Why does this keep happening to me?

Question

can someone please tell me why my parents always drive men out of my life. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and my parents love him one day and hate him the next. what the hell is wrong with them. first they love him, then he gets in a fight with my brother because he insulted me and my boyfriend didnt like it, so they hate him, then they love him again and always ask when the wedding is, then love, hate, love.now they hate him again becuase my mom overheard a fight we had and said that he shouldnt be talking to me like that. ( she doesnt even know what the fight stemmed from) and it was actually my fight. i purposefully pissed him off because i was in a bad mood but thats not the point. what do i do about my parents? my mom is now saying that she forbids me to get married to him.is there anything i can say to my parents that they would understand? i have to mention that im 21, and i've been dating since high school and every guy was the same case. what do i do?????

my mom got married at 17 to get away from her mother, but now she is her mother when it comes to me. does she really want me to get her out of my life. i am going to marrry my boyfriend whether she likes it or not, how do i make her understand that without messing up our relationship

i live at home half the week and with my boyfriend the other half of the week. this was a compramise because my parents wouldnt let me move out. ( surprise surprise) the fight happened while i was getting ready for thanksgiving dinner at my house.

Answer 1

i think they are just scared to lose you no mattter how good the guy is you will always be THEIR little girl not HIS

please answer my question thanx!

Answer 2

Some parents think that no one is good enough for their daughter.
I had a rich chinese girlfriend whose parents would give her a plane ticket every time she got close to a guy. The fight with your brother thing, I don't know, but there's a time and a place for that. Also keep in mind the generation gap. People acted different back when your mom and dad were kids. There were no cell phones, no gameboys and kids weren't so spoiled. Many young people are losing social skills because they are always texting each other and doing stuff to keep from conversing with others and so they seem disinterested in those around them. Your parents probably don't like the way he acts or the clothes he wears too. I'm guessing they really don't like these guys, then they see you happy so they sway towards them, but then they see something they don't like again and it changes their whole perception. I'd be on my best behavior for parents, and it wasn't an act. I also wouldn't pick fights with their family.

Answer 3

i know things seem burdensome right now, you will get through this. Parents often convince themselves that they know what is best for you... including when you become an adult. You need to put your foot down. Let them know that you appreciate everything they have done for you and all the lessons you have learned via their expert tootlidge. But that you will not stand for anything... not even from them. You are a responsible, capable adult now. You can make your own decisions. Tell them that you welcome the opportunity to make mistakes that you can yourself learn from. You appreciate that they love you and care about your well being, but to please give you a some breathing and growing space. How do they expect you to prosper if they constantly have their thumb on top of you. Don't let them force your hand and don't force theirs unless it is absolutely imperative. Getting your point across doesn't mean you have to make threats. Speak to them lovingly but firmly... They can't replace you and you, them. if the loving approach does not work, you might want to use your "ace in the hole". The "your mom did it to you, now you are doing it to me and I don't want that to be me when I have my own children" card. And just flow from there. Your mother has no right to forbade you of anything that is not taking place inside of her home. I f she refuses to have anything to do with your fiance', then tell her that is fine as long as she gives you your respect as you would give her hers. Mom will come around sooner or later. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

well for one thing your over the legal age so she cant realy tell you what to do but you do live in there home so to a point they can tell you what to do and they can not stop you from moveing out of the house you are 21 well over the legal age... I think as far as your mom you should sit down and talk to her & remind her how her mom treated her & why she left home and let her know she is doing the same thing to you but do it in a very nice & colm way so no fights start... Good Luck

Answer 5

it okay to listen to ur mother because she going to love u no matter what, but ur 21 act that way and tell ur hey I love him and we will marry not matter what, now what I need to know that u will alway be my mother no matter what. Its hard to get ur mother to understand because all she know is tha her daughter is growing up and that is scary and I speaking for what I know my daughter is 16 and she is my only girl out of 3 boys so just think what she going to go thought. LOL good luck and I hope u have a nice wedding and just remember there will more bad than good sometimes.

Answer 6

My mum does the whole I should not be talking to my fiance' when she barely hears what is going on. I think that maybe you need to discuss this with your family. I feel that sometimes they see things we do not see however I do feel that if you are ready to spread your wings and marry him then go for it. He can only be pushed away if he allows it because it does come to the point where someones family will no longer get in the way.

Answer 7

OK. Your 21 years old and your parents won't LET you move out? BS! I say you marry your boyfriend if that's what you really want, BUT you should really know if that's what you want before you make your parents upset. They'll understand when they see how happy you are. Good luck!

Answer 8

It sounds a lot like your family (especially your parents) are very controlling. That is why they are so hot/cold about your relationships. They want you to be happy, but cannot allow you to live your own life.

My suggestion is to move out. Don't accept any help from your parents. Show them that you are an adult capable of living your own life and making your own decisions.

Answer 9

you're 21, and your parents won't let you move. when you get married will it still be the same arrangements? tell your parents that you are an adult and you have to be independent. i am not trying to disrespect you, but i'm trying to be what you taught me to be , an adult. thank you so much for trusting me this far, but now i'm ready to test my wings and i need all the support i can get from you guys. please let me make my own decisions . i love you both and thank you so much for helping to get where i am today. then give them a hug. good luck.

Answer 10

Sounds like it's time to get your own place. That doesn't mean you family will be out of your life, believe me, but it will give you more freedom. You won't feel the pressure. You seem like you want to please everyone....just please yourself. Tell you family that you love them and respect their opinion, but it's your life. You're an adult now. You must suffer the consequences of your decisions. This back & forth stuff will just drive you crazy & put a wedge between either you & fam, or you & boyfriend, & you don't want either to happen....there is a happy medium, you just have to find it.

Answer 11

You are of age and should be able to make your own decisions. However do not marry your boyfriend to spite your parents...make sure you are doing it for the right reasons...good luck!