Got any good attorney jokes???

Question

I'm applying to law school right now, and I've wanted to be an attorney since I was 11 years old. I know attorneys have their stereotypes..."talkative, money-grubbing, sleazy, liars", but I'm willing to join in the laughs.

Tell me some good attorney jokes!

Answer 1

Well down here in the South, how do you get a lawyer down out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Answer 2

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.

He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it. "How much," he asks.

"It's only ten dollars," says the shopkeep, "but there's any ancient legend that goes-"

"I don't have time," says the guy, "here's your money."

"No," says the shopkeep, "I really have to warn you about-"

"Whatever," says our hero, and walks out of the store with the rat statue.

Suddenly some rats started following him.

He shrugged it off, and continued on his way.

As he walked along, more and more rats started following him, until all the rats in the city were behind him.

He suddenly realized that it was the statue that was doing this.

He headed towards the bay that resided next to the city, and threw the statue in. The rats followed, not caring about their immediate deaths.

The guy ran back to the store, and when he reached it, the store owner said, "Now I'll be you're ready to hear all about that statue".

The guy shook his head, and said,
"No, no, I just want to know if you have an attorney statues."

Answer 3

when the lawyer went 2 the dentist to take out the tooth
the lawyer said:
do u swear 2 pull the tooth , the whole tooth , and nothing but the tooth!

Answer 4

How go you know a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start..

.

Answer 5

here's a word from the redneck dictionary: attorney
if I were magic attorney a into a beer.
attorney