everything i do is apparently wrong.?

Question

okay i get it, im 16 not 18, but why am i treated like im 5 ? Im responsible and im working on getting a good job so i can support myself and i just keep getting ****.ted on. my parents never tryed to be real parents, until now, when they realize that someone elses parents were doingthe same thing. I do what im told and i help out around the house alot. But im always told anything i do isnt enough. what do i do ? my family refuses family counceling because they think were the "perfect family" which is bull.

Answer 1

Don't worry everyone's parents is like that. Just go with the flow until you can move out. Don't let them belittle you.

Answer 2

The best piece of advice that I can give you is one that was given to me: If the person/people with whom you're having problems won't go for counseling, go by yourself! You're obviously smart enough to know that you need some kind of assistance, and that's the first step. You might consider contacting a university about counseling for yourself; I don't know how they will deal with a minor coming alone, but at 16, it's entirely possible they will see you. At the very least, it will give you a way to vent your frustrations; with any luck at all, it will also give you some strategies on how to deal with things until such time as you can get out. I took that advice, and the only thing wrong with it was that I didn't take it SOONER - good luck!

Answer 3

trust me there is no such thing as a perfect family and if anyone tells you different then they are lying. Those teenage years are just something your going to have to deal with, and I know you dont like hearing it. Yes it sucks. All I can tell you is to bear with it, because youve dealt with it for 16 years, what is 2 (or 1 and some odd) years more. Once your 18 you can be outta there as fast as you wanna be. Just remember that being in the real world sucks major, trust me. Hang in there.

Answer 4

Well - you sound like you've pretty much got it together, and you've suffered some real ****...

You're pretty much in the situation I was in - you've got to just get through it for another couple of years, when you can move out and be yourself.

I know that sucks... but we can't control, or even necessarily even influence our parents. They pretty much own us until we're 18.

I know that's pretty much wrong - but unless you're willing to go to court to be declared independent, there's nothing that can be done.

Hang in there - it isn't that much longer.

And remember - that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

I know its a cliche - but I did it, and I think your smart enough and strong enough to do it.

IM or email me if you need help.

-dh

Answer 5

Hang in there as much as you can. I was in a similar situation myself- nothing was ever good for my Mom....and she made us out to be the perfect family infront of everyone-family, her co-workers, friends, etc. But inside, it wasn't- she was constantly yelling- mostly at myself and my dad. I would get almost all A's- a couple of B's, and it was never enough for her. Even the long list of cleaning she had me do every day- I'd do it, and there would be something wrong with something-always. My mom was all about control, one time she wouldn't let me go to my boyfriends- just to stop by to see his family on Christmas Eve- she told me if I took the car, she'd call the cops (since it was her car that I was paying her back). Just things like that... it was awful for me, because I always tried to please her and make her proud of me.

I'm now 24 yrs old, I have a 13 month old son- for his first b-day, she cried and made a big fuss because I was going to have 2 seperate b-day parties for my son... because my parents are divorced- it would be really uncomfortable to have the entire family there together.... she made it all about herself, not my son who it should have been about. I gave in, I said ok, we'll have one party- she was going to send the gift in the mail for him if I hadn't.... she also made a comment about how she just doesn't wanna be 'around' anymore. But once I said ok, it's one party, she came, didn't fuss, and was happy. It really hurt me, because I had no intentions of hurting her at all.

My husband says she will always be like this- you know, I really hope not... I hope one day she will come around and be comfortable enough to talk to me about anything, and to really love me... I long for her many times, and it makes me cry a lot... but what keeps me going, is I have a son who I want to give all my love to. I'm not going to be the way my mom was with me... in some ways she was a good Mom... but I know I will be different with my son.
So what I say for you to do, is keep on doing good things- do your best in school, try to go to college and do well if you can, and when you are stable enough to be on your own, then you can live on your own. I found so many freedoms by living by myself for a few years. I actually was able to be me for a change. It's a great feeling, but like I said, I will always and have always longed for my Mom to be there for me. She does stuff for me here and there... but it's still not where I'd like it to be. Another thing- my mom also refused counseling- when it came to their divorce, she said she didn't want to have anything to do with that... I still have no idea why they divorced 2 yrs ago. Only she knows.
Hang in there! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just try not to backfire and do bad things in retaliation against your parents... that's one thing with how parents act- it can make a person turn out pretty bad... but for myself, I wanted to be better- and a good person. I think it worked out for myself. And honestly, my son is the greatest thing that has happened to me :) So look forward to that someday, when you are fully ready... and know u have ppl to talk to in the mean time! ;)

Goodluck!