OMG im HEART Broken PLEASE help?

Question

my fiance and i have been together for 6 years

Since we have been together i have gained 110 pounds im now 300 im not huge but im bigger then i should be. she has gained like 30 so no biggy to me it doesnt matter but to her as i would guess to any women it does. I am a really nice guy i we have a little boy together and a little girl who is not from me but ever since i met her she has been mine im the only the farther she has ever known. Here is my problem though im just one of those stupid guys who cannot seem to remember to clean up after my self and my weight i need to get off my butt and fix. But what hurts me is because of my weight is the main issue she will not make love to me we havent for 6 months and she is constantly rude to me. i love my son and i donot want to see him hurt but how much should i take and how right is she to call me fat f and piece of crap HELP

and if she loved me like she says would my size matter.

I would marry this girl in a second i treat her great and still when it comes to being physically fit i can run faster longer heck when we had sex i could keep going she was the one who got tired. i meen i do not know guys i love her and i wanna do anything but its like any effort is never good enough i feal like i need a women who loves me for me im funny im nice i love playing with my kids i love life im young at heart and i like being young

Answer 1

suggest you both excessive together...start walking every other day and build up to power walking you both will not only lose weight but you'll feel better, less tired and more interested in doing the 'things' you used too. maybe its not about your weight but the fact you've been together 6 yrs and she's still a fiancee...point is maybe she feels you don't want to commit to her....if you love her treat her like it, respect her. and no your size shouldn't matter if you really love each other...there is a saying that 'beauty fades but love lasts forever'

Answer 2

i don't think it's so much the weight that she is protesting! i think it's more of the way you don't help around the house! I have been in your shoes and gained weight an as a result i became VERY lazy! that's how i gained all the weight! Maybe you should try to be more active by making a concious effort to clean up behind urself and maybe even a do a few extra things too! i'm sure she loves you no matter how much you weigh she is just worried and she is clearly going about it in the wrong manner however she thinks by talkin to you the way she does she will motivate you! i would start by helpin her out around the house! and maybe ask her to join you on walks with the children or something that will get you up and show her your trying! I'm sure that's all she really wants!

Answer 3

Okay, let me try to be gentle cause I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. But dearheart there is a difference between 30 lbs and 110! That is sort of ridiculous and more importantly very unhealthy. When I had my second child, I went from 115 lbs to 170 lbs. Even after I had him I was so much bigger than I was before he was born but my bf still thought I was beautiful and it didn't change our sex life. When it started to affect my health he insisted that I lose the weight, not because of how I looked but because of how it made me feel. 300 lbs is a lot and add to that you admit that you don't clean up behind yourself. You're obviously not happy with yourself. And can you honestly say you would still have the hots for her is she gained 110 lbs? She has no right to call you names especially in front of the kids but every relationship has it's limits and you've obviously reached yours. The only person who can fix this is you.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about that. If she loves you then the weight shouldn't;t matter to her. Yes I understand that you have a son together. But you do need to take all of that abuse from her. If she really loves you then talk to her and tell her how you fell. If she keeps on then move on with life before it is to late. You will find someone new, and to love you for what you are. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Well, just to let you know....she should love you no matter what. Emotional abuse can be just as hard as physical abuse. Step up to her and tell her everything you just wrote to all of us. Do not take her abuse. I understand how you don't want to hurt your children, but you have to be in a situation that will make you happy! Good Luck!

Answer 6

Well she aint the one to b talkin if she aint on the slim side.
tell er how u feel and that the jokes are not funny..
Because i think she is not a nice person right now.
why dont u try to go to the gym, because 2 me it sounds like your not happy within yurself about your weight.

Answer 7

you're right if she loved you then she wouldn't be calling you fat, instead she should be trying to motivate you to lose weight IF you want to or for health reasons. suggest something like when you have free time you her and the kids go for a walk. walking is a great way to burn off fat.

Answer 8

no size doesn't matter , but it sounds like if you want this to work then you are going to have to do some thing to fix it , get off your butt and do some thing for you and your son . we only get 1 shot in life so make work. good luck get up and go for it .

Answer 9

Oh my note i did not assume that to ensue! change into crying my eyes out and that i didnt even like that Danielle in the first position - idea she change right into somewhat intense! It change into Ronnies reaction that disillusioned me

Answer 10

You suffer from low self-esteem. First lose the weight, then lose the woman. That's the advice. You will not do it, however, because you suffer from low self-esteem.