My parents divorced after I was born, and I grew up without a father. I never got to see him or anything. I'm 21 now. I feel like I've been cheated. Is it normal to still be angry after all these years?
2006-11-27 11:35:57 · 27 answers · asked by Pauly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
See if you can make your anger work for you by learning to be the best person you can be. Then when the time comes for you to get married and have kids, you will have picked the right person and you will always be together.
2006-11-27 11:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by maggiepirsq 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to be angry and the first step towards healing is to find someone you can talk to about your feelings. This society is so jacked up. Men aren't allowed to have feelings but if you can find a good counselor. You'll be better off for it. I didn't even realize I was angry about my life after divorce until I started noticing how I took out my frustrations on other people. It is normal to be angry. Now you just need to figure out how you'll deal with the anger.
2006-11-27 11:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for you to feel that way. But if you need to get closure just look up your Dad and meet him and talk to him. What I don't realize why your MOM never talked to you about him when you was growing up especially when you grow older and wiser. Maybe she is still mad at him too, I don't know. But I hate to be rude or get you mad but if it wasn't for him and your Mom you wouldn't be here right now. ALl the feelings and emotions are normal but to get over them you should always remember how it felt to be without a father and when you finally get married or get a girl pregnant remember what you learned and don't do the same mistake. Because one day just like your father you will regret it. SO hey if you know where he's at talk to him get it out of your system, I guarantee if will make you feel good. I know I did that to go on with my life and not look back. So good luck and hope you do the right thing.
2006-11-27 11:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently it is normal because so many are angry just like you. But the question is, is it beneficial? Is the anger you feel helping or hurting you? Yes, you were cheated but don't cheat yourself. You're 21 start making your life count. Life is hard buddy for us all, just get over this because you can't change it. Make sure when you get married and have kids that you don't do the same to them.
2006-11-27 11:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on no count number if or no longer its separation or divorce. no count number if that's a separation the confident besides the undeniable fact that it additionally relies upon on what state you reside in occasion Oklahoma is a father state and Arkansas is a mom state. If that's a divorce then you certainly have not got any decision yet to wrestle it out in court docket. interior the case of abuse the yea the pick can commerce the visitation from unsupervised to supervised and then the different discern will in all probability be desperate to blame or innocuous. in the adventure that your requesting my opinion on the greater rights difficulty then this relies upon upon who's greater able to taking sturdy care of the infant and frequently this is the mum. rigidity on one mum and dad area could now no longer be adequate to disclaim the choice moms and dads rights or the infant. the well-known guy or female right here, IS the teen and if in any respect possible a dating between each and every mum and dad is passable. There are 2 human beings answering, one is a mom and going by ability of a an same dilemma. the choice is a produced from divorced mum and dad.
2016-12-10 17:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it is OK to be angry about it still, but at age 21, you should be able to get past the anger and try and understand why it happened. Have you talked with your mom about why your dad left? YOu say that you never saw your dad, well, it sounds like you life was probably better without him. If he did not care enough about you to make any attempt to contact you, he probably would not have been much of a dad. If you think you could do it, why not confront your dad if you know where he is. It might make you feel better.
2006-11-27 11:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. I'm 23 and mine split up when I was 16. I even knew it was for the best at the time. It still is for the best, they weren't good for each other. Sometimes even though rationally you know what you are thinking, subconsciously you still have irrational feelings. I have emotional problems still because of my dad. The problem is, sometimes you don't know what you are feeling yourself and how to deal with it, and you can't talk about it properly when you don't know what you are feeling. If you feel it would help, talk to someone about it. Otherwise, keep a diary and write down what you feel. Sometimes by acknowledging an emotion we can help to get rid of it.
2006-11-27 11:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by Akasha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's extremely normal but understand that Anger is a primary feeling that usually evolves into a secondary emotion of shame guilt etc. Understand that these feeling R normal but that the divorce was not ur fault. "Acceptance is the key 2 survival"
2006-11-27 11:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by 32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be normal to feel cheated but to continue to be angry is not healthy. Decide who you are angry with then forgive them. It will do you good.
They don't care that you are still angry and it only hurts you to hold a grudge, right?
2006-11-27 11:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you never got any help with dealing with it. I think it's only natural that you would feel "cheated".
Can you locate your father? Is that something you might be interested in? Can you talk to your mother about it?
If not, try finding a support group or someone you can talk to "one-on-one", it might help.
Good luck.
2006-11-27 11:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋