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I know that I still love her, but, want to respect her decision and avoid the common mistep of losing my dignity and self respect. Also, if i see a candle of hope in the relationship, how do I reignite it?

2006-11-27 07:48:19 · 16 answers · asked by jackal32 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

Let me clarify my question? My girlfriend want to break up with me after 5 years. She wants to come over tonight and break up in person. I know because we talked about it last night. I want to avoid the break up but her saying that she doesn't love me anymore last night might have put any thoughts or reconciliation to pasture. I want to respect her decision but want try to rekindle the feelings. She says that she is still attracted to me and doesn't want to hurt me. How do I deal with losing my father to cancer and my girlfriend in the same month?

2006-11-27 09:23:13 · update #1

16 answers

sorry about your father,
but you have already lost your girlfriend...
let her be, respect her decision
and MOVE ON
`

2006-11-27 11:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by lola l 1 · 1 0

if she wants to break up, there's probably a good reason why, and although i can understand why you don't want to see it, maybe if you take a good hard look then you will realise what it is. if its something that you have no control over, like maybe that you want different things and have changed over time, then there's nothing you can do. as you say, you need to respect her decision and come out of this with dignity, so you just have to start making steps to getting over the relationship.
if maybe you can't see what's wrong then ask her...just say something like "what do you think would improve our relationship?" and see what she says. if it's something you're doing wrong then this is your chance to try and solve it, but only if she wants you to.
if she's making it clear that she doesn't want to speak to you and that there is no way you can sort this out, then it's probably something that has changed for her that you might not even be aware of, so there's nothing you can do. But, if you haven't broken up yet, then try and remember what things were good at the start of your relationship and what brought you together, and try to recreate that a bit.
If she will let you, then just talk to her. None of us are psychic, and by talking you might help sort things out just by finding out what each other are thinking and feeling about the relationship.
Good Luck :)

2006-11-27 16:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by sky_blue 2 · 0 0

your question's a tad bit unclear -- but I think you're saying she's broken up with you but you're hoping you can find a way to get her back? My advice is this: if she's breaking up with you after FIVE long years, then she's had time to think about it, and she doesn't love you anymore. It sucks. Really. However, attempting to get her back is only prolonging the inevitable. You cannot change her feelings. If you successfully convince her to come back even for a week, that week will be forced, fake, and utterly disasterous. Don't lose your dignity, it will be for naught.

Work on getting over her. It's going to suck to all of a sudden be single, but working through it will teach you a few things about yourself and about your next relationship.

2006-11-27 15:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you don't because if you have to "re-ignite it" after only 5 years then the possibility of this happening again in the future is very very high, best to get it over with, sulk for awhile then get back "out there" to meet another girl, just make sure you have learned from this past relationship, strengthen what tended to be your weakness and never stop being yourself

2006-11-27 15:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 0 0

If she doesn't love you and you have been dating for 5 years then there is not much hope but you can always try. Think about why she wouldn't like you anymore and try to fix it. If you love her and she loves you then the problem is solved! ^_^ Good Luck!

2006-11-27 15:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by ilovemcr214 2 · 0 0

If you still love her then tell her how you fell about what you think. If she don't want to listen then give her a little space. She might be going through some things.

2006-11-27 15:51:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Move on. If she doesn't want to continue, show your love and respect for her and quietly move on to other things. Don't whine and cry and wait for it to rekindle. You will do her the best by just moving on.

2006-11-27 15:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by Amelia 1 · 1 0

If you don't want to lose your dignity and self respect; you should respect her decision, whatever it may be.

2006-11-27 15:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by Ankhesenamun 2 · 0 0

You need to be more specific. We do not know you and you need to tell us what decision are you trying to respect her on.

2006-11-27 15:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by JM 2 · 0 0

try and do things that you used to do a long time ago and do new stuff that youve never done. a change of pace usually helps a relationship

2006-11-27 15:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by Beauty in the Breakdown 2 · 0 0

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