what do i do about my druggie guy?

Question

So i love this guy, he says he loves me too. We were friends at first and then the relationship developed. I really love him but hes kinda into the whole drug stuff and he is only 15! I also know the guy whos giving him the drugs and have asked him to stop but he wont! My guy wont stop taking the drugs no matter how much i ask him too but i know we both love each other because when he was clean i could see it, i dont know what to do about him and hate it that i cant help him! i cant tell anyone because then he will get into major trouble!

x...X...x15yr old gurl UKx...X...x

Answer 1

Honey, STOP. Read this, whatever you do. I know that a lot of people who ask questions over the internet don't take the advice they get seriously, but just hear me out, ok?

Obviously, when you met your boyfriend, you loved him for who he was then. I'm sure you thought he was a wonderful person. He was probably kind to you and respected you and when you first got together you thought nothing could go wrong.

But then he got into drugs. Ok, first of all, the alarm bells are flashing right there. If someone is willing to do something as life-wrecking as drugs, it is a serious possibility that they are also willing to engage in various other types of shady behavior, such as physical abuse, alchoholism, crime, etc.

I AM NOT SAYING THAT THIS GUY IS A BAD PERSON! He was probably a great guy before the drugs came along. But when a person does drugs, they change a LOT. Drugs make people do things they would never normally do. This is why people use them, and this is what makes them so dangerous.

And I don't mean to sound accusatory, but it's possible that what you think is love might be the remnants of what USED to be love, but now is just a memory.

Girl, for your own sake I suggest that you get out of this relationship, and FAST. Frankly I'm amazed that so far you've been strong enough to stay off of drugs yourself, and I admire that. It is NOT your fault that he does drugs and it is NOT your responsibility to get him off of them. I understand that you will feel guilty about leaving someone in need, but remember that your guy is still a minor and his parents are still responsible for him, NOT YOU. This is very hard for someone as young as you to do. The best thing you can do right now is to tell a trusted adult that he is doing drugs. If he gets the right help, maybe he can get clean and then you can continue the relationship. If he really and truly loved you at all then he wouldn't have gotten into drugs in the first place because that would mean risking YOU and when you love someone you can't afford to take those kinds of risks. And if you really loved him then you'd do what is best for him, which is tell someone QUICKLY and get him into rehab.

I am sorry if I sounded mean or pushy. I really wanted to help. And I feel really bad for you. But trust me, I know quite a bit about these things. You are precious and deserve to be treated with care and respect. No druggie, however good of a person they are, can give you the star treatment that you deserve.

Remember that above all god loves you very much, more than any man ever could and there is someone amazing out there that God has in store just for you. He wants you to be happy and if you ask he will give you the guidance that you seek. You have done nothing purposefully wrong. God knows that in our naievity (ignorance) humans often make mistakes. It's ok, he will forget the whole situation if you truly are sorry and wish it had never happened.

I also suggest seeing a therapist. They are not for "loonies". I would know, since I go to one ever week. She's really nice and also, SHE WON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT ANYTHING YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT (IT'S AGAINST THE LAW). Unless it has something to do with someone being in danger.

I am praying for you tonight, and I promise to send you a smile tommorow morning. If you live outside of the united states then my morning might not be your morning, but I think you'll feel it anyway. Just know that someone is on your side. I sincerely hope this gets cleared up.

God Bless :)

Answer 2

Honey, he's got a loooong road ahead of him. No matter how much you love him, he's going to love the drugs more. They are physically addictive and it will take way more than just talking to him to get him to stop. This problem WILL turn into other problems (drinking, being broke all the time, stealing, lying, doing more serius drugs, aggressive behavior, using being high as an excuse to do anything he damn well pleases to, blaming you for his use, possibly luring you into use, etc.) Usually, people hooked on drugs aren't doing them anymore for recreational or social purposes, but are hiding some kind of serious hurt they have inside. That issue would have to be tackled first. You are so young. Please, find someone else. Believe me, this will only lead to heart ache. Do you ever watch that show "Intervention?" It's a trip 'cause most of the time, the people come out of rehab and are right back at their habits again, despite the SERIOUS consequences and losses they will have to endure. I know its easier said than done to just tell you to leave him. I was in a relationship for five years hoping and hoping he'd change, but he never did and I'm not sure he ever will. Don't hurt yourself, please, it's just not worth all the damage it will do to you.

Answer 3

Hi, Nobody can make your boyfriend quit drugs. Only he can do that, and until he is ready all the harping in the world will be for naught. You deserve better than to be with someone whose priority in life is drugs. He is incapable of loving anyone except his drugs right now. You are on a slippery slope spending your time with a drug addict. Have you heard the saying, "One bad apple in the barrel will make all the other apples go bad." It never works the other way around. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Please Darling, turn around and run away....

My daughter is 18 and got caught up in the drug scene. She was a competitive figure skater on her way to great things and was sucked up into the drug world and spit out. Went to jail, rehab and is now trying to get her life together...all because she was trying to help a BOY to change. Her "Boy" is now in prison and she could have been too...thank G-d she was 16 when she was caught or else she probably would be in prison too- or dead by now.

He won't be the only love in your life, Hun. Move on to someone who doesn't use. He'll never love you as much as he loves drugs and if he did, he'd be clean by now.

Answer 5

Sorry to have to inform you of this, but you are probably already aware of it anyway, but he cares more for the drugs then he does of you. That is the life of people who abuse substances, their number 1 love is the drug of choice. You can stomp your feet all you want but until he is ready to clean up he will not. You can suggest that he seeks help out but he must be ready and willing to do so before he will take this step. And if he is into the heavy stuff now believe me it will only get worse before it gets better.

Answer 6

No amount of "love" can overcome a drug problem. Dump him and find someone without so much baggage. Love feelings aren't the only thing that's important in a relationship. If he won't quit for you he is proving he loves his drugs more than you.

Answer 7

He won't stop doing drugs. They are more important than you it seems. Find someone else or deal with the consequences.

Answer 8

am sure he will stop just tell him what the drug will do to him if he don't stop

Answer 9

tell him that if he don't quit that you will leave him and if he doesn't then actually leave him. your to young to have to deal with a man who won't quit doing drugs.

Answer 10

Tell him that its either you or the drugs! ^_^ Take action!