bipolar ?

Question

my mom is bipolar, she found out about 5 or 6 yrs ago so she is disabled and cannot work she is getting ssi but its not enough to run a house, im the only one working and im working 2 jobs to keep up with the bills but i feel like im being used , she babysits my lil girl and everything she does for me or my kid she has to throw it in my face and to her im the worst thing in the world im starting to get frustrated with her and her bipolar clicks i mean my friends call me stupid because i put up with it and she treats me like a 10 yr old she complains about everything , if i start dating someone ( i already am she dont know him though) its a big deal she doesnt want me to leave my kid to go out and she doesnt wanna babysit eaither therefore i cant go out i have a really close female friend and because im close to her she thinks my friend is a lesbian (im not gay) i wanna move out but i dont know what to do!!! im going crazy she is going to killme before im 30 help me please

i mean she calls me and harrases me and if i leave my house she calls me 15 times and asks me where are you and who are you with and where are you going and why are you not here and why this and that she calls me at work atleast 10 times in 8hrs

Answer 1

Wow I really feel sorry for both of you. Your mothers illness most likely exasperates in her a lot of fear, some may be of losing you and her grandchild, ending up alone broke unloved, lonely, vulnerable........unfortunately these fears are causing her to act out in ways more likely for these things to happen. Like self fulfilling prophecy.
You sound like you love your mother but she's really pulling the guilt strings. You are all living in a very emotional unhealthy atmosphere. Letting the bipolar one, call the shots is not a good idea. I realize mom has been the 'Authority' since the day you were born. She brought you into the world. You have now brought a child into the world. You owe your child and yourself a life and home without the emotional trauma.
First off bipolar is not doing these things it's moms manipulations. I mean you trust her to babysit. So sit down and make and honest list of your grievances also the things you are grateful for. Then set some time to talk with mom explain all to her, to give her a chance. Make it very clear what you are willing to tolerate and what is absolutely unacceptable. Let her know you love her and will never abondan her even if/when you and child move out.
If this seems overwhelming for you get help, ask somebody both of you are comfotable with(an aunt) Find out if this ISS will provide a counsilor or theorpist. Be kind, be firm and have a plan to leave if mom refuses to try. Do not allow the conversation to turn into either a blame game, pass the guilt or a yelling match. Keep on track regadless of any past doings of either of you. This is the situation now and this is what is giong to happen if these changes are not acted on. Me and my child are going to......if mom tries blaming or guilting. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Hi there, I've been suffering from bipolar for a long time, maybe years, but I only got a diagnosis about a week ago! Nobody else in my family has it, they all have recurrent depression instead. It's a relief to get the diagnosis in a way, because I know that it's the Bipolar causing my mood swings and not just ''me being crazy''. I've been started on a low dose of Zyprexa, I think my psychiatrist intends to add more medication in a couple of week's time. I think at the time he thought I was manic, because when he asked how I would rate my mood I said 'low side of normal' and then his eyebrows raised and he looked shocked and said 'you mean you get a lot higher than this?' and I went 'hell yeah!' and laughed, and that's when he put me on the Zyprexa. I'm a bit depressed at the minute though, and I can't manage to make myself leave the house, get dressed or get something to eat... Anyway, at the moment I'm not functioning well at all, but it's kind of a relief to know there are other bipolar people out there that are coping and living a normal life. I hope that will be me soon too. Maybe once I'm on the right medication. All the best. <3 x

Answer 3

I know where you are coming from. I am only 16 and my mom defiently acts bipolar. or maybe just plain ol crazy sometimes. She also has this "clicks". One moment she is FINE and the next moment WHOAAA. Shes crazy women. I would not subject my child to her behavior and I would move out and try to keep ur distance. I know that when I grow up my mother will have limited time wiht my children if she acts the way she does now still. Good luck girl I FEEL YA! =]]]

Answer 4

My mom is bipolar too. All I can tell you is try and get her some help, kick her to the curb, or just live with it. If she won't get counseling (or it doesn't help) maybe you should go, so you can learn how to deal with her. You know, you and/or your kid may be at risk, both genetically and because you live with her. So I say again get counseling

I joined the Army and moved 9000 miles away. That may not be an option for you, so you have to just look at your own situation.

Answer 5

Sounds like you are in a tough situation. It might be best to get some support and guidance from a specialist for yourself. I imagine at some point you will need to live more distantly from your mom but this may be difficult to do since you want to care for her. Perhaps a professional can help you identify what you want and want your mom needs and how you might best make both of these things happen. Sometimes relationships can be very toxic yet change is scary. Get some objective and supportive advice.

Answer 6

I understand how you may feel. I am bipolar myself, but I don't act like her. I take care of myself. It sounds like she needs to live on her own and get help. Is she on medication or talk to someone? Or both? If she isn't doing either, I wouldn't put up with her!!!
Do yourself a favor: save your own sanity, get your own place to live-like farther away!! Find a sitter to watch your kid!! Even a close friend you know to watch her. Your mom doesn't sound stable enough to care for your daughter anyway. Let your mom deal with her issues and live your own life. Don't give her your number so she can't harass you(you should change it) !! If she wants to talk to you, you can go visit HER!! (I doubt she'll go anywhere.) That's what I would do. And I wouldn't tell her anything about what you're doing. What you do with your life, isn't any of her business. She sounds very controlling. You don't need that. Good luck.

Answer 7

Bipolar is the new manic depression term. It doesn't mean two personalities or paranoia or schitzo. It just means they a depressed one day and on cloud nine the next. The person knows this yet they tend to play it to their advantage because most bi polars are attention hogs. If the attention isn't on them they become agitated or just mean. Only thing I can suggest is if you don't get out and live your life, your life isn't gonna be much of a life. Life moves fast sweetie, you better get your running shoes on , and get to getting!! Your mom had her life and now it seems that she is sucking your life from you, you have a child!! You better get with it before your mom focuses her attention on that baby. And then the real hell will begin!

Answer 8

I am a mother and I have bipolar I am usually depressed have been for as long as I can remember I also have anxiety where I am afraid to be away from my children which stems from having a child that past away so everything to me is scary I like to know my kids are ok at all times maybe she's afraid something's going to happen to you I have terrible visions that aren't real but they seem like it and I just want my kids safe with me maybe your mom is having anxiety or panic attacks like I get.

Answer 9

You need to move out and get a childcare provider that is not mentally ill, yes I know she is your mother but your child should not be left with her. Especially when you say she has a 'click'

Answer 10

sweet i have got you the bipolar site below. believe me it is very hard looking after someone but it will also be hard for your mam looking after your daughter, really with her bipolar i dont think she should be looking after your daughter. in your position i would get a place of my own & get a new minder for my child. good luck.