I had been talking to this guy for 5 months now. About 2 weeks ago he & I had sex for the 1st time. Now I'm at the point where I want a relationship from him. When I asked him if he and I could become exclusive he said "I just got out of a relationship."
Then when I told him I could no longer talk to him or be friends he said "why? don't be like that. What do you want from me" When I told him I wanted a relationship that is when he said he just got out of a relationship. So I told him goodbye and he said "don't say bye. I could die tonight and those would be your last words to me. Don't be mean to those you care about bc tomorrow isn't promised." I told him bye once again and that was that.
I cannot be just friends with him because I want more. I would be teasing myself.
What can I do? It's been 1 day and already I miss him so much...he made me so happy. A part of me wants to run back 2 him to see if we continue to be friends maybe something will work out.
2006-11-27 10:40:30 · 12 answers · asked by cartier_2g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
in 5 months you didn't know he was involved? or after 5 months he will use that excuse. which is worse?
2006-11-27 10:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend like that...but not as long as you (3 months) but atleast you got to have sex with him (even if it was once)...I knew from day one that my friend didn't want anything serious and I accepted that but he thought that I called, e-mailed, IM him too much (which I didn't)...I did think about him a lot (which I shouldn't) but he knew and basically he doesn't talk to me anymore...If I see him online I will IM and just say hi, sometimes he doesn't answer, sometimes he tells me he is busy or something and he will talk/call me late which he doesn't (I know people just use it as an expression...)
Anyhow, if I was in your situation I would run back to him and continue to be his friend. I'm not sure how old you are and maybe that's why you don't want to continue to have sex with him without being in a relationship but I would just take things day by day and not put too much pressure on him...
2006-11-27 10:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kind of after the fact, but it's probably best not to have sex until an exclusive relationship has already been established.. who knows how many other women this guy has been sleeping with?
as far as your decision to end everything with him, i say it was the right decision. he's only looking for casual sex, but you want a relationship.. he's not willing to give you a relationship, so move on and look for a guy who is also looking for a relationship..
you'd only be fooling yourself if you run back to him. even if you continue to have sex, it will seem empty.. because it's sex without love.
2006-11-27 10:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been talking to him for 5 months, so if he "just got out" of a relationship, that means y'all were talking while he was involved with someone else...right? Were you not aware he was dating?
Why'd you jump into sex with someone right out of a relationship? He's not ready for anything yet...unless he broke up with her over 5 mos ago and is just using that as an excuse.
Disregard his little "if I die" yada yada yada lines...that's all meaningless...bottom line is that if he REALLY just broke up with someone recently, then you are pushing too hard and should back off (and the sex was jumping the gun).
However, if you really feel you have to have a relationship or nothing, right now, then stick to your guns and pass him by. He may not be ready to commit again for a while...so you'd be risking a "friends with benefits" type of relationship with you hoping he'll come around and want to be with you, and him (probably) feeling like he has no reason to.
2006-11-27 10:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away. It sounds like he is a user. Do not let yourself be subjected to this because if you think it hurts now just think how it will feel if you keep sleeping with him over a longer period of time and you think you have a relationship and he drops you cold because he has met someone else. You want more and he does not (except I am sure he had no problem sleeping with you). Cut your losses and move on. You will feel better with time. I promise.
2006-11-27 10:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by KristinaMaria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For real you did the right thing. Don't lower your expectations for anyone. It sounds like he likes you and doesn't want you to go, so give him time and he'll come back. and this way he'll come back knowing that you are a strong person who knows what she wants. He will respect you WAY more than he would have originally. If you talk to him. don;t hide your feelings but don;t ba a b**** either :) Just keep it real. let him know you aren't going to settle for less. Try not to be sad. Everything happens for a reason :) good luck... patience is a virtue.
2006-11-27 10:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ango 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well i think that u should go back to him just be friends and see how it goes don't rush in and don't kill ur self over a boy
2006-11-27 10:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think u did the wrong thing and maybe u should just be friends with him cause if ya'll not go be in a relationship then don't be enemies cause like he said tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.
~that's wat i would do
2006-11-27 10:49:50 · answer #8 · answered by savedgirlp3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day is too soon, you have to wait longer and see how you feel. Good luck.
2006-11-27 10:43:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about him if he dont want a relationship and he just wants sex then leave and forget cause he's just using you honey and i wouldn't put up with it!
2006-11-27 10:44:05 · answer #10 · answered by peace, love, happiness =] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋