My fiance and I broke up last week. I'm taking this very hard. He said we can be friends. Any suggestions?

Question

We were together for a year and a half, engaged for the past year. He broke up with me, saying that we are incompatible and have nothing in common. I agree that we are pretty different from each other, but I don't think we would've stayed together for a year and a half if we weren't compatible. And why ask me to marry him? Anyways, he said we can still be friends because we enjoy each other's company and we get along. We aren't trying to get back together, but we still want to be in each other's life. I asked him what's the nature of the friendship, and he said it's up to me. I hear guys say they want to stay friends so they won't feel bad for breaking up with their woman even though they don't mean it. I know he didn't break it off because of another woman because I pretended to be another woman hitting on him in a chatroom, but he didn't take the bait. I know it's been a week since the break-up, and I'm still heartbroken. Is it a good idea for us to jump to a friendship?

Answer 1

Hi,
I wouldn't jump to the friendship. Being a guy I know that after some time away you know that the one you had that got away was really the best one for you. Cut him off completely as hard as it may sound. Don't return calls, start seeing the friends you missed, let him know you are fine and don't ask questions. You should have no contact for several months, start dating just to meet new people. If it was the right relationship he will come back but by that time you may have found someone else and everything is in your favor. Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 2

First of all, you can never be just friends with someone you were in love with especially if you had sex with that person. Experience has taught me that. Either you will always hold a special place in your heart for that person or you will be distant from them. It sounds to me that he does not want the responsibility of being committed to you or anyone else. If you are incompatible with a person as a couple than its impossible to be compatible with the same person as a friend. It just does not make any sense. You are better off without him. It will hurt for awhile but as time goes on it gets easier. Make yourself number 1 in your life. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Know your self worth and believe that you deserve better. You will always attract what you think you deserve. As women we deserve a man who will make us feel safe, and treat us with the utmost respect. Also, you don't need a man in your life to make you feel complete. You are complete! Have fun in your life If the right man comes along you will know it because he will always put you first.

Answer 3

nicely if that makes you a foul discern than i'd desire to be a foul mom. all of us says issues they don't propose and additionally you're fortunate on account which you're toddler does not even understand you. do you remember being a young person? i don't recognize in case you had the comparable journey yet i replaced into an emotional harm and that i used to frustrate my mom sooo badly that she used to cuss me out a minimum of as quickly as a week. my mom is the main suitable mom interior the international and the sweetest individual yet all of us has a cut back. you may basically take plenty. sleep deprivation makes all of us depressing and on part. once you're homestead all day with the youngsters you in all probability experience remoted to boot. in keeping with possibility he could spend his time off on my own with the youngsters so he can see what you pass by ordinary. being a mom is a job basically like going to the place of work is. if he gets a time off as quickly as in awhile then so would desire to you. being a mom is the toughest interest interior the international and additionally you need to be cut back a littl slack for having a ruin down each now after which. do not beat your self up over this and don't permit your husband make you experience undesirable approximately it the two ( or any of those b*tches on right here for that count). your husband basically desires to spend an afternoon or 2 on your shoes so he can recognize how extraordinarily annoying it rather is. and easily a touch factor word in case you ought to pump or once you're bottle feeding he could help you with the midsection of the night feedings. you have a job basically as much as he does and additionally you have basically as plenty actual to get some sleep at night.

Answer 4

A friendship might just make it harder on you. Right now you need to focus on moving on, and since you obviously still feel something for him its going to hurt more if he continues to be in the picture, at least at first. First thing you should do is move on, start out new, make yourself look beautifull, and do great at work. go out with your friends, just keep yourself busy. After a while your feelings will change and maybe then you and him can be friends, when your at the same level.

Answer 5

Suggestions: wash him out of your life. Why would you try to be friends with someone were are appaerntly in love with enough to marry. Give him his stuff, get any of your stuff from him and cut off contact. The friends dodge is about making him feel better not you. Unless you're a glutton for punishment get rid of him.

If you have a ring keep it. The ring is part of a contract you have maintained your part of the contract he broke his therefore you are entitled to the ring.

Answer 6

i suggest you take some alone time to deal with your feelings. if you feel you can remain friends with him and not expect anything beyond that - then a friendship sounds fine. but be careful, its easy to fall into old behaviors. i commend him for being honest and not using a lame excuse or totally skipping out on you. however i would agree with the other posts - maybe he wants a friendship with benefits or wants to feel better about the whole situation ... what is most important is whether or not you feel remaining friends would be beneficial for you. if your doing it to one day form a romantic bond again you could be setting yourself up for an even bigger heartbreak.

Answer 7

Take time away from him and the relationship. Go out with other friends and have some fun. Don't call him...yet. Let him contact you. If after a month you haven't heard from him, give a call to just catch up. Other wise take time to figure out what you want in a guy and from a relationship.

Answer 8

He wants his have his cake and eat it too. I mean, if you, as he says "can still be friends because we enjoy each other's company and we get along. " That doesn't make sense.

be glad you got rid of him now, and move on. The friend thing won't work. Maybe a few years down the road, but move on now.

Answer 9

I think you two need to back away from one another completely for awhile. Get some distance, decide what you want. Once you two have calmed down, then you can consider friendship.

I'm really sorry about your situation. He sounds like a bit of a jerk to me, and contradictory at that. Go hang out with your family and girlfriends and get some closure.

Answer 10

No, after a big break up like that you need some time to get over it. Seeing and talking to him will only make you sad. Give it some time a long time before you decide to be friends.