Some people find it awkward when they are put into a position where someone is feeling unwanted or upset. I used to have a hard time comforting people, but now I've come to learn that it just helps to give a shoulder to cry on. What do you do when someone cries? How do you demonstrate sympathy?
2006-11-27 08:22:51 · 9 answers · asked by Aileen A 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ask if there is anything you can do for them. Usually, there is. At least let them know you're there.
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2006-11-27 08:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by twowords 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silence is golden. It is the human TOUCH that most people need. Especially true if it is a cowroker or stranger. You don't need to know the details. They may not wish to share verbally. but it never, ever hurts to simply be quiet and put an arm around a shoulder or even stand close enough so they can lean on you for support. Offer a tissue, sometimes tears and runny noses come when least expected and a tissue is a kind gesture. don't wait for the nose to run! If there has been a tragedy, do not EVER say "I know how you feel". Even if your circumstances were the same, no one knows exactly what another person is feeling. If you need to say something, a simple "I'm so sorry that you're upset." will do just fine. If they calm down or look at you, yuo could add "Is there anything you need right now? Is there anyone you'd like me to call for you?" If they tell you, then DO IT!
2006-11-27 09:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right away, show that you are here for them. Honestly, everyone should be here for each other in a time of crisis. When you see a person crying on a sidewalk, you would feel a sense of sympathy. The first thing I would do is give them a hug. Hugs always make a person feel at home, safe, and in comfort during a hard time. It also shows that you care in general as a person. When a time of crisis, I make sure everyone (mostly everyone) is fine and comfortable, not in a "i can't believe this happened... I want to die" mood. All you have to do is show that you care and here for that person. Plain and simple.
2006-11-27 08:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Guitarist 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Silence. They need to get the emotion out. Arm around the shoulder, and don't stare at them.
I did a communication course some years back and we were taught that in counselling, the way to get someone emotionally stuck - to speak - is to mimic their body posture (if they are bent over do the same) then very slowly over at least an hour, slowly bring them up to sitting position by moving up a little bit at a time - the person will subconsciously mimic you. Once they are in a sitting posture its easier to talk to them - don't talk much, just listen - they need to release - they don't want immediate answers.
Males are programmed to find solutions, females are programmed to get really upset and don't want immediate solutions, they want sympathy - later on is the time for answers, but in the first instance - sympathise with their pain (unless what they are upset about is so against your own moral code that it would compromise your self respect to agree with them).
2006-11-27 08:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by mycall 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some years ago, I had to take my 17-year-old cat into the vet. She had cancer and we'd been dealing with it, and I knew this was the end, that I would have to have her euthanized.
Afterwards, I walked out of the vet's office blinded by my tears and sobbing uncontrollably. I just wanted to get out of there.
I stood in the parking lot fumbling for my car keys and trying to stop the tears so I could see to drive. As I stood there, a woman came out of the vet's office and walked right up to me and gave me a hug. "I had to have my dog put to sleep last year," she told me. "I know how hard it is. Are you all right?"
I gulped and sobbed and hugged her back, and told her that now I thought I would be, and I thanked her for her caring. It was a great comfort to know that a complete stranger could take the time and effort to try to bring me comfort.
About six months after that, I happened to be at the vet's with another cat when a woman came out after having her cat put to sleep. She sat there sobbing, and I gave her a hug and told her I understood what it felt like, and asked her if she would be okay.
I don't think sincere offers of comfort and consolation are ever misplaced. JMO.
2006-11-27 09:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always let them talk. Never say "I know how you feel" if you've never been in that situation. I hate when people do that. I say I understand how hard it must be or I just let them cry.
2006-11-27 08:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by ASHLEY D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell them a joke to make them laugh and then sit and talk with them.
2006-11-27 08:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Blue Eyes 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Whatever you're sad about, just remember it will all be okay very soon. " And offer a smile. =]
2006-11-27 08:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by cheeseprincess4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are truley distracted, see if you can get their wallet...;-)
2006-11-27 11:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋