My husband is dying, we have a one adult daughter, does his family have the right to make burial arrangements?

Question

We, my husband and I do not live together.

Answer 1

If you remain married, you legally trump all others. However, if he is following family advice and provided he remains alive and of sound mind, if he is willingly signing arrangement documents, there's not a lot you can do. Following that, you are next in line and have the right to handle this matter. However, if they want to make the arrangement and pay the bills, and since you don't live together, then would it really matter? You'll still inherit his estate unless they want to try to take you to court.

Answer 2

I am sorry for your impending loss, at times like this you should all be helping to support each other..I hope that you can all reach an agreement that suits.

Legally as his wife, unless he has given a power of attorney to a family member you should be the one making the decisions. However in times like these I think it is best for the family and spouse to work out all the arrangements together...this helps everyone to cope with the loss and helps to bring closure.

My grandmother passed a few years ago, she and my grandfather have been seperated for 20 years but never got divorced (per their religious backgrounds). All of her children and my grandfather got together and gave their thoughts and opinions on everything from flowers, casket, head stone...etc...in the end the most favored ideas were kept and voted on and that is what was done...they also divided up the expenses after insurance and each child paid part.

I don't think any one person should make all the decisions, any that are made should be cleared with you and your daughter. Also by sharing the responsibilities it will help to lighten your load, but by no means should you be excluded all together.

Good Luck to you, may you find peace and comfort in each other.

Blessed Be!

Answer 3

My little sister died from breast cancer at age 47. My Mother almost collapsed. So what you are feeling is normal, even though it's incredibly painful. There are stages of going through loss and they come in no specific order. You get angry, hurt, donot believe or accept what happened, then finally at some point you accept what's happened. I'm so very sorry about your loss. I still get tears in my eyes even though it's been 1 1/2 years since my sister died. My Mother still gets upset about it too. The grave vandals will be taken care of by GOD. Don't worry about it. If it were me I'd keep cleaning the gravesite. One day the vandals will have to pay the price for such incomprehensible dishonor. If your husband left then maybe you're better off. If he didn't care then he does not need to be with you. One day another man will walk into your life but first you'll have to gather your emotions over your daughter's death before you can handle another relationship. Add up your loses, then gather your forces, and you try again. You will succeed. Just don't give up, don't ever give up.

Answer 4

You are his wife, whether you two are seperated or not, You are still legally married. Regardless of how the family feels about you, it is your WIFELY Duty to bury your husband. His side of the family will get over it. Only way they can make arrangements is if he gave them power of attorney to do so over you. If not, go right ahead and do what you as a wife are suppose to do for your husband. Whether you live together or not is not even a consideration at this point. It's about how you and that beautiful daughter of your's say your final goodbye's.

Answer 5

Because you are still legally married, you are considered "next of kin". His family may not see it that way, but this is just in the legal sense. I'm no attorney, but I've had family members die, and there is a legal protocol when it comes to who can and who can not deal with making these types of arrangements.
If you are on good terms with his family, then by all means take into account their suggestions, but the assumption is always that the spouse would be the best person to know what the dying person would have wanted for their funeral. Now if he had a will spelling all of this out, then it wouldn't matter. You would have to follow his instructions per the will.

All the best to you and your family!

Answer 6

Well, first of off... Im very sorry to hear that about your husband, and I wish nothing but the best for you!
I think that they should have a say in it but, when it come's down to it, it should be you and your daughter and your husbands place to say that. You are his family... They, shouldn't make the burial arrangements without consulting you and your daughter first.. You are part of his life too! And for that fact a (Big) part cause, you guy's are married and have a daughter together. But, all in all I think it should be up to your family (Your husband, you, and your daughter)
Best of luck to you!!!

Answer 7

Does he have anybody as his power of attorney? If not ya his family has every right to make the burial arrangements.

Answer 8

I am really sorry to hear this. I send my prayers. Since each state has its own laws it's hard to say. From what I know if you are still married the wife usually makes those types of decisions. Unless he has it in a living will or will that says otherwise and you are really adamant about it try looking on a website like findlaw.com or Andersons and see what your local revised code says.

Answer 9

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's illness.
If you are still married, then I would say that you would be the one in charge unless of course he legally gave that right to his daughter.

It may be a hard time but the easiest way to resolve any potential conflict would be to ask your husband what he wants.

If you are estranged, then I would leave it up to his daughter.

Answer 10

Oh, I am so sorry for your family. If you two are divorced, then I would think this is acceptable, but if you are still married, then I would make the arrangements and maybe let them help in the decision making. God Bless