Stressed out about my wedding 3 weeks away!!?

Question

I am getting married in 3 weeks and what has started off as a simple small wedding has turned into much more than that. My mom has made my wedding into this huge event that even I'm no longer looking forward to attending. I'm an extremley shy person and only wanted my close family and friends there to celebrate my big day with me and my mom and "wedding planner" have invited all these people. They keep telling me that I want this but I keep telling them I don't. They just wouldn't listen. Now I have this huge wedding with this huge reception and my mom has told me two days ago that now I have to pay for my cake and DJ. Granted I know both so got a really good price and only need $550 but how in the heck do I get that money in 3 weeks? I'm so stressed out and when people ask me if I'm excited and I can't help but say "not really". I just want it to be over with!! Not to mention my fiancee and I are young and had our first child young and we just wanted something small and simple

Answer 1

Not to be harsh, but you are the one who let it get to this point. At three weeks away, there is nothing you can do but go through with it or call it off.

Answer 2

You should have put your foot down on all this some time ago but at 3 weeks there is still time especially if no money has changed hands. If there is time cancel the big show and go with the small thing you wanted.

Unfortunately it sounds like it is too late to make changes so the best I can tell you is to ask you doctor for some sort of tranquilizer or an anxioty(sp) reliever you could take the night before and sleep andnot be so tense the next day, because it looks like you might be stuck with the big production number

Relax, Remembe everyone there is rooting for you and happy for you so relax and do not let it stress you out. Are you going to say I DO to the man you Love? Is he gonna say the same to you? That is all you need to know about. They want a big thing tell them I wanted small so this big affair is all on you just tell me when to show up. Then go to a nice day spa, get your hair done and get in the limo and show up. No stress, I mean it that is all you have to do and if you do that none of the rest really matters at all so leave it to those who want it and take it easy so you can enjoy your day. Trust me and you will not have any stress and it will still work out grand. Congratulations

Answer 3

Im so so sorry to hear about that!! You should have NEVER EVER let anyone take over your vision of your wedding. They turned it into an event they want you to have not what you want to have. I think your mom should come up with that money since she and the wedding planner are the ones who turned your small intimate wedding into a huge extravaganza. Since its three weeks away there is nothing that you can do. Ecspecially since people are already invited. Well all you can do is pray about it and you should also tell your mother how you feel. Sounds like your mother is a control freak. Well good luck! Before your wedding day you should go to a spa and try to relax. Also remember that the only important thing about your wedding day is marrying the man that you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with thats the important thing! As long as you two are married forget the superficial stuff! God bless!

Answer 4

I know how you feel about your mom letting it get big! My mom has been planning her wedding through mine. I finally had to sit down and tell her how I felt. The best advice for the cake is to make it yourself or see if any of your friends know how to make it. I was lucky enough to have someone offer to give us that as a wedding present, she just isn't a professional baker but she makes awesome cakes! That would cut down on the $550. It also brings back part of the 'small' wedding. Remember also that not everyone will show up to the wedding. And once you are walking down the aisle, you won't even notice everyone there! Good luck!

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that. It is true that people always seem to think that everyone "wants" things this or that way - you're not the first or the last one to encounter it. My husband and I are in our 30s, we just got married in September, and neither of us wanted a big wedding; I'd been married before, and it wasn't a big wedding either, I don't like big stressful events. However, his parents still tried to change our minds, and talk us into having a big "real" wedding; his mom went as far as suggesting we would "regret" it later. But believe me... there's nothing to regret, we had an informal untraditional wedding, and had a blast. Sometimes you just have to be firm, and stand your ground. I know it's not easy when you're dealing with people who are close to you, who mean well, and who seem to "know better".

That said, I think you will have fun at your wedding. It's a bit too late to turn back now - so don't let stress ruin it for you; just try your best to relax and have fun. It's good that you have people helping you. In the future, you will learn to be more independent in making your decisions, it takes a bit of practice to do things *your* way without offending people who wish you well but whose advice does not necessarily match your desires. Right now, try not to worry, and enjoy the moment. Congratulations!

Answer 6

i might sound stupid but i would say about the the money thing talk to your mom about it. about you not wanting it to be such a big event understandable after all it's your wedding and you have all the right in the world to plan your wedding but honey do you remember the day when you were born you didn't but your parents planned that didn't they , at that time they must have thought they'll see you looking ravishing in that bridal gown, she must be thinking she'll buy you the best jewellery a princess could ahve she must have planned all those things since you were a little girl, i would say let her have this chance go with it, parents usually do good for their kids and now that you have a kid of your own you must be understanding that yourself, yes when it comes to plan your kids wedding do remmeber what your mom did but you can decide it after your wedding if you want to do what your mom did to you or what you wanted for yourself.
you can spend your honeymoon in whatever way you want wherever you want go have fun on your wedding and splurge this is for the first time you're going to be treated like an actual princess dress up and kiss your groom....
have a wonderful life ahead....read this book if you get a chance

Answer 7

First take a deep breath, then A) tell your hubby- to- be to "man up" and deal with his brother because what you have described is not acceptable B)Get your parents a simple keepsake. You want to thank them for bringing you this far in life and credit them for who you've become. Give your bride maids gift cards for spa services. C) try your dress on, you have time to gain or lose weight D)If you're quitting your job to go to another then short notice is okay, not the best but okay. If you need to, put it in writing. About your nerves, just focus on the positives, this person you are marrying thinks that you are good wife material or he wouldn't have asked you right? Stop making your life so complicated with all of your self absorbed thinking. There are people going hungry and homeless in your community and there a so many problems in this world. Focus on your blessings and your fortune. Smile, be grateful for your health, your parents, your fiance, your friends. Good luck!

Answer 8

Sorry, but this just shows how mature you aren't. If you were grown-up, you would just have planned the wedding you and your fiance wanted, at the budget which you could have afforded yourselves. You will have to deal with this "mother" thing before you can go on with your own life as a wife and mother yourself - you are way too much under her thumb, obviously. You need to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Your poor man!

Answer 9

I took off and got married, with out, telling anyone in my family or his, for that very reason. Then when you come home from your rest full week end, all you have to do is make a few calls. You could leave your mother a voice mail or a hand written note. Notes are good, lets you get all the things you have on your "chest" with out the face to face.
Try it out, you'll be glad you did. :)

Answer 10

I would ask your mom to front you the money until you can pay her back. Mention to her that you didn't realize that it was an expense for you. Don't worry she will front it for you. You need to just relax, your getting married and your wedding is going to be beautiful..... and since the guest list is final, look at the positive side that just means more gifts for you and your family.
Congrats.