I believe chivalry is dead. Is it truly dead?

Question

I am 29 years old have been dating for the past two years after coming out of a 6 year relationshop. I can't believe the amount of men who don't bother to open doors, say thank you to waiters, give compliments or even bother to call to say they are late or even disinterested. I have zero hope in chilvarly, I beg you to prove me wrong. Stories of chilvarous acts would be great!

Answer 1

I think it is dead. I am from Latin America, where guys are usually very polite. I came here to the US and I have been very disappointed. Guys do not open doors for girls. I even made a test: out of 10 guys where they were with a girl or a girl/woman was behind them, only 4 opened the doors for them. Guys have slammed the doors in my face. A couple of months ago I was in crutches...two guys saw me that I was behind them, and did they opened the door for me?? NOOO...they slammed the door and had to opened the door with my hurt foot. From that point...very disappointed.

Answer 2

Well, I don't know where u r hon, but here in Charleston, SC, chivalry is alive and well. For instance, the guy I'm dating always picks up the check (even though I try to get it sometimes), he always opens doors for me and will tell you it bothers him when you don't let him. He is all about doing whatever he can for his lady, and for my family. He even helps with the kids! He calls when he is late, calls when something comes up, and if he can't make our plans due to illness or emergency he apologizes profusely and then makes it up to me. Guess you need to come here for some good ol southern boys! And he isn't a young buck either, he's in his 30's but I've dated younger ones (20's) that are the same way. Must be Charleston!

Answer 3

Im 27 and i must say that most men around my age have Zero respect for women. Maybe its because of my mother and sister that I insist on opening doors and such, it is the proper thing to do no matter what. There are certain rules that a man must adhere too, Most men i know believe that the Bar scene/dating scene has basically destroyed the concept of a woman even worthy of being treated as such, why bother being nice to a woman who was rubbing her *** on other mens groins for drinks all night? I personally haven't drank for almost 6 years so when i go to the bar it is basically pointless, I dont have the booze in me necessary to lie my way to nookie. Oh id have to lie because i dont drive. But i have pumped gas for old ladies, carried stuff out of stores, pushed cars out of ditches and still insist on waiting for any females to get inside before leaving all with no apparent benefit to myself other than piece of mind. It is a shame that the basic rules of being a man are being eroded by political correctness and Nazi-feminists. But i do know a few other real men, we are out there chivalry is not dead just harder to find.

Answer 4

I also have had similar experiences but I do know a man who is very chivalrous. My brother-in-law always opens the door for my sister, for me, or any female. He also always pushes her chair in when we eat at a restaurant. He calls her everyday at work to let her know that he loves her. He sends her flowers all the time for no reason at all. I could go on and on. Although you and I have not found one I am hoping there are still a few more out there. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Feminists MOSTLY killed it. Sorry. Blame b***** like Steinem for that.

I hold the door for not only my wife but other women too. I give up my seat if a pregnant or elderly person needs it, I let people in in traffic, I help if I see someone struggling to carry something, I stop my car and help push someone out of traffic if their car is broken down.

Unfortunately, women so rarely encounter this anymore they think I am some sort of weirdo for offering and sometimes freak out. Sad but true. Men have been MOSTLY reduced to two types : jerks or wimps. I was in the wimps category for quite some time while al lthe girls dated the jerks. I had been told from maybe 1978-1993 that women didn't like chivalry, they didn't want to be treated like "ladies", they didn't want guys to do sweet things for them and hold doors, carry heavy stuff, etc. Like a fool I (and MANY other guys) believed it. I finally smartened up.

One time I saw a woman who just couldn't get her 2 year old to stop running around in a parking lot while she was carting a TV out to her van. I corralled the kid (she was alarmed, at first - rather him be hit by a car?) and I loaded the TV in her van. I think she was shocked that I wasn't trying to have sex with her or something, that I was really just being a nice guy. Sad that she had likely never seen that before.

I also came across a woman who's car was broken down in the center lane of a three-lane highway, causing a major traffic backup. She was hysterical inside her car and thought someone would hit her and she was scared to get out. I pulled off the side, stopped traffic in the right lane, and pushed her off to the side. People in the right lane were yelling stuff - what, you can't wait 2 min to clear the road? I let her use my cell phone to call her father and I waited with her until he came. When I left you'd think I was the nicest guy she'd ever met - she simply couldn't believe it - she wanted to give me her number as if she might never find a nice guy again in her life. Her father, however, obviously remembered when guys like that were common and this act was nice, but unspectacular.

Answer 6

I have been dating a wonderful woman for five months. Not once have I not opened the car door when I pick her up, I always open the door for her, pull her chair out for her, and do corny things like leave notes in her lunch so she can read them at work, among a lot of other small things like that. Keep waiting. He's out there.

Answer 7

Chivalry was originally a code of conduct knights imposed on them self. And, frankly, in our time, with women's lib and all, it doesn't really apply like it once did to how men and women conduct them self towards each other. Lack of manners, decency or being plain rude is another matter.

Answer 8

Its really funny the last person posted about Charleston, I was thinking to myself... chivalry is definitely alive and thriving there, every guy i ever met from there has been beyond polite and accommodating. I am from the NE, so I am really unaccustomed to that... Good job Charleston!

Answer 9

Sorry, but I agree with you. The majority of women have showed thru whom they choose to date that chivalry isn't necessary. Women may like it, but they don't expect it, and since they don't expect it they continue with being ok with, and date guys that are not chivalrous.

Answer 10

chivalry as principle died when women wanted equal rights. its sad, but try. for myself, i have been with the same girl for 6 years now and i still open doors for her, remove her coat and help with her chair at restaurants. i think the rest is just being polite.