Girls (college aged, preferably) - what would you say?

Question

Girls almost never approach me, so I've been having doubts recently. Here's a very recent picture: http://myspace-352.vo.llnwd.net/01370/25/39/1370669352_l.png

I'm 5'6"/168 cm, 140 pounds, lift weights 3-4 times a week, have greenish eyes and medium brown hair. I'm a college senior. I've got a good sense of humor and good friends, but I'm a bit reserved and can be shy. I'm responsible and pretty easy to talk to. I rarely approach girls out in the open because I believe that if they're interested in me, then they should make the effort, even if it's giving me signals. I know, it's not "traditional", but times have changed. I think I might have trouble picking-up signals, the subtle ones anyway.

So, yay or nay? Is there anything in particular above that stands out? Your input is appreciated.

emma - Yes, some have told me the same thing about my eyes. Haha.

mikah_smile - Thanks for responding. I believe that if you are genuinely interested in someone, then you should do something about it. I have made an effort to express interest twice within the past year, but I didn't get very far with either girl. I ended up being hurt with one (the girl had some issues, among other things). I got over it rather quickly.

If someone is interested in me but fails to catch my attention, it is probably my fault, and I accept that.

Rejection - I hate it and fear it, but who doesn't? I used to be quite shy, but have made great progress since I started college, and have "warmed up" with the females more.

I'm not really looking for a relationship, but rather looking to "play the field". If a relationship forms, then great.

Answer 1

Yeah, if you're too lazy to make the first move, don't expect a woman to make the first move.

Seriously, if a girl is interested in you SHE should make the effort? Well, if you're interested, do YOU make the effort? And you admit you have trouble picking up signals? So if she's trying, and you're not receiving, it's HER fault for not being more aggressive?

You sound like you want a relationship, but that you're not willing to put yourself out there to get hurt in order to find one.

My advice, get less shy. Make a move. Get girls who wouldn't even give you a second glance to give you a second glance. You're kinda cute. You've got a lot going for you. Don't sit back and wait for a girl to find you. Go out and find one.

And smile more. Bet you're a ton sexier with a smile.

Good luck! Keep looking and you'll find her!

Answer 2

I would n't date you myself, you are not my type and i have a boyfriend who i love very much. however, you are pretty goodlooking and i have friends that would date you. i was very shy through middle school and then in high school (10th grade) i decided i didn't want to be left out any more so i forced my self to be less shy. it takes a lon time and i'm not overly out going now but you should try it. go to a bar or club and force yourself to talk to someone. getting humiliated the first time or two will help you learn, and if you don't get humiliated even better! alot of people now a days are getting married later in life so don't be in a hurry i'm sure something will work out. Also, you could try online dating, i know 2 couples who met online and their relationships are great. that doesn't happen for everyone but it will give you more practice.
Good Luck :-)

Answer 3

I wouldn't say your ugly.. I mean personally I wouldn't mind. I've been out with TONS worse, and that's saying something because I really don't date much.

Here's a few tips for you:
Looks don't really matter all that much to a lot of girls. Personality can make it or break it though. You need to break out of your shell a bit. If you don't get out and socialize, how do you expect to make friends with the girls? You don't have to do all of the "ice breaking", but if you don't really talk with girls, they might get the wrong idea. You'll never get anything in life without putting in at least a little effort. Last, but not least, wear some good smelling cologne or something. I am sure a lot of girls agree that we are more apt to "get closer" if you smell really good.

Answer 4

I'm married but there is nothing wrong with you! You have a sweet face and you seem honest and open, maybe this is the problem: nice guy syndrome. Sometimes nice guys have problems getting girls because they stupidly go after the bad guys. I know because I used to be a stupid girl! My husband didn't have much luck with girls either and then I came along. He is the nicest sweetest guy and gorgeous too. I think sometimes girls expect to be chased and if you are shy then that is sometimes a problem, but you know what, sometimes girls should be the ones to approach you!

Answer 5

Well, it does take us by surprise when a seemingly random guy introduces himself. Facebook might be a good idea, but everyone is different. Some people add every person they've ever crossed paths with, and then there's people like me who reserve it for genuine friends. There's a potential she may find fb creepy-how did he know my name, etc. Personally, I would prefer a guy to approach me in person, with something like, "Hey, I've noticed you around, and finally got the guts to come and introduce myself.." You could always try the whole.."Hey, you look familiar.." deal too good luck :)

Answer 6

well when i tried to see Ur pics the page said EXPIRED so i cant say for sure but it doesn't matter how you look you could be the ugliest person in the world and still be very sweet to whomever tries to be friends or even closer with you. you said yourself that you have great friends and you have a great sense of humor SO, what's stopping you from having a gf???!! go out there and just be yourself. good luck!!

Answer 7

If you want to get girls you have to do something you can't just sit around and think they are going to approach you because you never know if she is waiting for the same thing to happen

Answer 8

You look fine- and sometimes college is overwhelming and homework is piling high!!! You could be brave and ask someone out that you know is available- you can do it- the best thing they can say is yes- if not no- there are plenty out there- I would go out w you- and hopefully you would talk and not clam up- sometimes it takes a while to get to know someone-D

Answer 9

Times haven't changed as much as you think. If you're going to be successful with girls, you need to take the initiative. This is a biological truth.

Answer 10

You're very good looking and call me old fashioned, but I still think the guy should make the first move. Try it once and see what happens.