nine year old can also handle the basic mechanics of sex. But you will have to be careful to make sure your daughter understands that this is a conversation between a parent and a child. And that she should probably not pass on this information to her friends.

The most important things:

--Stress to her that sex is something that happens between two people who love each other.
--ESPECIALLY make sure she knows that this is not something that you feel uncomfortable talking about. And that you are willing to answer her questions and listen to her thoughts. Even if you are nervous about talking to her about sex, don't let her know this. You don't want her hesitant to talk to you when other issues arrise. And if she senses you are uncomfortable, she won't use you as her primary resource for information.

Best wishes.

Answer 7

Yes, you should tell her what she wants to know. Keep in mind, what she wants to know might not be as scary as you think. Some kids just want to know that babies come from tummies. Some want to know how they got in there. Let her ask the questions, and you answer them. Make sure you use proper terminology. You need to let her know that she can be comfortable coming to you with any questions of a sexual nature. She doesn't need to be learning misinformation elsewhere.

Answer 8

My daughter is 11 now and yes I think it was about 8/9 the questions started.
I hired some books from the library, they have a whole range for different age groups, with pictures and facts.
I found it was the best way to go ....
If she is asking direct questions, just give the answer to the question that is asked. But if she wants the full rundown , try the library.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 9

Theres a book called Mommy Laid an Egg where it shows how babies are made but with out those long words and is full of easy to read words and pictures. I read that book when i was 8 then i understood how they were made without knowing the names =D

Answer 10

Nine years old is old enough to give her the basic talk. She's going to hear it on the playground within a year (if she hasn't already), so it's better that she hears it from you first.

If you are uncomfortable with all the concepts, start with just the sperm and the egg, and then tell her the rest only if she asks how the sperm gets in there....

Answer 11

Have the talk with her. If she is asking, it's time to be truthful with her. You can soft shoe it, when a man and a woman love each other, there is so much love that it spills over and becomes a baby...the baby grows in mom's belly.. or you can just give her the cold hard facts.