I have two boys 11 months apart, how do you stop the fighting?

Question

I have a 3yr old (Afton), and a 4yr old (Cohen), they are 11 months apart and are very active boys! (ask my 8yr old daughter (Jude) they drive her crazy,lol) They seem to be hitting a phase where they literally beat the crap out of each other! I regulate what they see on tv, and we encourage kindness in the home. It just started about a month ago, my hubby wrestles with them sometimes (play wrestle in the living room floor), but all in fun, i dunno! But the funny thing is if someone was to pick on one of them, they will have both to deal with, so they stick up for each other, which is good. So is it normal, should I be concerned, what can I do? My daughter was so sweet! lol, boys are different! lol!

Answer 1

OMG ... you just gave me a flash-back ... lol.

My sons are 11 months apart in age too. In fact, they're the same age for 9 days.

The best advice I can offer is ... get used to it. lol ... I'm sorry, but this is what boys do (or so it seems). My sons fought over toys from the time they could sit up ... and like yours, it was ok for THEM to hit each other, but, look out if someone else hit their brother ... 'cause then they'd have them both to answer to.

I guess I can't say it'll never end, 'cause I was just commending my sons on how much they've matured over the past year (they just turned 17 & 18 in Sept.) in regards to thier fighting. They still like to tease and nit-pick at each other ... but the serious bouts that they used to have .... have dissapeared ... thank the lord.

When they used to fight ... I didn't jump in and pull them apart, I simply asked ( w/a very annoyed expression on my face) if *I* could join in. Hmmm ... they always stopped the fighting, and would never let me join in ... lol.

Answer 2

I am a mother of 6 kids..........let me tell you....this is NORMAL!!! It will not pass for a long time either. Sometimes I wonder if they do it to just drive me nuts!! But....let me explain what I have LEARNED the hard way.....I have the following ages:
18 yr girl
2-16 yr boys
13 yr girl
12 yr girl
9 month boy (adopted)
Girls are sooooo sweet from birth to 11...then they become DIFFICULT!!!
Boys are the rough and rowdy ones until about 14...then they calm down and are so easy.
So, the daughter you have, that you are comparing the boys to, will one day become mouthy and stressful.
And then, the boys that are rowdy and everywhere, will calm down and become mellow.
As for the fighting between each other, the trick I have learned over the years, is to let them work most of the arguing out on their own. If you try to intervine too much, the only thing that will come out of it will be your hair loss from pulling it out. It does not come from what they see on tv, or anything you are doing wrong, it is just normal sibling rivalry.
I dealt with the hitting by sitting in chairs facing each other, sitting on their hands. 15 to 20 minutes of this every time someone hit gets old, and they will quit. It takes patience and consistency. If it is one that hits, sit that child in a chair facing a wall, sitting on their hands. They are young enough for this to work. As my kids got older, I did sentences. I am against spanking my kids, so, this was the options I chose. It does work, but you cannot expect it to work after one time. Just keep doing it.
Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Oh man!! It is totally normal for them to fight!! I have 2 step sons (8 and 11), and a step daughter (10) and they fight constantly (all three, they nit pick at each other, and most of the time it turns into knock down drag out fights!)!! But like you said they fight like cats and dogs but they will stick up for each other if someone picks on one or the other. My big brother and I didn't stop fighting with each other until we were pretty well grown and out of our parents house. So expect it for a long time. And just know that they do love one another, no matter how they show it!

Answer 4

I have two boys 22 months apart. They are 18 and 16 now. They won't always hit each other. Our boys are best friends and they used to beat the crap out of each other with sticks, wiffle bats, fists or anything handy. It is stressful to see our babies beating each other, but apparently it is fairly normal guy stuff.

Answer 5

My oldest brothers are exactly 11 1/2 months apart. They are currently in their 40's, and still continue to not get along. Now, they're just more adult about it and don't beat the junk out of each other like they did until they were teens.

Answer 6

It is very normal. my two girls are very active and they jump on each other and no matter what I can't get them to stop unless I take away something. If it bothers you that much stop the play wrestling and certain tv shows. When they ask why tell them. When you think about it if one of them gets hurt and needs medical attention you and your husband would be look at. So be careful.

Answer 7

boys will be boys,it doesn't stop, i have nephews who are in their 20's and 30's,they don't beat each other up but do argue or call each other allsorts,but if anyone picked on any of them they would all stick up for each other.It is just a boy thing,i have 2 boys aged 11 and 8 and their always fighting or calling each other names.but be thankful you only have 1 girl, girls can be just as bad,I had 4sisters and 1 brother.

Answer 8

My grandsons are 19 months apart. They ae now 12 and 13. It isn't going to stop any time soon. Take a deep breath and be assured, from the perspective of a grandmother, time passes very quickly.

When they get to adolescence, it becomes more trading insults than punches, if that helps you any.

God Bless

Answer 9

It's normal. You don't need to be concerned at all. Boys naturally like to rough house. And at least they stick up for each other.

Answer 10

bless you mom and dad. I have twins that are 36. they went through the exact same phase as your children. to this day they still horse around but you will never find two boys closer together.