I have a girlfriend with two children and an exhusband but her mom runs her life.She is afraid to tell her mother about me even when we have been going out for two months now. I am afraid her mother is going to tell her she doesnt want me in her life.I like her a lot but I am tired of her mother running our lives.what should I DO?
2006-11-27 06:57:39 · 28 answers · asked by wraroo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
RUN RUN RUN
2006-11-27 06:59:42 · answer #1 · answered by haganmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well my friend i think that you should have a serious talk with your girlfriend. Take her out where the two of you can have a mature conversation without getting distracted. Let her know that you care much for her and want to be with her but that you have noticed a few things that are affecting you. Share how you feel and be gentle with your words. remember that you want to sound gentle and considerate and loving not give the impression that you want her to choose between her mother and you ok? so pick your words wisely! Other than that, hold her and let her know that in a couple both of you take care of each other and that you are there for her. She will eventually grow closer to you and detach from mom .. be patient she may be insecure and feel that her mom is the only person that will never betray or hurt or leave her...
2006-11-27 07:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by ahuga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the reason for not letting her mother know about you ,unless she is trying to see if you are really going to be a true real person in her life. perhaps her mother has been there for her as know one else has ! That would mean everything with children involved ,to be able to depend on someone for help --You say you have known her for 2 months --this is good but maybe she has to know in her heart no matter what you are there and will not run out on her know matter what --With in reason...
What I am saying maybe right now if she know you would be everything in her lift that her mom is but more
I bet you would find your relationship a lot stronger.And then she would not be able to wait to tell her mother all the sweet things about you and how you make her fill and not only to her but the children as well
2006-11-27 07:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by jc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your girlfriend about her mother? Apparently her mother seems like a controlling person, but maybe she is just protective? Is your girlfriend afraid of her mother? Are they enablers? Sounds like a lot of baggage, and psychological stuff that has been happening for a long time. Do you really want to deal with it? If so, tell your girlfriend it's time to stand on her own two feet and start acting like a grown up. Either that or find another girlfriend who isn't so emotionally attached to her mother.
2006-11-27 07:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a reason why she doesn't want you to meet her mother. Ask her why. Then if you are serious about her, ask to meet her mother, maybe theres a reason why her mom wants to "help". Also, if she is really too involved, like unhealthy probing, are you going to marry her? You have to be happy in this or d o n t get involved. Sorry, but I know her mom is probably just trying to help. A lot of girls (women) are close to their mothers. Maybe her mom is her best friend. If you want to be her best friend, then talk to her more and find out more about her inside and out. I would need to know more about the situation to answer better. Liking her alot is nice, but is that just a boyfriend thing? or thinking of husband? My dad was like 60 years old and had his mother come over for dinner every week.
2006-11-27 07:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Casper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother is probably the reason she has an EX husband. What does she have to fear from her mother...she is an adult and can go out with whom ever she wants. The mother has NO legal, moral reason to be this deeply involved in her daughters life. Until your girlfriend grows a spine, tho, this woman will continue to control. She really needs to gain control of her own life...possibly by putting some distance between her and her mother. If she refuses to stand up to her mother...my suggestion to you would be to get out of this relationship. This is so unhealthy for her and her children...and also for YOU! I hope she can stop this before her mother has destoyed her life completely
2006-11-27 07:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get the titty out of her mouth and grow up and be an individual and stand up to her mother and be strong enough to run her own life. Does her mom change the kids diapers too? Wow. Tell this girl that you care, but you are an adult and can handle your life on your own and you do not need her mother to make your decisions for you. Maybe she has a low self esteem and needs to work on that g/l
2006-11-27 07:01:20 · answer #7 · answered by pppersephone06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Thats a good question. Being a mother myself, I am hard pressed to tell you to have her stand up to her mother. But on the other hand, if the mother is truely looking out for the best interests of her daughter, she should know when to back off. All children need to learn some things the hard way. Indepence being one of them.
2006-11-27 07:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by aawatson3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a couple of choices:
1. Call up the mother and ask her permission to date her daughter!
2. Break up with this girlfriend and find one who's less attached.
2006-11-27 07:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she know how you feel? I used to live with a guy who's sister ran his life for him. I mean even down to picking up job applications for the possitions that she thought that he should work. And then she started trying to control my life as well. That's when I finally said something to him about it. At that point in time he decided that his sister controlling his life was more important than me being in it. So he kicked me to the curb. Just talk to her about it. You'll find out what her true feelings for you are. quickly
2006-11-27 07:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by mandy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend is intimidated by her mother. Share your opinions with the g/f. If that fails, I recommend you kiss her goodbye and search out another. You are wasting your time. Old dogs sometimes refuse to learn new tricks.
2006-11-27 07:07:02 · answer #11 · answered by Geneisheer4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋