know when we got married, the church was very anamate that we were not living together before the wedding. My friend got married about a year later to a guy she was living with, and every church she talked to (including mine) wanted them to live apart for six months before they'd marry them. (they got married by a Justice of the Peace) My brother and his finacee are living together now, and plan to get married in a Catholic church. They claim they've never been asked for her address. Is this common? Is it a "don't ask, don't tell" thing?
2006-11-27 11:02:10 · 9 answers · asked by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
its dont ask dont tell and keep seperate addresses for the church records
2006-11-27 11:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by Eric C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be more tempted to find another church. I think it is commendable that you and your fiance decided to remain sexually pure before marriage. I am rather shocked that your pastor does not show more respect for that decision. He sounds like a jerk. I think I would find another location for the wedding (maybe move the wedding to the reception venue?) and find another officiant. Then I would take my time deciding on a new church home, visiting several (and speaking with their pastors) before making a final decision. Is this your parents' church too? If I was your mother, I would be furious that this pastor let both of us sit in a pew every week, taking our money (probably for years and years) . . . and then never said one word or indicated that there was a problem before the premarital counseling session. I do think that you and/or your parents should confront this man . . . or at the very least send him and his church superiors a stern letter. If there was a problem, why didn't he mention it when you first moved in with your fiance? Remember . . . just because he is a pastor does NOT mean he is always right.
2016-05-23 15:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can get married in the church. My best friend has lived with her man for a year before they were married. The priest did ask where they lived. They just told the priest that he still lived with his mom, since he was still finishing college. A small fib, but you have to weigh your options. Her father would have had a cow if they didn't get married in the church.
2006-11-27 12:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a number of friends who have gotten married in a church after living together first. It seemed to be non-issue for all of the churches they visited/considered.
I know, however, that couples who have a child together out of wedlock have a very difficult time finding a church to marry them. I think they are firm on this rule, but many are lenient on the living together issue...
2006-11-27 11:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by eileezy2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the hang up with that is. when your livin together before marriage is that your "shackin". or living in sin. So a lot of churches will ask you to seperate for a time because the church unlike the world does not recognize common law marriage.
2006-11-27 11:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by beast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only don't ask don't tell but also how much money do you give the church? Look at divorces, people with money get away with them in the Catholic church.
2006-11-27 11:10:36 · answer #6 · answered by antiekmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certain religions frown on cohabitation before wedlock. Many people think that living together before marrige is the key to a long ans successful marrige. I can see it going either way.
2006-11-27 11:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by Shea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loose lips sink ships! keep your yap shut!!!!
2006-11-27 11:12:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i did.
2006-11-27 11:21:30 · answer #9 · answered by Michael JB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋