I have met this wonderful guy about 4 month ago. We have built such a wonderful time with and both know, we will be together forever at the beginning of relationship. He is very responsible, hard-worker. His profession constantly put him into very stressful condition always and I have promised myself to be supportive always and it has been my pressure for him. We had wonderful trip to San Diego 2 month ago. He told me that he has never had a great time with anyone….. but every since that trip (as he said), he feels he is not worthy of me and now, we are both thinking that he might be diagnosed with depression and I am more than likely believed so. I just have got phone call that he would like me to find someone else who can make me happier………… I never wish so. He is the one for me, I swear to God and I am wishing he is telling me this because of depression. Is there any professional advice or someone who can tell me that he is really wanting me to break up with him… or not….. I only wish his happiness always and forever.
2006-11-27 11:45:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ya got a choice here, girlfriend. You need to have a heart to heart and ask him of he really feels "not worthy" aka "low self esteem" or if he is just saying that to make you feel better as he is breaking up with you and trying to let you down easy. Ya know, the old " it's not you, it's me" routine.
If he has low self esteem, then you need to do some research and find out what you are in for before this goes any further.If you feel like taking on a "project" boyfriend, and you like to rescue people, then go see a therapist together and work on it. Or make the choice that you don't need any of this head game, mental aerobics, b.s. and move on.
Sounds like there is potential there, but honestly, proceed with mucho caution!!!!
2006-11-27 11:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him. find out why he really feels that way. If he still really sounds like he doesn't feel worthy, remind him of all the great times you've had together and about how happy he DOES make you. I am kind of confused. In the question, it sounds like he has been diagnosed with depression, but then later in the details it sounds like he hasn't... so I'll give you a few possibilities. If hasn't already been, definitely convince him to go to counseling at least once. they have all sorts of medications specifically to help with depression, and they work really well. Stress can definitely cause one to have pretty bad depression. If he doesn't want to go to counseling, it may help to tell him how you feel about him and all that girly stuff. Girls really can get a guy to acquiesce a lot easier than they imagine. This can be kind of tough to deal with, and it's not easy giving explanations on how to figure it out. I suspect he doesn't really want you to find someone else, it sounds kinda like he worships you more than anything. When someone has depression, they feel worthless, and anything good that happens to them is literally too good to be true. On the other hand, he might really just not know how else to break up with you.
Hope this helps! Good luck.
2006-11-27 19:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by aggieblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he use drugs? Maybe he did some drugs in San Diego and it's taking him some time to mentally recuperate from it. Depression is a normal reaction after drug use. It's normal for meth users to be emotionally unstable for up to six months after the last time they used meth. To a lesser extent that's also true of cocaine. If he has a history of addiction, any kind of relapse could make him depressed or feel guilty.
Or maybe he cheated on you and he feels guilty. That's possible too.
2006-11-27 19:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Rock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, with the others. If it is meant to be it is meant to be. However, if it is depression it would be suggested that you stay inclose contact however not to the point of a lovey dovey couple. Maybe if you remove yourself from him a little you will see how he reacts. If he keeps calling and wanting to talk you will know that he does not want to lose you entirely, he just sincerely believes that you can do better with him. If no contact is made by him you will no it was just not meant to be, and that maybe it was his nice way of letting you know. Give it a week, don't give up, and keep smiling
2006-11-27 19:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by smile_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how come you knew that your BF was diagnosed that he manifesting depression? well, in handling situation like this is not an easy task. lots of factors that trigger depression ...maybe one of this is his present job. maybe he was too pressured, too stressful for him. some will have their low self esteem, weak personality to cope up problems and situations,irritability coz they had ateration in his sleeping pattern.if you really love him, you better prolong your patience,patience,patience. a phone call from him is not enough. two of you need to talk in person . YOU better lt him feel that HE is the one, and he is the best, that YOU are there for him, ups and downs of his career. becareful in every words you utter to him, coz as what you had said he had depression (mood disorder). good communication technique here should be applied. never asked "why" to him. remember that in depression, they have the risk of siucide. men are prone to it. coz men are not vocal to their feelings unlike us. i know you really loved him, just always be there for him. do not force him to divulged everything , allow him to take time, just be with him. PRAY GOD IS GOOD. goodluck my,friend.
hope that in my own little ways these friendly advises will work.
2006-11-27 20:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by alone927 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to the the "I'm not worthy" attitude he is expressing. I can tell you, from my experience, that it is, indeed, very likely due to depression and self-esteem issues. You should try talking to him about seeking couples counseling, as well as individual counseling, especially if you feel this strongly about him being "the one." It will be well worth the work, if you guys can do it together.
2006-11-27 19:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have faith in God. If both of you are meant for each other the Lord will make it happen. Be patient things work for those who wait.
2006-11-27 20:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by vanborn_neptune 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do.........DO NOT LEAVE HIM!!! He definitely needs you by his side. He needs you now that ever. He's not sure of himself anymore, but if you help him and be a comforting shoulder for him, I'm sure he'll realize how much you love him once he is over it.
Also, reason with him why you are staying. Tell him that you love him just they was he is. Tell him that you won't leave from his ridiculous offer because you love him and only him. TELL HIM THAT YOU NEED HIM BY YOUR SIDE!! ^_^
That should fix him up pretty good! ^_^
2006-11-27 19:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by krazy_deviltry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um well im pretty sure he is cheatin on you he dont want to make you feel bad bye breaking up with you so he is making you do it. i think you should start being suspicous
on him and know everywhere he is going and what he is doing at all times
and if you find out something just tell him "maby your right i do need someone who deserves me"
2006-11-27 19:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that this guys cares about you alot.I think that he justs wants you to be happy, I don't think he means what he said, sometimes people can say things that they don't mean. If I were you, I would just keep doing what your doing, let him know that you appreciate everything he does for you.I hope that everything works out with you guys.
2006-11-27 19:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by spunky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋