Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.
When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "uh-oh," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
2006-11-27 07:31:25 · 12 answers · asked by babegirl 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Drunk
A man is at a bar, having some drinks. After a couple hours he's pretty drunk and starts to feel like he's going to be sick. He rushes into the bathroom but doesn't quite make it to a sink in time and pukes all over his shirt. As he's slouched against the wall trying to clean his shirt off with wet paper towels, another man comes in the bathroom.
The drunk says to the other in a slurred voice, "Maaan my (hiccup) wife issh gonna (hiccup) kill me!"
The other man says to the drunk, "Listen, what you need to do is put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket. When you come home tell your wife that some drunk guy puked on you and gave you the twenty to pay for the cleaning bill."
The drunk says, "Shay! Thas a great idea! Thans misser!"
The drunk finishes wiping the puke off his shirt and puts a twenty in his breast pocket. Feeling relieved about the situation and also feeling a little better, the man leaves the bathroom and has a couple more drinks.
Later that night the drunk staggers in the door to find his wife waiting up for him.
As soon as she sees him she starts yelling at him, "Look at you! You're a mess, you lousy drunk! How many times have I told you not to go out and get drunk like this? Who is going to clean that shirt?"
"Look hon, you got it all wrong. Thish guy at the bar, he pukes all over me and he givesh me twenty bucks to pay the cleaning bill," the drunk says to her while pointing at his breast pocket.
"Oh really?" she says, "Then what is the other twenty for?"
"Oh, thas from the guy that s**t in my pants!"
2006-11-27 07:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by Rico Toasterman JPA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really funny
2006-11-27 15:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by Gustav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol thats funny
2006-11-27 15:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha, thats funny
2006-11-27 15:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww thats gross, but very funny!!
2006-11-27 15:40:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was funny lmao
2006-11-27 15:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
2006-11-27 15:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ROTFL LMBO LOL AND EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE LAUGHING THING! OMG THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!
2006-11-27 15:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol..funny!
2006-11-27 15:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was excellent lol.
2006-11-27 17:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋