Parents: What would you do if you found out your oldest son was 'accidently touched' by a friend?

Question

I'm sure you know what I mean. And let's say this son's always been honest, etc.

Answer 1

Well, you obviously need to get more information; that turn of phrase doesn't really make sense.

What you need to do is support your child no matter what, whether he's lying or not. That doesn't mean falsely accusing someone. That means doing everything you can to find out the truth, and then acting on it in your child's emotional and physical interest.

After having a recovered memory as an adolescent, I confided in my mother that I had been abused by a family member as a small girl. I was distraught and angry. I asked for retribution on my behalf. I wanted to sue the abuser for emotional distress, tell the family, anything I could do to unleash my anger onto this person and humiliate them the way I had been. My mother thought it less embarrassing I guess (for her? me?) that we "let her get on with her life." You can't imagine the helplessness and resentment I have felt all my life whenever I think about this situation and how my mother, my protector, let it remain unresolved for me when I couldn't act on my own behalf. At 26, I am still not whole bc growing up I was never given support for this situation, closure, revenge, therapy - nothing.

You need to be your child's advocate. You need to be your child's advocate. You need to be your child's advocate. So find out what the hell happened and then do everything you can to fix it.

Answer 2

I would sit down and explain to him that it was wrong. Hopefully he would already know this because you have taught him that it is not right for anyone to touch him in those places. If you have not now is the time to do it.

You did not say his age so there may be different ways you might want to explain it to him. But first you need to let him know that this "friend" is not a friend and he needs to stay away from him.

It is good that he has always been honest with you and if you handle this diplomatically he will trust you even more.

I would personally make a point to bring it to the other child's parents attention. They need to know and it does not matter really how they take it they need to know. If the child is old enough to be prosecuted for this I would consider making a police report. I would probably make a police report anyway just to have it on file. If he has done it to your son he has done it to others and will do it again. It is a cheap thrill for him and one he hungers for. The last thing you want if for this other child to do it to others.

There are so many mixed up kids out there these days and the influence that this child tried to bring over yours is uncalled for.

Go ahead, take that second step and do what you need to do!

Answer 3

I am not sure I understand. If it is one of my son's friends, depending on his age, I would probably assume he didn't know better, but I would resolve this issue, discuss it with his parents, etc.

If you mean an adult, as in one of MY friends, I agree there is not accidental touching, at least not in that way. I would inquire with my son as to how many times this has happened, things like that, and tell him to tell me if it happens again. And I would explain to him that it is not okay.

I would then contact the friend, and/or the police, depending on how I felt about the situation and the friend. I think people who do this should be punished, but I would very much hate to wrongfully accuse someone, especially a friend, so if this ever happened, I would make sure that I had my facts straight before running to the cops. But my son would definitely come first.

Answer 4

hmm, is their such thing as accidently touched? if he ment to touch your son then its touching, nothing else, accidental touching would imply he fell over and landed on your son etc.


touching is not acceptable, it doesnt matter if he is a good friend or not, you care about your son more and he is more important then your friend. people like this can not help themselves, it could happen again, it could be worse so go tell the police, make sure your son is 100% sure first, sometimes kids will lie like this to get back at people

Answer 5

Assuming you mean a "much older" friend, who's a friend of yours (not a school-aged friend of his), you should be in contact with authorities. That would not be acceptable.

If it's a friend of his, then that depends on their age, and it's stlll valid for him to assert the "good touch / bad touch" stuff and tell his friend to stop, but that should be handled preferably by talking to his parents, rather than authorities.

Answer 6

There is no such thing as accidentally touching your child. Report this abuse immediately and make sure your son knows you believe him and do not have any more contact with this friend.

Answer 7

I would report this person to the authorities. Pedophiles do not stop. Talking to this person will "not" work. If you do not take the side of your child and all children then you are taking the side of the pedophile.Don't give this individual, even 1 more hour to do this in.

Answer 8

report this person asap. your son needs to know that you beleive him, if you dont act now he will not be so forth coming in the future. if your son felt that what happened was uncomfortable and he felt the need to tell you, then it was not an accident.

Answer 9

Don't consider this person a friend and report it to the police immediately. Let them investigate. AND keep this person away from all of your chidren!

Answer 10

well what are you waiting for? go report this to the Police Now.