my best freind has been in love with me for a lil over 3 years, he has seen me heartbroken, in love, and it hurts him each time. i love him, but his religion forbids him to be with me. he kisses me, totally against his religion, but he always says he cant have a relationship with me. and i wont convert. we always used to say that one day i will be marrying someone and then at the alter he will rush in to save me from a starcrossed marriage. i am done waiting. should i stop him from trying to kiss me, and show him i wont do this tango anymore, or just put off the guy im with, just for him to say hes not ready?
2006-11-27 07:13:30 · 14 answers · asked by harasgirl2001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1. It sounds like he has his own inside battle. But you got to ask yourself if your best friend is the one you really want. It sounds like he's having a battle between being faithful to a religion that would tie him down and being faithful towards his feelings. If you want him you should tell him that you won't convert, but that he needs to be his own person despite what his holy book is telling him. Religion always tells that their god is forgiving, well then his God would forgive him for going for the one person he loves.
2. If you have a boyfriend then why are you going about kissing another guy? It sounds like your being unfaithful to both of these guys, which one do you like better? If you're being unfaithful to both your guy friend and your boyfriend then it sounds like you don't want either of them but like the attention your getting. Dump the guy your with and go find a guy that you would love to be with forever.
3. Don't play with your emotions. If you aren't emotionally ready to be pulled around by a guy who wants to play 'innocent' with his religion (which I totally hate all those crappy rules religion supposedly has). Then don't go for him. It sounds like he'd rather be in his religion then with the girl he loves. I wouldn't go for that at all.
2006-11-27 07:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you feel about your best friend. You say he's in love with you and that you live him... but not that you are in love with him. If you are in love with him, too..then it's totally unfair of you to get involved with anyone else. If there is no way for you and best friend to ever be together...because you won't convert...then I think you should cut bait and run. The very idea that you would leave some poor guy at the alter is horrible and shows that you live in fairytale land where you are the princess and your prince charming will sweep you off of your feet. You need to do a lot of growing up....and so does your friend...before either of you think of commiting to each other or anyone else.
2006-11-27 07:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People that truly love one another will move heaven and earth to be together. It sounds like you really do like each other, and have a love for each other.
However, is it truly a romantic love? A love that says I want to have your kids, and grow into old age with you? Or is it more of a minimal strings attached puppy love crush?
True love is not the butterfly in the stomach rush. True love is more practical and comfortable then that. Being in love with someone else should feel natural. The thought of not marrying them, should never enter your mind, the marriage is just the continuum of your love for one another.
2006-11-27 07:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by bk1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop him from kissing you and show him that a decision has to be made. You are either just friends or you are friends that are in a serious relationship, but you are no longer friends with benefits.
He has to make a choice, are you the one and the religion getting in the way or is he really not going to follow his heart and if he isn't going to follow his heart then you need to move on and find a guy that will follow his heart and love you no matter what he has to over come for you.
2006-11-27 07:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i became not a runaway bride yet have wanted for years I were. it ought to have kept various of heartache and suffering on my section. in spite of the indisputable fact that the church became complete that day and my mom and father had paid for the marriage and reception so I stood there and suggested I do at the same time as i rather did not. i ought to have left many situations after the marriage yet i became obdurate because my mom and father did not have self belief we may very last. Now, 40-one years later we are nonetheless mutually and raised 2 little ones. My mom and father were good about my marriage, i became not chuffed. I did this to myself. i rather must have grew to develop into and run. Poppy
2016-11-27 02:04:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should put off the guy you are with, not because your best friend is not ready.....but because you arent! you cannot marry someone when you are in love with someone else. this would not be fair to anyone involved. AND this "best friend" is no friend at all. if he really cared about you, he would stop kissing you and leading you on. if religion is an important factor, and it sounds like it is, then move on from both. you will find someone that you really love and really loves you.
2006-11-27 07:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by rbmmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll go with the crowd and say dump him. The girl above was right saying that love should be the most important thing in religion, and if his religion is getting in the way, then it will always get in the way. He sounds like a whole bag of trouble.
2006-11-27 07:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by domangelo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him behind. He's is more than confused he has to chose between his religion and his heart and you shouldn't put your life on hold until he finally makes up his mind.
I know people faith and religion is important to them. Be his friend explain to him what you feel, but DO NOT put your life on hold because of him.
If he can't make a sacrifice for you he is not worth sacrificing your current relationship for him. For all you know the current guy might just be the one
2006-11-27 07:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by queenzhottie78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is like Pocahontas and Jonh smith or Romeo and Juliet...If he really loves you his religion shouldn't stop him. Would it be right to dismiss love over a belief. And in most beliefs love is one of the main things. I don't know, it just sounds stupid that he would let that stop him.
2006-11-27 07:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're being used. This guy seems to pick and choose which religious tenet to follow. Dump him and get a real man.
2006-11-27 07:16:11 · answer #10 · answered by Gallifrey's Gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋