My gf hasn't told me she loves me but I've told her once. She says she isn't ready to say that yet. We've had sex and she has told me she has thought about us down the road (ie. kids and marriage)...she's 26 by the way. I know she was hurt in a previous relationship but it wasn't a very long lasting one. How can someone think about marriage and kids with someone whom they can't say they love? Do you think its b/c she's scared of getting hurt again?
2006-11-27 13:54:17 · 13 answers · asked by si09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that's an absolute possibility. i've been in a meaningless crappy relationship that lasted 4 months and I have issues trusting guys with my heart. it's hard. i dream of marriage. but fear is gonna hold me back. also it's really easy to get lost in a dreamed up future....but when reality hits ya it can leave you a bit confussed and get you wondering "is this what i really want?"
~hope I could help, and good luck!
2006-11-27 13:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by santaz_lil_slacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost every woman of any age thinks about what marriage and kids would be like with the guy she's seeing. Or a guy she just looks at and thinks is cute. It doesn't mean a thing, except that she's still with you and therefore hasn't decided she can't picture it working out!
She is probably not actually ready to commit and to her, saying she loves you is the thing that feels most like commitment to her. Just talking about possible futures isn't a commitment. She may not be really over the other relationship and needs time to grow into the one she has with you - and space, to discover who she is outside of a relationship! Give it to her, and you may just reveal to her that she does love you.
2006-11-27 13:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by zilmag 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably wanting to feel secure enough before she uses the L word. Some people use the word like whatever. Others take the word serious, which is good.
She is obviously feeling love if she is thinking long term.
Be patient with her. SHow her that you are a guy she can trust.
If you are consistant and honest and the relationship is going well, then eventully she will be able to use the L word.And when she uses it you will know that it means something.
2006-11-27 13:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she doesn't say it that doesn't meant that she doesnt love you. What about the people out there that say I love you but really dont mean it or show it? The word "love" requires action - meaning you also have to show it too. Maybe she's scared to say it because she's been heart in the past from people who she has said I love you to. If she's thinking about marriage and children, trust me she loves you. Just keep loving her and being there for her. She'll say it when she's ready. :-D
2006-11-27 13:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People marry and have kids all the time with people they don't love because they feel the societal pressure to do it by a certain age and don't want to be alone so they don't wait around for true love. Not saying this is your girlfriend's agenda but it's possible. Happens all the time.
2006-11-27 13:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly. honestly i have no real advice on this, me and my fiance are in a completley wonderful relationship and have told eachother that we loved eachother and ment it since almost the 3rd week of our relationship, i guess something might just click with some people faster than others, i remember before me and my fiance started saying "i love you" we said "i heart you" its a way to let the other person know how much you care but still give leway and its a cute way to flirt also. maybe you could try that. anyways good luck with your relationship. hope things get better.
2006-11-27 14:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by Bree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is thinking of you as possibly a long term relationship, just isn't ready to say she loves you yet. I don't see any contradiction here. Perhaps she needs to know there might be a future before she can really open her heart to you...
2006-11-27 14:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard for some people to say the words..but if she is talking marriage and kids..sounds like she does...so embrace it..it is only a type of fear to verbalize feelings...
2006-11-27 13:57:32 · answer #8 · answered by KT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most probably she is afraid of getting hurt, maybe she just isn't ready for that kind of commitment.
2006-11-27 13:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because shes thinking about marriage and kids juts not with you. you are her rebound man
2006-11-27 13:57:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋