and he told me prior to his separation, his ex wife is put a restraining order out on him twice and accused him beating on her and on molesting their son, which forced him out of the house. for a period of time, he couldnt see his son.
now he is divorced and has joint custody of his son.
should i be concern? . is it possible he abused his wife and hurt his son. after all i only know one side of the story?
2006-11-27 09:07:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he prob abused his wife the son thing could be a stretch, sometimes in divorce one of the parties will get real nasty if he has joint custody i dont believe that one but the beating, yep i believe that one,
2006-11-27 09:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by wolfchat_2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did she only file a restraining order, or did she actually file a police report. Was he ever arrested or just accused? Most courts would not award joint custody if there is a threat of abuse. There are many bitter women who make up stories like this just to get back at their ex for leaving them. Have you ever spoken to her? If she's bitter, most likely she is not going to tell you the truth, if she's nice to you at all.
Does your boyfriend have a copy of the charges? has he let you see them?
Have you seen him with his son? Does his son seem afraid of him?
If you have ANY doubts in your mind, you should move on, but if you believe him, give it some time and decide for yourself if you think he has a temper. At the first sign of one, I'd get out of there. It's hard to say get out of there now, when there's a chance that he truly is a nice guy and she's just lying. You could potentially be throwing away a good relationship.
You need more information, I think.
2006-11-27 17:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by brianna's mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a child molester, this might be a publice record, you need to know about this and yes...you should be very concerned. Honey anyone who hurts his son, especially in a sexual manner has inner dark secrets that you dont want to tap into. If there was a restraining order it is not because he was serenading her either...if you are just starting this relationship you will see the real him as soon as he is faced with a stressful situation...do not ignore the red flags...they are probably waiving at you as we speak and if you choose to look the other way...look again...i would not like for you to email us in the future because this guy hurt you or someone around you that could not defend themselves (a younger sister, a son or daughter). Be cautious of this guy, do a background check...this is becoming a very popular weapon for men and woman who are in new relationships and want to have peace of mind.
2006-11-27 17:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you should be concerned, but how does he treat you? Having gone through a divorce many years ago, I know first hand that women can make up stories, and accuse ex-husbands of many crimes. My ex, testified in court, that I was planning to abduct our child, if I got visitation privileges. I've since remarried, and have spent many happy years with my current wife. She has never been abused, although we do have occasional arguments, which seems to be normal. So be concerned, but give the guy a chance to show you what he really is like.
2006-11-27 17:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Beau R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to his ex-wife to get her side of the story. once you have gotten her side. once you got hers and it sounds legit, really think about it and if you feel you should be concerned, then yes there is something to worry about. It is possible that he abused his wife and hurt his son but it is also possible that the ex is lying about it. So for your sake, get her side of the story. Maybe you'll get the info you need not to continue this relationship.
2006-11-27 17:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him to bring you with him to see his ex-wife to clarify the matter. If they now have joint custody, she may have been being vindictive and may actually admit to that now ... if he has nothing to hide he will bring you there to confront the issue. I say they should be able to bring it out in the open in your presence if there is nothing to hide. If he actually did those things...run and catch the next bus away from that man.
2006-11-27 17:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by healy6099 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask his ex wife for the other side of the story.
2006-11-27 17:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by Unknown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. If he has joint custody of the child, it's very likely that the charges of molestation were false, as well as the other charges.
2006-11-27 17:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by RivatricHistrionic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ex sounds bitter to me. if it was true what she said , why would the courts give him joint custody? just watch him with his son. if he looks like he going to do anything to him then leave. if not stop worrying.
2006-11-27 17:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be cautious with that one but find out the whole story.
2006-11-27 17:21:05 · answer #10 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋