im amost possitive my fiancee' is planning on leaving me and our son as soon as he gets his settlement which is in a couple of weeks...He has been acting very cold toward me and has been drinking out of control..he is not the biological father of my son but my son knows him as daddy hes been in his life ever since he was a baby and now hes 4and a half..i am a stay at home mom and am not prepared for what hes about to do to me .i have no family to help me or anything..i have been faithful to him and trying to make this relationship work..im at my wits end.
2006-11-27 07:09:57 · 21 answers · asked by Sexykel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, first you must accept that whatever he is going to do, he is going to do. Next you must decide what you must do in the meantime. Now your concerns may just be concerns and paranoia which could force your worries into becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy by you kinda pushing your fiancee away but then again you could very well be right he might be leaving you and their may be something you can do about it and their may be nothing you can do about it. What you can do is do for yourself and your child that and pray. Other than that you need to find a way not to be at the mercy of other people so that when they make decisions that may or may not effect your emotions they will not have a catastrophic effect on your life. That said wha ever you are going to do you must be willing to do whether he stays or goes for your own benefit. Above beyond that communication ask him if he is going to leave or not and take him at his word. If he asks why would you ask such a thing be honest tell him the truth and be prepared to deal with his feelings and be honest about your own, he might not be who you thought he was, you might not be who he thought you were.
2006-11-27 08:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by t_j_watkins 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry I cant join your pity party. You can apply for employment on line. Until you get on your feet you can apply for services for yourself and your son. I am very surprised that a woman with a child would have no visible means of supporting herself. Being a single mom you always have to plan ahead. Did you just meet this man and he said he would take care of you and your son? Is your sons dad in the picture. Now you need to put a plan into action instead of thinking about how you treated this man while you were in a relationship. Being faithful doesnt pay the bills.
2006-11-27 15:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you shouldn't of chosen him as your fiancee' in the first place. But to fix this up you should probably have a heart to heart with him.
Ask him why he's been cold towards you, was it something you did that offended him? If you're this close to getting married then there must of been something you did, a guy just doesn't break up a marriage plan because he has a drinking binge.
And perhaps you should ask yourself several questions as well. Should you really stay with him and have your son grow up around a drunk? There are always bad-case scenarios around drunk people and their children, perhaps you should be weary of him instead.
2006-11-27 15:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you don't feel close enough to him to speak about this issue and if you can't speak to him because he doesn't want to listen then those are some major issues. You deserve better than to be with a man who does not want to be with you.
You need to learn how to take care of yourself and never rely on a man to do that. When you rely on a man you become "needy" and that might be the main reason he wants to leave you in the first place.
You might start by asking him what it is that you are doing that is driving him away and make an effort to change those things about yourself, if he has a valid argument and if you really want him in your life.
Men are attracted to women that can stand on their own two feet, that support them emotionally and make them feel wanted and feel more of a man, are you treating him that way? Does he deserve to be treated that way? If so, take a look at yourself and make an effort to appreciate him. Do you cook dinner for him? Are you intimate with him on a regular basis? Do you support him and his decisions? If he is a good man then he deserves all of that and more, especially if he supports you and your son.
If you do all of that, he will look forward to being with you and his appreciation should be returned. If it is not a two-way relationship with the giving then it is time to re-evaluate that relationship.
2006-11-27 15:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know hes going to do this to you... while hes at work pack you and your kids stuff take off the ring and leave to another town make sure you leave a note and the ring.
i know its harsh and rude but drinking and saying some words (that id rather not say)when there is a 4and 1 half year old in the house is not the best influance you want for your kid!Do you?
2006-11-27 15:17:41 · answer #5 · answered by Titan Quest Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is what you think is going to happen the only thing you can do is prepare. Look for apartments, jobs, get ready for the worst. Continue to talk and reason with him as much as you can, because you do rely on him for a home and income. You should never put yourself in this position, always have and education, and never rely on others to make you life manageable!
2006-11-27 15:14:41 · answer #6 · answered by _DestroyingAngel_ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to start setting yourself up in case it happens like looking for a job etc. so you can take care of yourself. Never depend on a man unless your married. You need to sit him down when he's sober and talk to him about it. If he does there is nothing you can do. Relationships come and go but just start trying to take care of yourself and your son. It's sad and I wish you and your son the best of luck.
2006-11-27 15:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Venus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know for sure that this is his plan? and if your right confront him, but keep your cool, and find out just whats going on! and if thats your plan if the house is yours kick him out and find biological daddy, he need to pay child support, and I hope you have friends to help out and good luck
2006-11-27 15:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by ♥JENN♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a job and start saving money. if you have to go be an exotic dancer for a couple weekends...its not so bad and save some money so you are not left empty handed. do what you have to do for your kid. he is number 1,. and if he is gonna leave let him and apply for welfare and divorce him and get spousel support.
2006-11-27 15:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny, how we can sorta feel those things coming, huh? Plan to get a job, go back to school, and be able to support yourself....
2006-11-27 15:13:09 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋