Private Parts?

Question

I just recently caught my 5 year old daughter and my 5 year old nephew showing each other their privates.My daughter told me they also touched each other once.After getting all details and confirming she has never "played" this game before with anyone.I asked her if she was curious.She's so young I had to explain what curious meant.She said that's what it was.What do I do,should I punish her?I didn't want to spank her because I wanted all the info first and I wanted her to feel comfortable talking to me>>I'm feeling very sad.I thought I would be having the sex talk with my daughter at a young age around 10 or so But 5!!!We do always talk about inapropriate touching and who is allowed to help her change etc..There's myself and her two grandmas and NoOne else.I kind of think she let me down.My mom says it's not that big of a deal and that it's normal and all we can do is keep a closer eye on the kids.What do you al think.help.sad.mad.want to cry

Answer 1

No you don't spank her. But now is the time to have a conversation with her that private parts are not to be shared. You actually have the opportunity to create a bond with her and make her feel that she can come and talk to you about anything. This is natural as long as she doesn't continue to play show and tell. Just remember that when you talk to her you have to be careful about your facial expressions and to keep your voice calm and quiet because you don't want to scare her. Just ask her what she wants to know and explain it in terms she can understand without using slang or idiot/baby terms like 'wee wee'. Kids can understand vagina, etc. Just caution her that other parents may not talk to their children the way you do because they don't know any better and that she shouldn't repeat to other children what you talk about. If she asks a question you don't know the answer to then tell her you don't know and get back to her with the answer.

Don't feel mad or sad, be happy you have the opportunity to make something positive out of this situation. My son was six when I had to explain to him what gay was. Some children called a friend of his gay because he always hugged him whenever he saw him. Obviously there were some ignorant adults who taught these children to use the word in a derogatory manner and I had to explain to him that it is never ok to put someone down because of what they do or who they are. But that no he was not gay. That was difficult for me to hear coming out of the mouth of my six year old, but the good result is that he can talk to me about anything (which helps as a single mom).

Answer 2

Dont punish her for being curious.. she is 5.. kids are curious as they are learning new things.. You want your kids to be able to come to you not be afraid of you..

think of it this way.. if someone touched your child in an inappropriate way.. would you punish her for telling the truth..
she told you what happened between her and her cousin

this is the time in their life where they notice things about them selves and so on.. we probably did the same thing when we were the same age.. im sure that you can find a book that is age appropriate for her that you can read to her about this..

I have a 5 year old daughter who is mixed.. and she asks me all the time why she is brown and why i am white.. so i just explained to her in detail which she could understand about what color daddy is and mommy is.. and tell her about the different cultures in the world..
we just have to be open with our kids about things that we would rather not talk about.. but if they dont know.. and something happens.. then they may not come to us parents for help and direction..

we think that when we talk to kids at this young of age that they dont undertstand things.. but if you explain carefully using words they will understand.. they will remember what you said to them if something were to happen.. and will be better to handle the situation and tell and adult without being scared..

Answer 3

Its totally and completely natural at this age. It has nothing to do with sex. Theyre simply courious about the differences between boys and girls.

Thats all she needs to know. Boys are different than girls, but that private parts are NOT for ANYONE to see. Especially someone who isnt a parent, or a doctor with a parent there.

Dont punish her, but make sure she understand its not permittable behavior.

You dont need to have the sex talk, theres no need for it at this age. Theirs was innocent curiousity, not urges of biology.

She didnt let you down, she's being a 5 year old. NO one expects these things to happen, because they dont always. Just use this as an opportunity to teach her the importance of protecting her privacy and her private parts from other peoples eyes and hands.

Answer 4

No need to cry honey. Your daughter is a human being... like the rest of us. Children are often curious about their bodies - particularly with members of the opposite sex. Don't punish your daughter for "bad behavior." Instead, let her know that her body is private and she should not let anyone look at her or play with her...Don't make her feel ashamed of what she did because then she might get a complex. Just act calm and say that her body is her own secret that other people aren't allowed to know about.

Answer 5

Children become very curious about their bodies,and the differences between them and their friends. It's normal for them to explore these differences with other kids their own age. Don't punish her, just gently explain the physical differences (explain the emotional things when she's 15) and tell her that she needs to keep her girl stuff to herself, you and her doctor. My daughter is three and we've already had the "where babies come from talk" because one of our neighbors is pregnant. She obviously doesn't associate her cousin with any sense of danger, so just keep a closer eye on them, It's normal mom, don't be upset.

Answer 6

Your mom is right. Its normal. Calm down and dont worry about it. All kids are curious at some point or another. You dont actually have to have the sex talk with her, just tell her that what she was doing is not appropriate at this age and that you dont want her to do that anymore. Dont punish her for it. Just make sure you watch the kids more closely and dont let them alone together. That is about all you can do. But it IS normal.

Answer 7

I know how you feel dear, i recently caught my almost 5 year old nephew showing my 11/2 year old daughter his penis. You cant punish them though, considering they are so young and dont exactly know its wrong yet. Just sit down and explain to them that those things are to be kept private, and nobody should touch or look at them, unless its a doctor or something. Tell her if anybody would ask to see or touch her privates she should tell them no, it's private and to tell you or another adult right away. I wouldnt worry though, and dont feel as if she let you down. She is too young yet to know any better. Good Luck

Answer 8

Don't be sad. That's normal behavior. Don't spank her b/c what she did wasn't wrong. She's just exploring. You should just let her know that she's still a little too young to be touching other people's private parts and having other people touch hers. Once you have the sex talk with her it should take some of the mystery out of the subject for her.

Answer 9

Dont make a big deal about it, Just tell her that our private areas are not meant to be shown to other people. When I was 5 a little boy and I showed each other our privates on the playground at school! I turned out to be ok in the long run and my parents did not get made, they just said not to do it again and I didnt

Answer 10

Normally this is the age when young kids experiment in that area. At this stage they are harmless and do not understand and that is when you explain some things concerning their private parts that are to be untouched never and as she grows older, heaverier explanation will be needed. Tell her to never do that again unless she will be punished. Also tell her that if anyone touches her in that area except you and herself to let you know rigfh away. Your daughter will comply and you should feel comfortable with the results of her actions. Of course what she did is not normal but it part of growning process for kids this age when playing with one another.