My family is a very Christian family, and I've always been the black sheep. Late in the 70's and early 80's I went down a bad road and shot a few porn films. Someone that has something against me sent those films to my family members and I've been ousted from family gatherings and contact with them. What can I do?
2006-11-27 06:50:55 · 21 answers · asked by Welfare Mamma Drama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you can choose your friends but not your family . . it is wrong for them to treat you that way . . you are blood relation no matter what you do or have done. They are not christians . .they just say they are . . if they were christians then you would never have been ousted but offered love and understanding for your choices in life.
2006-11-27 07:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by Rainy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What CAN you do? Darlin, you are you. Your family really is supposed to love you no matter what. If they don't it's probably because they have issues surrounding how you make them look to other people, thus letting "what will the Wilsons at Church say about her?" take priority over their love for you. Besides, if they'd really been good parents/relatives, you probably wouldn't have felt the need to reach out sexually for fullfillment (not that this is always the case -- there's nothing wrong with pornography or sexuality in a healthy environment).
Families can oust people for horrible reasons. Mine ousted me because I broke up with a guy who wasn't right for me - simply because they thought he was great and was the only person who could keep me "on the straight and narrow."
Yeah, some will tell you that you "need family." What I'll say is you need love. You need acceptance. You need respect. And you can get that from good friends, supportive loved ones and significant others. And...from yourself. Because the better YOUR self esteem, the better off you'll be without those hypocritical, religious zealots (sorry--opinion) who would like you to call them family.
2006-11-27 07:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them. Maybe start with a telephone call or even a letter. Just let them know that you understand that what you did was wrong and that if you could go back and do it all over agian you wouldn't. That you understand how it hurt them and that your sorry for it. But you can't change things. You can only go forward from here. And let them know that you would really like to join in on family gatherings and such. If they are really Christians they will realize that Christ died on the cross to forgive us for our sins. And that every sin is forgivable in him. So if Jesus can forgive you then they should be able to as well.
2006-11-27 06:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by mandy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your family's Christian. They shouldn't be ousting you, they should accept you for you. Hate the sin not the sinner. So you did something a little bit unchristian like, it was a sin, you ask for forgiveness, and you're forgiven. Your family shouldn't oust you because you sinned, everybody does. You should tell them to hate the sin not the sinner. Jesus never ousted people because they were different or because they sinned did he? no. You should explain that being Christian means that sin is bad yes, but if you ask for forgiveness according to the bible, God forgives you. You should also say that Jesus never ousted anybody. Best of luck sweetie!
2006-11-27 07:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, think of your mom and dad looking at the porn on the TV.
And then knowing that time has passed, approach them in an adult manner, and ask them if they would like to talk about the past, if there good people they will accept that all people make mi steaks, and we are allowed, were only human, and NONE of us are perfect..
Remember also, that when er are born into this world, we have no choice of who are parents are, some of us get good understanding ones, and some of us.....well you know the rest..
I wish you the best of luck, and my thoughts are with you..
2006-11-27 07:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by girlscanfishtoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try writing a letter explaining what happened. I'm sure once they know the whole story, everything will work out. If not, seek the loving support of a good friend. Family isn't always right for a person.
2006-11-27 06:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by aawatson3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't sound like a very Christian family. Tell them that you are sorry you hurt/disappointed them. Have you made changes in your life? If they aren't forthcoming with forgiveness, will they want proof that you have changed, or are trying to change? All you can do is appeal to their sense of family and hope that they will find it in their hearts to be forgiving. Remember the saying about "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I hope your family has read that verse.
2006-11-27 06:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's awful that they've decided to exclude you. That was a long time ago and everyone makes bad choices in life. I would remind them that being a Christian is all about forgiveness. Maybe you could be the bigger person and ask them for forgiveness. If they don't change, then pray for them and carry on with your life.
2006-11-27 06:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christians (TRUE CHRISTIANS) are taught to forgive! To hold something against you that you did 25-30 years ago is ridiculous! Everyone makes mistakes...if you learn from your mistakes, they become lessons. You cannot force them to accept you...but I would hold my head high and let them know that you have changed from the person you were decades ago. And as much as you would love to be part of the family again, they should act like true Christians and forgive
2006-11-27 07:12:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can recover from this one. Sounds like your parents and family don't like what you did. Although if they were so christainly they should NOT judge. I hate it when people hide behind the veil of Christainity just so they can hurt others. Your family is wrong, but I don't think you'll be able to mend things with them.
2006-11-27 07:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋