go for it, cool, classy, dirty.... anything goes.
2006-11-27 08:32:01 · 12 answers · asked by fluxpattern® 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
2 old ladies are sat on a park bench when they get flashed, one had a stroke, the other couldnt reach!
I know its old and VERY silly but this is one joke that really made me wet myself
2006-11-27 08:37:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I Want to Buy That
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
2006-11-27 16:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by Onetreehillloverrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept
through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little
Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and
jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher
said,
''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?''
But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the
rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher
said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked
Mary
a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third
child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up
and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break
it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
2006-11-27 16:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by katie-pie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two eggs are in a frying pan and the first egg says; "Damn! Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The other egg says; "Holy ****! A talking egg!"
It's short and sweet and most people take a couple of seconds before they laugh, but it's funny. I like jokes that make people think for a moment.
2006-11-27 16:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by cathy m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old friends Morrie and Hymey were walking down the road, ahead of them was a bunch of chavs. Morrie says, "I dont like the look of this lot Hymey". Hymey says,"neither do I, OH and here is the £20 I owe you."
Morrie is stopped by a women of the night, £5 to sleep with me, she asks. No thanks, says Morrie, I'm not tired, but I'll have the fiver.
2006-11-27 16:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I heard this the other day. Italian guy; "When i finish making a luv to my girlafriend I go a down and tickle the back of her knees." "She floats 6 a inches above da bed in x.t.c." French man says; "Zat is nothing, when finish with ze girl I kiss her all ze way down her body an zen lick ze soles of her feet." "She floats 12 inches above ze bed in x.t.c" Irish man; "That's nothing when i finish riding me bird I get out of bed an wipe me ***k on the curtains an she hits the **c*i*g roof."
2006-11-27 16:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by itgirl23 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
One burp said to the other burp-lets be stinkers and go out the other end. Not the funniest joke but reasonably clean so it doesn't sully our minds!
2006-12-01 09:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by Birdman 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A nun was closing up the church, as she made her way down the alley to her car a man jumps out of the shadows. He throws her on the grounds rips off her clothes and has his way with her.
As he was buttoning his pants he looked down at her with an evil grin and said "so Sister what are you gonna do tomorrow at confession?"
The nun stood up and said " I'm gonna tell the truth, that last night I was on my way to my car when a crazed man jumped out of the shadows and raped me....................Twice, if your up to it!!!!!"
2006-11-27 17:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by sbourque79 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mickey Mouse is at his solicitors and the solicitor says to him: 'Now listen Mickey I really don't think you can divorce your wife Minnie just on the grounds she's got buck teeth.'
Mickey replies: 'I didn't say that, i said she was f u c k ing goofy!'
2006-11-27 16:41:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a teletubbie that's just been burgled? A tubbie...
2006-11-27 16:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by floss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋