Okay, so my cousin is 25, in college, married with a baby girl... The other day while we were shopping she tells me that she met up with her old crush "John". John was one of her major crushes in high school and last week while she was shoping saw him. He actually was the one who saw her and went up to her, they went out for a cup of coffee to get catched up on thier lives and such. Now my cousin is deeply inlove with her husband and glad that she has him, but she told me that when she saw him that all the feelings for him rushed right back. She told me that she seriously thought that he was done and over with, bnut when she saw him she told me that she said " There was always something I wanted to do to you" and before he had to ask what, she kissed him. She asked me if that was cheating and I said I don't really thinkso but I dont know. Its odd because now she is acting like she committed a hiddeous crime. Did She?!
2006-11-27 10:26:27 · 18 answers · asked by Horselover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes she did and she should tell her husband. You, on the other hand, need to stay out of it.
2006-11-27 10:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Texas_Aggie95 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very dangerous territory for your cousin. There is an obvious attraction for this other person. Cheating does not have to involve intimate contact, in my view it can be emotional as well (such as depending on or considering this person more than your spouse). Maybe this time it was a kiss, but things could go further if she continues to see him. Just remember most affairs start very innocently, chatting, coffee, dinner, or an afternoon just spending time together and most of the time a person is not out to hurt his or her spouse. It can be flattering when someone other than the spouse pays attention to you. If I were your cousin for the sake of her marriage I would definately walk away from this person now while it is just a kiss and concentrate on her spouse and daughter. Best of luck helping your cousin.
2006-11-27 10:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by KristinaMaria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good rule of thumb Yum. An even better one is that if it was reversed, and the other person in the relationship committed the same act, would you be hurt and consider it cheating? Again, the answer is almost always yes. The guidelines are up to the couple though.
2006-11-27 13:54:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did commit a crime to herself...she told you what she did...yet probably not what she was thinking. But she knows. I do not know how to answer this because I am not her...if she comes clean over a kiss it could ruin her life....but if she doesn't it will weigh her down....either way she is gonna suffer over this...does not sound worth it. But it was a choice she made and she has to live with whatever she decides. If I were you...stay out of it so your not to blame. Just let her know you will try to help her any way you can but you do not want to make her decisions for her.
How would she feel if her hubby did this act?
2006-11-27 10:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, seriously, if you're happily married, and you see someone you once had strong feelings for, and they "come rushing back"--you IGNORE THEM or brush them off. You DON'T go out to coffee with them. Some people can be SO dull sometimes.
And then SHE initiated a kiss?? ...Oh my god...*shaking head, rolling eyes*
Basically, here's a guide to know if you're cheating or not.
1) If you wouldn't tell your husband--YOU'RE CHEATING!
2) If you're doing somethign you wouldn't want your husband to see/find out about you doing (obviously, not including bathroom, etc, if you're shy about things like that) --YOU'RE CHEATING!
...and 3) IF YOU HAVE TO ASK IF YOU'RE CHEATING--YOU'RE CHEATING!
Tell her to tell her husband the truth, ask him to forgive her, and NEVER see the other guy again!
Edit: Response:
"She shouldn't tell her hubbie because it wouldn't solve anything and it could break-up her marriage. "
--On the contrary, he deserves to know, and worse, it could break up her marriage if she doesn't tell him. Keeping secrets like that often hurts more in the long run than owning up. If she tells him, they can work it out. Yes, he will be hurt--wouldn't you?--but if he loves her, too, he will forgive her. If she doesn't tell him, it will either build up guilt over time until she explodes, or she will still have the thought in her head as a temptation, and nobody to help her resist, and bigger, worse things will happen between her and her "crush".
2006-11-27 10:33:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course that's cheating. if you was married and your husband come home from the store and said hes the diapers and o by the way i kissed to girl i use to know in high school. sorry but it was just some thing i wanted to do. what would you say?............not only is it cheating it also show a lack of morals.........i just hope some day he runs in to an old friend. LOLA I'M WITH YOU.............
2006-11-27 10:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by BLOODHOUND 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may attempt him and talk to him at random or in case you comprehend the position his adress, you may marvel him with a visit and with the help of coincidence (if he's dishonest) he may be searching ahead to his different female friend and at the same time as your round it does not be the neatest for him to call her and tell her now to not come. you ought to not have self belief his cousin immediately away, yet you ought to also question your boyfriend rather. in case you and his cousin are rather close, he may absolutely be searching for you. also, even although that he's genuinely calling you once an afternoon, you ought to experience free its not some times a week. desire it helps
2016-11-27 02:34:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is feeling guilty, guilty, guilty. She needs to not see this guy again and be happy with the wonderful husband that she sounds like she has. I guess every woman wonders what if, but she should not act on her impulses. She needs to think about all the stuff she is going to loose and she needs to ask herself if it would be worth it. She is walking a very thin and dangerous line.
2006-11-27 10:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What she did wasn't correct. How would she react if he husband did what she did? She needs to avoid that ex and never do it again. She didn't exactly commit a crime, but she did commit a fault. She shouldn't tell her hubbie because it wouldn't solve anything and it could break-up her marriage.
2006-11-27 10:31:22 · answer #9 · answered by pirulee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating, sneaking around seeing an old boyfriend and kissing him is definitley cheating. However it is not as though she slept with him, hopefully her husband is very understanding she should tell him about this episode and let the chips fall where they may.
2006-11-27 10:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so your asking if kissing another man who was an old crush while being married to another man and having a baby is cheating?
first, your a retard and so is your cousin
thats cheating, and if she didnt know if that was cheating or not maybe she shouldnt have had a baby and try to grow up a little first
2006-11-27 10:34:36 · answer #11 · answered by 63godtoh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋