We've been together 4 years, have a 2 year old son and live together. We've talked about getting married, but have never mentioned when. It seems like it won't happen unless I push the issue. Since we live together I do everything a wife does for her husband. I think I put in extra effort in taking good care of him. I just wish he would ask me soon.
2006-11-27 06:49:12 · 25 answers · asked by La Chica Sexy! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What if he says things are working fine the way they are. And they are, I just can't comprehend why he wouldn't want to marry me. The one who has given him everything?
2006-11-27 07:01:22 · update #1
What if he says things are working fine the way they are. And they are, I just can't comprehend why he wouldn't want to marry me. The one who has given him everything?
2006-11-27 07:05:37 · update #2
Monica P: How did you slowy stop being his wife?
2006-11-27 07:09:08 · update #3
No...I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. My friends and family always wondered why we weren't married yet or engaged. I realized that I was being a wife without the bling or title. It was easy for me to get caught in this trap because I love him so much and wanted to take care of him. However this allowed him to get too comfortable with our relationship. I slowly stopped being his wife and became a girlfriend again. Now were getting married next May!!!
Especially because you have a child together I think you have the right to push engagement. Good Luck
2006-11-27 07:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't force this issue. The problem was created a long time ago. At this point he's probably thinking what is the point after all you've given him everything without even needing to mention marriage.
I would talk to him about it, no threats, etc. He may not even know you feel this way about it. Men aren't mind readers and often miss our hints. They just think differently than we do. Just tell him it's important to you and why. That is basically all you can do. Don't use sex as a weapon that is never a good idea in any relationship.
It's important to remember that your son may also feel different once he goes to school is older and realizes his parents aren't the same as the rest. No my parents aren't married nor are they divorced can be difficult for a child. Hopefully your boyfriend will be mature enough to realize this. Not to mention you have no legal protection financially if he decides to walk out the door someday. Or if you want to be covered on his health insurance or someday retirement plan. There are many reasons for getting married other than just the piece of paper or ring on your finger. Especially if he doesn't have a will. If he were to die you have no legal protection.
2006-11-27 07:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. You have chosen the path you are on, and it is not leading to marriage.
You should be really reading some of the other questions on here, of women exactly like you, and the responses people are giving. They are all the same.
He doesn't need or want to get married. He has everything he wants and needs. You have set yourself up in this nest and that's all you are getting. You took the wrong path - not the one toward marriage - so you have to deal with it as it is now.
There is a solution. You go back to being a girlfriend. Move out on your own and get your independence back. See if he still wants you then - but it will be on your terms. Marriage, if that is really what you want. Don't accept an engagement in the situation you are now in - he would be just doing it to quiet you down for a while.
2006-11-27 08:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to decide if the ring is what you need the most. I don't often suggest ultimatums, but if you are will to live with either decision I would tell him that the paper and the ring are important to you, and are what would make you feel closer (or whatever reason you have for wanting it) Talk about the time and commitment you have put in to this relationship, and discuss why he does not want to be married. Then let him know that it is something you want and if he cannot move to the next step with you then you will have to move on. If you are not willing to lose him over this, then count your blessings if you have a great relationship because there are not a lot of people who have found someone to spend their life with. Good luck.
2006-12-03 01:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by echofayette 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I wish you good luck. Your man is right from his point of view everything is fine you have the marriage without the wedding and it is not legal. You might say that when the union is not legal you and the children have no legal standing should anything happen to him. that might work but basically unless you are ready to throw a fit, be a ***** and threaten to end the relationship,AND MEAN IT NO MATTER WHAT, then I think you are gonna need some iceskates cause hell is gonna be froze over before this man marries you now. the old wives tales are right, why should he buy the cow when it is already in his barn.
2006-11-27 08:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you agree to live with a man for 4 years? I just don't operate that way. My husband asked me to go ring shopping after 1 month of dating and proposed 3 months after that to surprise me. I simply wouldn't continue dating someone if it went on for more then a year and there wasn't an engagement ring by then. You are foolish. This man either has no plans to marry you or he simply feels you are not right for him, but he'll take what he can get since you're willing to give it. Time to wise up.
2006-11-27 08:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same situation right now. We have been together almost 5 years and have a 3 year old son. I have made many comments to the fact that we are not married. I personally have set a date and time in the future that if he has not popped the question I will be gone with my children in tow. Good luck to you.
2006-11-27 07:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by emh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a two yr. old son, forget engagement and go for marriage. I guess I am from the old school but I don't think mcuh of a man that is willing to make the committment of making babies but when it comes to marriage draws the line....what is that all about?....Children are forever, and if you find that things don't go well, at least you have a legal right to have him pay child support (he is obligated to do so) and your child deserves that....don't you think?
This guy has gotten everything he wants and needs without committing to you...what possible incentive does he have to do otherwise?????? Smarten up girl, if you don't you may be an absolute single mom all your own with no hope for any help towards raising your son...good luck....get tough, basically right now you have nothing...nothing is less than nothing....get some kahoonas...
2006-11-27 06:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four years and a son is as good a reason as any to get engaged, but he maybe afraid of what comes after the ring. I have been told by many of my friends that were in the same boat as you and then got married that the other person changed and everything went sour all at the same time.
2006-11-27 08:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by Renae F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you've asked and answered . The next step is to meet each other at a place where you both on equal ground. The reality of your situation should become appearent in this meeting. Comunication with bounderies will establish a course of action. Love will go beyond all adversitie's and become the foundation of a newly blooming relationship. What's important is that the child be given all that your love can muster with an air of total innocence and revelation!
2006-11-27 07:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by racer123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋