Hey moms have you ever?

Question

has your precious little 4 year old girl ever manipulated you with tears, and you knew it and tried to stand your ground but it was oh, so hard?

I know without out a doubt if I give in she will instantly be A ok,... right? I am such a whimp, but...?

Hey Liandrew00 I guess people should be such a ***** when they answer your questions?

Answer 1

I really can't tell sometimes if my three year old's heart is truly breaking, or if she's fudging me until I've given in. I'm a very stick-to-my-guns mom, my husband craters at the first pout, but I've had her instantly perk up when I give in, and I've had her continue to sob when I give in. Most of the time, my 'no' sticks, but when she starts that gasping for breath, hiccup sobbing, I sometimes reconsider, especially if it goes on and on and she is inconsolable. It's little things though, like gum, watching a movie that runs slightly later than her bedtime, but the big one, I bought dog food for a dog we have that only she can see. She just sobbed because her dog was going to starve.
I think our kids need us to give in sometimes, it's different if they are wanting a car you are gonna have to mortgage your house for, but small things show them we are flexible and it gives us a chance to teach compromise to them. I think if we set a firm "No" and never allow any room for pleading a case, when they are teenagers, they will not even bother to ask, they will just "do" because we're not flexible. That's what I'm going with anyway...

Answer 2

I have a four year old. She tries it but been there done that. This must be your first. They look at you with those big eyes all wet with tears and your heart breaks and you ask yourself what am I doing to my precious baby. Wrong. Stand your ground. Been through that with my oldest and she started not to listen because she knew that she wasn't going to get into trouble. stand your ground now. it will be easier in the long run.

Answer 3

Am not a mom,but I did get emotional blackmail like the one you are describing..try harder as the older she will get the more she difficult she will be and trying to make her see the reason will be almost impossible,beleive I know by experience,if she knows that you will give her al that she wants all the time she will expect to get all that she wants good or bad.There is no harm just to ignore the tears from time to time or tell her to get what she wants she has to do something in return.

Answer 4

Giving in to a child just sets you up for big problems later on down the road. You run the risk of raising a spoiled, manipulative and insecure adult. Don't give in and don't think of yourself as a wimp. Be strong because it will pay off and you cannot reverse damage that is already done. Children need rules, structure and consistency because they cannot predict the next day, or week etc. They need you to guide them. Do you want her to turn out like a wimp? Read some books on raising children. That will help.

Answer 5

My son does this. The more you give in the more it happens. The crying has almost stopped but I still buy him stupid stuff at the store to prevent a power struggle in front of people.

I've bought him a pack of pepperonis and dog treats and I don't even own a dog.

My advice is to curb the behavior asap.

Answer 6

Well, my son does this as well. If your going to a store (wal-mart) and you know that she's going to want a toy, bring one of her favs w/ you into the store. If she starts the crying just paste that smile on, keep telling her no and when you get home send her to her room. It might take awhile to curb her behavoir, but it will will. I know it's hard, but it will pay off in the end for your sanity. Good Luck!

Answer 7

When she does this put her in time out and leave the room. Stay strong otherwise she will manipulate you everytime something doesn't go her way, ecspecially in public.

Answer 8

if my 4 y/o tries the tears i ignore her or tell her to go into her room and think about what she is doing for a few minutes...

Answer 9

Who's the parent ?