My 13 year old son?

Question

My 13 year old son is not doing the best in school and he is bad. He wears you know baggy clothes and stuff and he has a girl friend, Now I come home from a date with my boyfriend and he is in his bed making out NOT having sex but making out. I asked the girl to leave and I grounded my son and yelled at him. Now he is always going somewere and I am afaid he is out making out or even having sex. I asked my daughter (his twin) about it she said she soesnt know anything about it what should I do

Answer 1

Does wearing baggy clothes make him a bad kid?

Anyway, YOU are the parent. You need to set your foot down. Ground him. Take away his favorite things. You must set boundaries so that he knows if he crosses them, he will be punished. Christmas is coming. If you celebrate it, don't buy him anything (or much) and then he'll see that you mean business. Also, you need to look a little deeper. There might be something going on (either at home or at school) that's causing him to act out. Talk to him - or have an adult (male) that you trust and that he trusts - talk to him.

Answer 2

Plastic bed covers too. The goodnites are a good idea.. We have a son with the same problem and the same age.. There is medicine you can get via prescription from your MD. We don't make a big deal.. It can be frustrating.. Cut back on the water at night. Eventually he will out grow it.. Boys tend to have this problem more than Girls. Our son is hit and miss.. sometimes he does, most of the time now, he doesn't. Good luck again, don't make it a big deal.. It creates more stress on your son.. I'm sure it bothers him as well.. Explain to him the goodnites are to avoid staining the mattress, sheets etc.. Not to embarrass him or humiliate him.. In our sons situation. when he spends the night out.. he never wets in the bed..

Answer 3

have him drug tested. - I know others are going to read this and say WTF? its just natural to have hormones. Thats not my point. While this is true- the makeout part should be the least of your concern. The baggy clothes- along with bad grades = bad influences around him. My son is 14, hes been smoking pot since 10 (thanks to his mother i come to find out this year). He's not only been kicked out of school for gang activity- he's been kicked out of secondary school for possesion of marajuana. Now he's attending the school for the really bad kids- one step before juvenile hall.
He's into the extra baggy, gansta_i_wanna_be_a_criminal look and hes getting failing grades in seconday school- because he just doesn't want to do the work. Not only is does my son hate me- i'm starting to hate him. Its not very healthy, I"ve tried all i can but him mom protects him, deny's his shorcomings and doesn't react when he does badly. - and her excuse for the marajuana use is "id rather have him doing it at home" but the problem i have with that is- her exposing it to a 10 year old sends the wrong message to him. Now hes an addict and has went down the wrong path. He's been caught with a gun, and a knife, by police. He's ran away every single time i tried to punish him . To the point the police department knows me by first name. He only has the ghetto'ist of friends, and this IS his environment, because its his choice- Despite the fact he lives in an upper middle class neighborhood- and has had good cirucumstances (until lately) He chooses to do bad, and to be bad and act ignorant. Drug test your son is my first advice. If he's on them, consider sending him into a different environment. I would've if i could have- but it took his mothers approval and she didnt want to be away from him.. Too bad, another life is ruined. I just hope he doesn't grow up and hurt or kill others, carjack, robbing, ect.

Answer 4

Wow this is a big one! How to get a 13 year old boy to keep his hormones in check! My tough was that you are not there, as you stated you were out on a date! #1 Don't take him shopping...lol I do it ,I'm a cool dad lol ...you can have the same clothes, they just don't need to hang down your ***. My sons clothes fit him now...or he has to get them him self. He wont go to school naked , so now he wears them! As for the twin sis..lol she knows they are in it together...lol mine was! She was the only one close and we trusted each other.
Give up a date or two, make dinner and rent a movie, tell them how you really feel about them. Help with there homework!! I help allot...he gets A's and B's You are only 13 once. Now he gets A's ( without my help) and with the less (sorry Hommie look) They both are becoming who they are! Young adults...lol because I made them! Be there for them! Someone was for you?

Answer 5

I have a son thats 13 as well. I raised him pretty well I guess. I keep my son active in sports, music and other things. I let him go to football games. I even spied on him just to see if he was doing something I wouldnt approve of. He did nothing that alarmed me. Hes at an age where he needs your support. Show him you care. Not saying you dont but show him. Get him involved in sports or something he likes to do. If hes making out hes probably having sex. Dont yell at him, instead you have to demand respect. Educate him on sex and protecting himself. Let him know about HIV and STD's. Dont allow his 'boys' to tell him because he will stray. Get him now or you will lose him ma.

Let me know if you need anything further. [e-mail]

Answer 6

Please don't take this as criticism, but please take a look at yourself and make sure you're presenting the kind of example you want him to follow. You may be, I don't know, but I find it odd you complain about his having a girlfriend when you just came home from a date.

As for yelling and grounding him -- for what? Were girls off limits? Did he know that? Please make sure that if you yell at him or enact punishment, it's for things he knew were wrong. You need to provide leadership and a good example with clear rules that are easy to follow.

But if he's making out, there's no way you're going to stop him. Telling him he can't do it just means he's going to hide it from you. Be pragmatic about this.

The biggest problem is how he's doing in school. How do you encourage good schoolwork? Do you lead by example? Do you reward positive behavior? (By saying, "Great job", not with some form of cash reward, btw.)

Answer 7

Remember when you were 13 I'm sure you were doing stuff too. You can yell at him but you can't stop him from making out. If you are worried about him having sex, talk to him, or if you think he'll be weirded out by his mom talking to him about sex, get him some information or get someone older you think he'd be comfortable hearing it from talk to him and let him know he shouldn't rush into anything and he needs to be safe.

I suppose if you really want to keep him from having sex, you could punish him and not allow him to go out or have company unless he pulls his grades up.

Answer 8

No offence to you at all, sweetie, I know being a single mom is tough. I think a positive male role model needs to talk to him. Whether it be his father, grand father or your boyfriend. Boys usually respond better to men that women. They feel like since we are the opposite sex, we can't understand. If this does not help or is not possible, talk to the school guidance counselor. They know how to help or where to tell you to get help. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 9

***** you shouldnt have grounded your son for just making out with his girl friend. I hope he is doing her every night.

Answer 10

I would delegate to his sister the task of making sure he gets off enough on his own, that he doesn't have any drive left for strange women. They are twins, it shouldn't be too weird