So my boyfriend is overseas. I thought we had a strong relationship! I'm not the kind of girl that jumps to conclusions. I just recently found out that he has been calling his ex while he's been in Iraq, and writing her letters, she just broke up with her boyfriend...I'm really don’t' think that I'm okay with this? And I'm not sure as to why he would be doing that. We write everyday, we email all the time, I send him packages out at least once a week!! It just seems so out of character for him. He's a really good guy we've spent most of our relationship hanging out with my family.
2006-11-27 12:54:29 · 10 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just so everyone knows I just found out about this about an hour ago. I'm waiting till the next time we talk to bring it up. I'm a very upfront woman & I don't put up with nonsense well. I don't want to come off as some kind of physco chick when I talk to him about it, he's under so much stress & the little time we do get to spend together either online or on the phone I try to make it as upbeat as possiable for him.
I have a lot of male friends & one of the things I love about my boyfriend is he is not a jealous kind of guy. And I'm not a jealous kind of girl, I don't mind him have female friends, but his ex...well there is history there, and before he left for Iraq they weren't even speaking & now suddenly out of nowhere, he's calling her & she's leaving comments on his page about how much she misses him & stuff like that. It just doesn't seem right to me!
2006-11-27 13:29:38 · update #1
you should sit down and talk to him about it
2006-11-27 12:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by cassiekennedy2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm sorry, but he definitely shouldn't have that kind of contact with his ex. He's even been CALLING her? From Iraq??? It's not like they have frequent use of a phone there. He should be using that time to call you or his parents or something. I wouldn't be OK with it, either. I think you need to have a serious discussion with him about this. Tell him exactly how you feel about it. Unless he's stupid, he should be well aware that it's inappropriate to have that kind of contact with an ex. Ask him how he would feel if he knew you were writing, e-mailing, and calling one of your ex's like that while he was in Iraq. Tell him you want the truth about whether or not you're the one he wants to be with, or if he's having thoughts of getting back with her. He owes you that, considering you've been waiting patiently here at home for him, and you've been true. Let him know that if he tells you he has no intentions of getting back with her, that you'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but to also understand that it would break your heart if it turns out that he's not being truthful. Good luck to you with this. I truly feel for you.
2006-11-27 21:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. But he's in a really awful place, and it may just be that he's looking for all the friendly reminders of home that he can get to help him through. You'll be a really good-hearted person if you give him that without any hassle. Just keep doing what you're doing with the communication so that he has a reminder of how great you are. And maybe it wouldn't hurt if you had a really rational (non-emotional) talk with him about how this worries you. Just remember, you get more bees with honey than vinegar, so don't try any manipulative tactics like threatening to break up, or saying "fine!" when things aren't fine.
2006-11-27 21:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by Lunatic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys do tend to wonder off to other interest when they are bored.
It's not a big deal communicating with exes once in awhile, but as frequent as you described it, does spark some curiosities.
He might just trying to comfort her being the good guy that he is. :) Or he might be less interested in you. Have you bring the issue to his attention?
Communication is the key to success in any situation.
2006-11-27 21:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by thrill5eeker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to just ask him what is going on. You shouldn't be beating yourself up trying to figure out what is going on. At the same time, don't come off too pushy, because speaking from experience, the more you are told no or not to do something, the more you want to do it. Good luck!
2006-11-27 20:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you love him but when it comes to talking to his ex that you don't like that very much cause you should be the only girl in his life that occupys his time. i hope he says ok but also say unless she is sick or going through a really tough time he can talk with her but for the most part he should postponed it. also tell him the reason you want him to stop cause it brings back old feelings that you had for her
2006-11-27 21:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart to heart with him and tell him your concerns. It could just be he wants to know her as a friend. If you guys both really care about eachother, you'll come to some sort of compromise such as, he sends more letters to you or something.
2006-11-27 20:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my experience, I guess none at all.
If the ex is really not a huge threat and she is just a friend, I guess its ok. But if she is doing some wrecking, than he needs to stop all communication.
2006-11-27 20:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by bluestar_dreamsx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him about it, NONCONFRONTATIONALLY.
if you get angry about it, itll only pi** him off more.
make sure you ask him and keep an open mind. he and his ex might be really good friends and hes just trying to comfort her in her time of need.
2006-11-27 20:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ambino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NONE
2006-11-27 20:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by buddah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋