How do single moms do it?

Question

I'm on day three of being alone with my kids (I have 2 ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2). Their father is staying at his father's for a while due to a new job. For the next month, 2 months maybe I will be here with the kids and only going up to see him on weekends, then the girls and I will move there. Anyways, all I have heard since I got off of work is " I WANT MY DADDY!!!!!!" I called and he's not off from work yet. How can I do this? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Redirection... Acting... and Determination..

When your children want daddy suggest they can draw him a picture or color something for him to hang on his fridge so he will see it everyday... Set a specific time each day that your husband will call the children or the children will call him... Set an alarm clock for that time so the children can see that it's set and know when it goes off they will get a call.. Learn your husbands work schedule so when you know he is not available yet you know you need to redirect a bit longer...

While you also miss him you need to act like it's all ok... Your children will pick up on your feelings and magnify them back at you... That's where the acting comes in when they say they miss daddy say "Yes but we will see him Saturday and we will be doing _____ won't that be fun." Yes inside you are saying "I miss him too" but outside you are reinforcing a positive happy time that will hapen in the future...

Keep your determination up and keep acting and redirecting the time will quickly slip by and you will soon be back under one roof again...

Also don't forget you and hubby do need a bit of alone time so during your visits get a sitter for the kids after they are in bed and asleep...take an hour or two to walk in the park, have a late dinner, or sit on the porch and talk about anything but the kids... For that couple hours you are just a couple who has no kids at all... That doesn't mean you don't love your kids it's just time for the two of you to reconnect as a couple...

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Answer 2

Oh boy, my moms a single mom, 3 kids, ages 12 13 and 17, all of us homeschooled and her running a buisness out of home. They have been divorced ever since I was 13... just be patient, ask someone to help you if you need it, dont be afraid to ask (or order pizza more than twice a week n_n). Explain to the kids that they cant see daddy for awhile because hes working. Start a calandar, or better yet, paper rings. Make as many paper rings as days daddy will be gone, then each day at dinner break one off, so they dont have to ask how many more days. Also, arrange a time when hes going to be off that the kids can call and talk. Put out pictures or ask them to draw him a picture of what they did each day and make him a book. It keeps them busy, if only for awhile... ;) good luck!

Answer 3

Aww I know the feeling!!! When my husband joined the military he had to leave for 3 months to train and I was essentially a single parent to 3 boys ages 3, 2 and a newborn. It was rough! The kids will benefit from seeing their daddy on the weekends, unfortunately though it will also me a reminder that he isn't around all the time. Mondays will probable be the hardest for you.

I don't know if this sounds corny to you, but my husband made a video of himself reading stories before he left and my kids watched it almost every night before bed and anytime they really missed daddy, it helped tremendously! Also just keep reassuring them that he isn't gone for good, that he will be back and eventually they'll fall into a routine of sorts again. Oh and make sure you take some down time for yourself every day. Like for example when they are in bed, don't spend all that free time cleaning and stuff, take at least 20-30 min to just relax and do whatever you want. Doing this will help you avoid burnout and overload! Good luck to you!

Answer 4

It's hard I know. Try distractions first. It seems silly but sometimes it is easier to get them interested in something until he can get home to give him a call. Also have him call and record a message on the voicemail or machine for when you can't reach him and they need his voice. E-mailing pictures for them to see it also a great idea. Anything that they can see and hear is great. Try to make it the same time every evening that they get to "hear" from daddy. We used to do bedtime. He would call and sing to them for me. It gave me a little break too ( I loved to just sit and watch mine listen) It is like magic on their faces =).
Speaker phone will be your best friend. I am a single mom of 3 ages, 4 1/2 years, 2 years, and 3 months. My brother is in Iraq right now and they do alot of picture e-mails. They have a scanner so she e-mails him notes and pictures that they draw too. I can't tell you how much we miss him and that these things help.

Answer 5

You are in a tough spot. I was a single mom and I don't know that there was ever an answer to make it easier.

Stand firm with your discipline and ask him to call whenever he can. Maybe you can keep your oldest busy making pictures for daddy? When I had to be away for a week once I video taped myself talking to my kids and reading a few stories. My youngest was able to watch this and he felt like I was closer. Could your husband make a video tape of himself?

Good luck.

Answer 6

You simply do what you have to do. Is it easy? Hell no! My husband is in the military so I have done the single mom thing many times, some times a year at a time if not longer. You just need to figure out what works for you and your children. I think the suggestion of a Web cam is great. That is what we do.

Answer 7

you would be surprised how much children understand...I would suggest you sit those little darlings down and explain to them the situaton,then ask if they have any questions....Then after you do that explain to them that nothing can be done about the situation and that you will not allow them to continue screaming for Daddy or they will be in time out....Ages 2,and 21/2,and even 1 1/2 will understand this,just because they are small don,t underestimate what they can understand.Trust me ,I raised 5 of them and they DO know what you are saying....

Answer 8

Ive been a single mom before. And I've also dealth with a hubby with creapingly long work days. I dealth with that by taking my kids up to see him on his lunch break (they have a play area and everything) But I'm guessing since he has actually moved, that your hubby is too much of a distance away. Do you both have computers? You could buy web cams and communicate that way.

Answer 9

My (now ex) husband worked nights. He gave them both one of his t-shirts and sprayed it with his cologne and called it their daddy shirt. Whenever they need a "hug" from daddy they just slip it on over their clothes. We also draw him pictures and right him letters when they miss him. Also, let him know that the kids miss him and ask him to call when he gets a chance. OR...get web cams so they can see him!! Good luck!!!!